Yes, we can talk in secret
You brought me flowers?
No, you're not like them
Not like the other guys
Yes, you're special
Well, you got a mole right there
No, the one on your forearm
I like your mindset
I think you have the prettiest eyes
Yes, I love them
Close my eyes?
I do believe you
Cool, I'm cool
We can go now
Yeah, just us
since becoming housed here since this year
july first two thousand and seventeen,
tubby more precise where
with thee missus, amidst bucolic environs,
(one could don underwear
trees abundant with leaves of grass spare
zip cone: one nine four seven three,
this resident doth not find queer
disproportionate amount of time,
he spends never to overhear
the mostly soundproof walls
inside apartment b44 assigned midyear,
one bedroom living social space
gives ample opportunity to assess linear
ratcheting asper elderly folks inch along
chronological space/time continuum
fragile as jasperware
many experience diminution
of vital sensory organs, and oft time cannot hear
even without television blasting away,
no doubt harboring anticipatory anxiey sans,
grim reaper's unannounced visit they fear
their non verbal body language
(when aye espy and stride-rite past,
an old lady or man riding shot gun
securely strapped in wheel chair,
shuffling back where buffalo used to roam,
or trudging to common
all purpose gathering place)
speaks volumes analogous to a frightened deer
when caught blindsided
within bright lights of an automobile 'ere
unsure which way to go, and dashing out in the thick
of evening rush hour traffic,
lacking notion, the figurative coast not clear
subsequently doe ting bucks killed, where birds of prey
thence loftily circle gracefully
gliding within upper atmospheric air
upon scrutinizing what doth appear
as a hollowed out existence induces me to de clear
to maximize utilizing each precious moment 'ere
before each major metaphorical cog and gear
frankly zaps, this dude looks like a lady,
cuz ah ma longish bedraggled
hydrogen peroxide tinted hair
me haint give a rats ass
what rumor mongers relish, and behind me back jeer
Since old people lack for purposefulness tis unlike to leer
that one day (fast as snap of fingers),
lack of being ambulatory t'will be near
and upon limitation in physical functionality,
aye aim to app pear
motivated to partake of mental exercises
just sitting on me rear.
The world is on fire
When I say the world I mean my mind
How can I say this, you see.. people often think I'm scary because this world, I own this. This shit is mine, again when I say world.. I mean my mind. I mean me.
Some things are difficult to say but I am here writing down every thought because spreading ideas is what's helped form this world
Brutal but honest
Shy but confident
No one can bring me down
Because the world is on fire
I mean my mind
I'm saying this is me!
Heart on my sleeve
I am the danger, I am the colour
I am the heat I am the beauty
I am the smokey aftertaste people only read about in poetry
How can I explain?
This world will probably end in ashes so you might as well dance with the flames
Use my pass indiscretions 4 you future transgressions
Use my flaws to covers yours
keep bringing back our pass just so u can do what you did in the pass
Cus you see I'm a new "ME"
New as in my mindset
NOT GONNA LET THE NEGATIVITY OF EVERY DAY MISERY DESTRUCT ME
Come to me with those old mindset mentality of IMMATURITY holding on to the pass mentality of the old "ME"
If you looking for she don't look here cus here she will not be
Look here for her 4 eye depart with her sum time ago the only way for me 2 LEARN AND GROW
I heard a loud rasp on my big wooden door
Worry had shown up knocking once more
What do you want? I cursed at the wind.
He was looking for Trouble, his dear, childhood friend.
As Worry went in by me- a strange car appeared.
Anxiety, Fear, and Doubt were all here!
Well, isn’t this great? I didn’t know they could drive!?
Either way, it was clear- my new guests had arrived.
They stumbled over each other as I clung to my door…
leaving invisible smudges across my clean kitchen floor.
They greeted the others who sat perched on my couch.
Trouble grinned extra wide, an otherwise grouch.
They made so much noise that I now couldn’t think.
So I unwisely offered them all something cool to drink.
They mumbled, “No thanks. We’re doing just fine.”
Anxiety seemed nervous, and couldn’t decide.
Please state your purpose? Why are you here?
I shouted above them to make myself clear.
“We don’t really know. Remember? You let us in?”
They all stared blankly back from my once cozy den.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you like us here?” quipped Mr. Doubt.
Fear nudged the others, “Hey? Is he kicking us out?”
Now I had their attention as they huddled together.
A fresh breeze named courage had altered their weather.
Why I’ve just discovered, I have no more space!
No room for your game of ‘cat and mouse’ chase!
As my faith-filled the room they saw I believed…
they shrunk and took notice and each started to leave.
I rattled off scriptures…all unrehearsed.
Can’t remember the chapters or exactly each verse.
Soon it was quiet- peaceful order restored.
I pressed my door to and gave thanks to the Lord.
You know, the better I get overall the worse my relationship with sleep gets.
I keep on trying. I know its healthier. I know its good for me. But no matter how hard I try, its so easy to forget. So easy to just keep going.
I'm not good at stopping. I don't like to stop.
I'm like a telegram with run-on sentences. Sometimes, innovative and brilliant. other times, incomprehensible.
I'm on the precipice of so much excitement and joy that, per usual, sleep takes a back seat. I'm bad at not letting it take a back seat. Its just so good at taking the back seat.
To be honest, I'm better with sleep with him around. And its less because he's some magic cure-all, and more he makes me calmer and I can't stay on my phone haphazardly or turn on the lights and write with another person in the bed.
More to be honest, this has less of a point and more a myriad of ramblings in hope to get myself sleepy and able to fall asleep. Because despite my rebellious mindset, I do wish to sleep eventually.
I even tried waking up early yesterday. Didn't work.
I dunno what to do. I'm pretty bad at this. If my insides aren't screaming I tend to question it less. But, perhaps, as an adult, I should question it a little more.
Maybe sleep's just heading in my bedhead.
When you are working on that really important history project, before you can even begin, there is always that one person who asks: "So how much is this worth? How much will this count towards our mark?"
Ugh. Welcome to the Bauer state of mind everybody!
All that matters in life is how successful you are. And as long as your average is a constant 100%, you do not need to worry about anything else.
What a life huh?
These people are the perfect people for office job life. Nothing but numbers, no life, no soul.
Nothing else matters to them.
And singling these people out in high school is the saddest thing, and the most hilarious thing I've done.
Because these people brag at 100% and cry at 99%.
How can you not be satisfied with anything less than overdoing it?
I mean, you go on and live your life.
But I'll stay here with a more than satisfactory 85%.
I can work with that.