I'm sorry, but, I think I lost the set of rules that said I wasn't allowed to pick up the phone and call you when I felt like It.
I'm sorry, but, I think I lost the rule book that said I was only allowed to text you every two days or so.
We are in the new.
We are the modern dating - the shit dating- the "I like you right now but maybe not tomorrow" dating.
We are in the "I think I'm in love with you but don't actually know you" dating.
Maybe I'm a little pessimistic and sad and a little pissed off.
Maybe I'm just tired of my heart getting destroyed.
Maybe I just want someone to really get to know me instead of asking to see my tits.
I'm sorry, but, maybe you didn't get it when I said I wanted something real- no games, no playing around.
I'm sorry, but, maybe you didn't hear me when I said I want to get to know you or maybe you just ignored that part.
We are the new.
We are the Modern.
We are the asshole "Millennials" everyone talks shit about.
will old embers burn anew?
i pray they lie smothered
while i set forth a fire
to take hold of your heart
its gripped mine
and threatens to break it
unless you share the pain
and bear this infectious pressure
...but i know i will die alone
...with this ticking in my chest
...you have found your man
...i am just one among the rest
how could i compete
this man left you
just to come back
i was always there
never cared for
until the day before
he changed your mind...
and so you left from me
for a friend of mine
a friend of yours
an amazing man...
he deserves you more...
You know me, but you don't.
We're great friends,
but you don't know how much I want to be with you.
How much your presence gives me butterflies.
But we're just friends, right?
And it's not like I've been friendzoned,
because I've never even told you.
You have no idea.
So when you ask another girl, I'll have no one to cry to.
Because sometimes you just can't cry
to your best friend about what they did.
The worst part is,
you told me how you were up all night thinking about her.
And I know that she's going to turn you down,
if you ever get the courage to do it.
Because we're friends too.
When I first heard what you were going to do, I panicked.
I didn't know how to react.
It wasn't even you who told me.
But I hid that feeling and went on with my day for another hour.
I guess the shock made it easy.
But when I saw you, I wanted to start swinging.
But I still didn't want to mess up your perfect face.
You were so perfect, until I heard your secret.
I'll be fine tomorrow.
I'm sure of it.
I'll tell myself I don't care.
But then the next day I'll start crying again.
My emotions will be a rollercoaster for the next couple weeks.
Thanks for that.
Every song I hear will be about you.
Thanks for that.
And yet I shouldn't be mad.
Because you didn't know.
And you never will.
Sometimes I feel like it's all just a game in my head.
I go from moments of intense emotion
and when I finally feel okay
the cycle starts all over again.
And I can't keep these lightning shifts
so I end up ruining everything
and everyone else.
And even when I recognize the behavior,
it shifts to a seemingly more innocent danger.
I can't help it,
and I can't victimize,
so I'll just make everyone hate me
so I'll just make everything die.
I'm feeling hesitant
To ever fall asleep
Again, let alone tonight
I can't stop wondering
This thing inside a hollow casing
That I call me
Begs for nothing
I can't believe its almost four fifteen
And the sun is already glowing outside my window
I hate you and I just want to be alone....
Why can't I be alone
Its your fault I hate myself, I hate that you exist, get out of me
I don't want to live this
Blazed in crimson over my digital alarm clock
I barely hear the noise, the thoughts crowding out of my head
Fuck you, I just want to be alone
I pry myself up
A headache unrealized blinds me for more than a second
Do I look in the mirror....
Seems like an easy choice, but I still choose wrong
My feet barely keep balance as I stumble over clutter
Things left to remind me of the lack of progression
Head pounding, blood crawling
Life at a standstill
Pass out on the couch, get up hours later
Missed my buss
Better just shoot myself
See you in the twilight,
every night that my eyes are closed.
Your skin glows,
hands as soft as I recall.
Hair is still the same garnet shade-
you look beautiful.
Please, don't go.
I know, it's selfish-
you give life to greenery,
and flowers grow from the ashes.
Sickness no longer ravages your body,
I want you to come back to me-
the stars don't shine the same way,
every cloud remains looking gray-
they took my sunshine away.
Breaths shouldn't run out so young,
my soul wants to speak with your’s.
Where we divide the vicinities of Heaven and Hell,
love of mother and child lasts an infinity.
Met with blue skies above our heads,
greenest grass under our feet.
there's no race in the sands of time,
your heart still beats
& you smile.
This moment ends
and the time spent together transcends
into the unknown,
when the sun glows through my blinds--
I'm left with just the ghost of you.
Mother, I want this sorrow to leave
if you can't come back, please stay in my dreams,
your spirit gleams among the horizon.
I'm trying to balance the wrong and the right in my life.
I am running out of ways to say "I love you" and " thanks for not leaving me all alone when I'm an asshole"
I find myself pushing people away just so I can continue to travel down the road less traveled.
Following the path that has monsters hiding in the trees and demons waiting to pounce from the shadows.
I am wandering. I am exploring.
I have become one with the nomadic spirit that lives inside my heart.
But I cannot remember how it feels to truly LIVE.
He left a long time ago and my friends have picked me up more times than I can count on one hand.
I left myself a long time ago- and my family has picked me up more times than I can count on one hand.
I can't remember what's worse.
The feeling of falling in love or the feeling of losing the one you love.
Because in both situations...
I have lost someone.