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Amy Perry 11h
I’ve never felt
More luxurious
Than when
I was on a newly
Prescribed drug
With a total body high,
Coming down from mania,
Still exuberant,
But in a private space,
In my bathroom
In the ward,
In a bathtub
That does not fill up.
So I put on the shower
And I let the water hit my skin
And I took bite after bite
Of crisp and juicy apple slices.
I was at the mental hospital
Marilyn Monroe stayed in.
I imagined her here in the same bath
Also feeling luxurious and all sorts
Of ****** up like me.
abp
Void 1d
I can't find the words today...
If I speak, no one will believe me
They never did, anyways
So I put my heart on display
But my mind is slipping
My soul is aching
And I just want them to listen to me
I want somebody to believe me
Just because my condition isn't physical, doesn't mean it isn't real
Mental illness infects the mind and body
Some people are too ignorant to understand
I feel like a phone that has been used all day,
Until it's breaking Point
like it has reached its lowest battery percentage,
until its dead
I feel emotionally drained.

I give i,-I give, and I give
until I've given my everything.
Until the end I feel like no one cares about
giving me a single thing, I feel used and ignored
and when lm Finally recharged Im being picked up
again...
Woke up at 3:00am to write this
Up… Up… UP. Down… down… down…
My mind is a storm. Chaos. An ocean of thoughts.
Ideas. Aspirations.
Confusion. Despair. Isolation.
    How long must I suffer?


alone


   Surrounded yet alone.


But then I’m not. Up, up, up I float.
      I walk on clouds.
       Mountain tops.
I cling to this feeling.
  How long will it last?
   I, naively, hope forever.
I float in peaceful rivers.
I lift my eyes to the Heavens, and burst with thankfulness.
I’m okay
I’m not alone.
I am at peace and enveloped by everlasting love.
Though I crash, abruptly.
I fall and fall and fall. I crack.
But I heal.
    I endure, keep trudging.
The confusion and lies of Satan don’t pin me down.
                                Not anymore.
You are with me, forever.
You wait for me. Love me. Hold me. Walk beside me.
I am a warrior. Survivor. Stronger than ever.
I can’t do it alone. This life, this rollercoaster of a mind.
I can’t trust myself, I put myself in Your Hands.
I trust You.
I cling to you, with all that I am.
For You are good, and You provide. 
 I repent.
I am renewed.
Peace ever flowing, Love everlasting.
My Love. My Father. My Savior.
Thank You.
I am not a disappointment, or crazy, or demon possessed.
                       Your Holy Spirit remains.
You love through me. You were intentional in my creation.
  I am Yours.
                         Forever and always.
                                    Amen.
My soul is afraid
Of when love used to be dangerous,
When home was not synonymous with protection,
And when I wasn't safe
Even from myself.
Memories contuse my heart
And leave bitter embers on my brain.
I wonder when I will be able to let go
Of a past that should not hold so much power
Over a future I've worked so hard for.
I spend.
I drink.
I rationalize.
I think.
No filter.
I speak.
Hypocrite.
I leak.
Overdrive.
Can’t stop.
Socialize.
I shop.
   Mentality.
No breaks.
Try to heal.
I ache.
Pray.
For sanity.
Vanish.
Vanity.
Love.
Conditions.
        Strive.
Submission.
All is fine.
Squander.
Why?
I wonder.
Stand up.
I pledge.
        Not worth the fight.
Allege.
        Drained.
Mentally.
Stained.
Fundamentally.
Saved.
Eternal.
Grateful.
External.
Unchanging.
All praise.
Loved.
Unfazed.
I swim into the depth of sulpiride every night
where those times I died like the dead roses
when I took the stairs right to the light
every composes derived the harmony of doses

To swear upon the streams of reckless
To the labyrinth of happiness
here I go to come fire the enclaves
Maybe nobody in home, hopeless
It has been long time, I been medicating for over one month and battling now I just wanna write again. Pardon me.
Angela 5d
I'm sorry for nightmares
buried so deep
I screamed in your face
for what you did in my sleep

for thoughts that diffracted
and times I despaired
over heartbreaking moments
that weren't really there

I'm sorry I promised
and failed to awake
while my sleepwalking heart
found problems to make

for trusting my eyes
when the lies reappeared
and the limited days
when delusions had cleared

for leaving you lonely
in the world that is real
while I slipped off the edge
into deep dark surreal

for how I'm still sleeping
and have failed to escape
the mirages of monsters
when love is at stake

I wish I could keep you,
confirm you're enough,
but these nightmares within
won't let me wake up
When mental illness eats your relationship, who can relate?
I would rather look at the sky with stars and beauty
Go to sleep and see ugliness behind my eyelids
For hours asleep the nightmares come in

I would rather look at the moon full and fat
Then go to sleep and deal with the horrific details of my past
For the nightmares as I sleep

I would rather look at the aurora borealis
Then I have to deal with the horrific gory details of the future
For the night mares are comes in

I would rather find a planet in the sky with a telescope
Then deal with prophetic dreams of doomsday
For these prophetic nightmares calm in my sleep

I would rather pull an all night or instead
The moon…
With its phrases and different shapes
Sure is it’s OK to be going through different phrases and emotions
The sun with rising and sets
Means it’s OK to have your ups and downs
Your emotions will not last at least not the  negative ones
It’s OK to be human the night and Day sky shows that this is what we are supposed to be like going up and down and having different phases and emotions
It’s OK not to be OK
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