now

i have always loved You in black
anxiously tapping your foot on the floor
the one evening I was grateful for the bubbling alcohol in my brain
as You watched me and I watched you back.
the way you pulled against my hands as I tried to make you dance ("please dance with me baby") Your nerves making my heart
ache
we all know i cannot dance.
the car was warm on the way home and you (angrily) chided me
again and again for being irresponsible as I caressed your skin
again and again. sighing.

i kissed You hard --two weeks left baby-- before running, dress flying behind me,
into my dark house. the grass was wet and my heart racing. i told you to
drive safely (promised that I was safe) (promising to be smart)

you fell asleep calmed down and I fell asleep breathless, imagining you dancing. the way You move, moves me more than adrenaline
ever will

I remember my fan whirring loudly with the occasional CLICk.... CLICK...cliCk ... like the random beating of my heart  

...............

the way you take my hands now, "let's dance baby", I am breathless at the way you have grown
black socks and soft hands
You kiss me hard --two days left baby--

Adrenaline pumping
I'm jumping
Foot stomping
Heart racing
Love is it not
No
It is a music i like
I like k-pop.

Angel Mar 18

I can’t hug them, I can’t even see them
They are the reason for me to live.
I just have to believe.
I thought I was close
But suddenly the chances closed
I and my fandom are inseparable
But meeting them seems impossible.
I said I love you… you can’t feel it,
I cry for you… you can’t even see it
Because I’m just one of your million fans.
Impossible to hold your hands.
I’ve realized,
No matter what will happen
I’m just a girl in the crowd
Screaming loud.
Impossible to reach you.

Lol, this is dedicated to Bangtan Sonyeondan i made this because i feel infires rn
Winter Sparrow Dec 2016

Here I sit, quietly and peacefully,
while the rest are out drinking,
planning their boring futures,
meeting their ‘soul mates’.

Here I sit, wondering and gazing,
how great my life would be,
If I got my Hogwarts letter at 11,
Experiencing the world of wizards.

Here I sit, thinking and guessing
How different my life would be
If I went fishing and found a rare gold ring,
A ring that would bring so much change in the world.

Here I sit, giggling and imagining
How different my life would be
If my best friend was Captain Jack Sparrow,
And live our lives plundering and sailing on open seas.

Here I sit, realising,
Its all a dream of mine,
Just wishful thinking.
About what could be.

Here I sit, not alone,
But with many like me
Wishing that this could be real.
Trying to create what isn't.

404 Nov 2016

My biggest fan
Is like a breath of fresh air,
Circulates the same conversation and
Knows when to cool down, but
Likes to talk in circles

It's a fucking fan.

I turn her on.
Scarlett Oct 2016
Fan

I told him
I love him
But I'm not sure
If he heard it.

I'm a hundred seats away from him
I'm a hundred barriers away from him
I'm one of his hundreds of fans.

I'm just his fan.

Dear Calum Hood, I love you T_____T
JR Rhine Oct 2016

You were draped across a girlfriend's bedroom wall
where a cross would be,
your arms held out loosely like an ambiguous invitation,
shielding your countenance from extraneous intrusions
under which she would sleep soundly
in the shroud of your incantation.

Your fallen angel wings beating back bad dreams
slain mercilessly
and falling at your feet.

Your lips slightly pouting, eyes dark,
obfuscating the madness and sex-crazed hallucinations
they harbor.

Hair purposefully unkempt,
disheveled sensuously atop your head,
tufts of hair brushed across your broad chest--

Bare muscles taut and taunting,
placed topographically on the poised temple--
those ready to worship bow their heads
in reverence to the sonic alchemist.

The modern adonis,
sculpted out of the Mississippi Delta Blues
and Dionysian wet dreams--
brought to life with the electric current pulsating through the microphone and its stand upon which you straddle with skin-tight leather pants--

Your left hand around its waist,
your right cupped over the phallus--
your lips part and your cataclysmal eyes
envelop the darkness before you--

Your image,
tormented and tantalizing
in an open invitation
to prostrate ourselves before you
and succumb to your hypnotic stare.

The door opens.

Acuriousnature Aug 2016

Ay, mine eyes be such, the great admirer

Taking your words to heart?
Truly
Though, understanding them?

I believe i have a skewed view of the true layers hidden beneath the rows upon rows of your starlight garden.
I am but a bird above your garden, admiring the upper beauty shone brightly  in the starlight.
I have but the faintest clue about the memories and experiences that root so deeply into your poems,
Nor the meanings behind the words that hold the earth so tenderly.
Ay, mine eyes be such, the great admirer
But as the greatest trees stand tall in their royal crowning,  their historic roots support them whole heartedly, with their focus all upon the lifting of the grand finale.
Deeply do your roots reach down into thine heart. And deeply so.
For how can one reach the stars without a strong story below?
Ay, mine eyes be such, the great admirer.

I cannot be so bold as to claim to know what each poem means, for that would be to have lived in your story with each passing breath.
Nay, i can only express the emotions that these words give me in relation to mine own,
curiousity, like flower garden, grown.
Ay, mine eyes be such, the great admirer

My homage to a poet that to this day I still admire. May their life be filled with joy.

Another old poem recovered through the annals of time
Lunar Love Aug 2016

To you, who has seen him in person:

How did he look like? Was his skin smooth and white as milk; or was it a golden glow bestowed upon him? Did you see the humanistic details known as blemishes or beauty marks which usually get edited out in pictures? Was he the type of person to hold your gaze as he held your hands? Or did he look away after a few seconds? Did you see the mirth that sparkled in his glassy orbs? Did you see the smiles of other people being contained in them, that now he carries an eye smile wherever he goes? Did your eyes keep his gaze, afraid that it would break the staring spell? What of his hands, were they as warm as his eyes, or vice versa? Were they soft like a light feather, or coarse with experience of the harsh outside world? Did your eyes trace the veins that led up to his arms? They're beautiful, aren't they? How those threads of blue, green and red twisted playfully under his skin, giving him the blood to see you. How about his cheeks, did they lift; did he laugh? Did his laughter sound like little bells ringing, or a little stream through a dry desert; it was so refreshing, wasn't it? Did he even smile to the point where his eyes crinkled, forehead wrinkled, and you saw both rows of his teeth? Was his voice deep? Was it too deep that you fell deeper as well, in love? Or was it a smooth one, rich in emotion, or did you hear the innocence in his soul as he gently spoke? Was he relaxed; were his shoulders and breathing calm? Was his hair nearly as disheveled as yours? Was he perspiring from the heat or from the jitters and tension? I bet you couldn't keep calm, and you nearly hyperventilated just from sharing the same air with him. Maybe he made you less nervous with cheesy pickup lines, when you yourself planned to say it to him, in hopes of getting stuck in his head with your jokes or puns. Maybe his grip was too light on your fingers, and you felt him lose his grip and slip away-- you might have held your whole world in your hand but he only held a tiny part of his. Like how he easily walked past you with a quick acknowledging glance, one that's no special from the glances he gave to others. And you wonder if you'll appear in their minds right before they sleep, or even appear in their dreams.

Even i wonder if i can ever cross his mind as nostalgia when he sees, hears or touches something. Or if I'll be able to meet him even if it's just in our dreams, and we wake up at the same time because of it. Sometimes I fear it when the day arrives to see him; i fear the day when i finally see the look in his eyes, as if he's just staring at no one. I fear the day to hold his hand, knowing his grip wouldn't be as intense as mine. I fear the day to realize he didn't and would never feel the same way. But darling, i look forward to seeing him, because he needs to know at least that he is loved. And that thought alone comforts me.

So right now, just looking at you, my dear, is more than enough. Just having you look me in the eyes, is more than enough. Because i believe and feel his eyes which once stared at yours, are staring back at me too.

From me, who loves him

How does it all feel to you?
Ignatius Hosiana Aug 2016

You're in my head drowsing me like vertigo
because I'm stupid in love with you...
That's why I want you to want me, try me and
see that I'll fight for you... I'm not blowing Trumpets
but I think you're my it Girl. I like the other side of you,
how you wiggle, chew Bubblegum...
I even love the heave of your chest when you're breathing...
Might be Broke, but I hope you can Love like that
so that together we can Make it up as we go...
I ain't just after seeing you naked...if we Trade Hearts
I believe we will be Undefeated...for you'll Love me down
and I'll stick too like a Tattoo, pick up the
Pieces of your broken heart and we'll be our Painkiller.
I'm tired of riding Solo... Marry me, it won't get ugly...
Pull up to my place, hate to talk dirty but my Heart X2CU...
they say The Sky is the limit but I believe we can go into space,
don't wanna go home without you, watcha say Cheyenne?

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