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Its 3:30 in the morning
My eyes bloodshot and wide awake
My mind in a confused trance
My chest running out of breath
My heart growing heavier by the minute

Desperately going for my keys
Wallet on hand, phone in my pocket
I think I need a drive just for tonight
To chase where my mind goes
And clear the thoughts off my head

My hands trembling in panic
My eyes stealing focus on the road
Limbs on automatic as my mind wanders
I guess a trip to get some alcohol
Would help calm my nerves down

Took a sip while heading to Lord knows where
Holding back my tears as I run around in circles
I don't know where I'm heading, I just kept on driving
My heart in a constant state of agony
As I found myself stopping at your front door

Bursting into tears when I realized
Where I sought to find some comfort
In your arms I've always felt at ease
But this time it feels so different
When the same arms are the ones hurting me

I know I agreed to wait for you
Wait for you to fully open your heart to me
I even said I'd wait against all the odds
Just to earn the chance to win your heart
But why do I feel miserable at this moment?

You seemed so close to me
Well within my hands' reach
You shower my body with your embrace
And nurture my lips with your kisses
Yet why do you feel so distant?

No matter how much I try to run to you
You keep on pushing me farther away
No matter how much I try to break your walls
You keep on setting up newer, stronger barriers
Sometimes I can't keep up with your thoughts

You leave me dazed and confused
And yet you still make me feel loved
You make me believe that this could be concrete
Yet you can't put words on how much I mean to you
I don't know how to respond to any of this

You make me feel at ease in adversity
And yet sometimes you're confusing to me
A source of both my serenity and sweet agony
You're an addiction that may be bad for my being
And yet I still offer to you my everything

You drove me in a crossroad I can't avoid
You want me to stay and yet you freely let me go
So now I'm in dilemma I can't imagine to escape
Because even as all the signs point to danger
Here I am, still driving, still going towards you

I'll keep on driving towards where you are
No matter how near or no matter how far
People may say that I'm idiotic and crazy
But regardless I stand by the routes I choose
And amidst all the traffic, I'll chase the elusive wind called you
Heey! Its been a while!
Here's a new piece.

Hope everyone likes it. :)

-J
A match, unlit, but potent, awaiting
A spark.
Impulse, unfit, but potent, awaiting
The dark.
Controlled, subdued by intimidation.
Behold! It escapes in conflagration!

Desire, unmet, but potent, and wanting
To play.
The id, unchecked, but potent, and wanting
To prey.
Dead, beaten into its subjugation.
Instead! Unchained, furious damnation!

Defense, untried, but potent, seeking
To win.
Violence, untold, but potent, seeking
To sin.
Enslaved, subject to emasculation.
Saved! Freedom, total depravation!
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Endless Highway,
Molded Hideaway.
Folded Golden Bay,
Baking in the Sun.
Friendless- my way.
Hold it; Warm Rays
Sold it- For a Rainy Day.
Faking all the Fun.
She began by saying,
Will you sacrifice your own life for me ?
Let me get under your skin,
Make you bleed for the thrill of it,
Make your soul tilt when its tinted in the mist of the poker faces,
Can you bleed for the fun of it ?,
Bleed for the vanity ?,
Bleed for the chains ?
Bleed for the accolades ?,
Bleed for the trends ?,
Bleed for the false gods and goddesses ?,
Bleed for this purposeless system i have constructed ?,
My response to her was “I cant do that”,
The sacrosanct thoughts bleed from the unseen presence,
The Pure presence left my flesh numb and detached from the odds of death,
The Stings of death in the hand of the king of kings,
The king brings life once I surrender my life,
The fountain of glory springs up and floods my spirit well,
The fountain floods the wicked heart that fails,
Revive the presence once lost,
The heart is ready to set sail within the divine presences,
Can a man see the ugliness wrapped around his own heart ?
I have seen young men bleed viciously for the chaos from the heart,
Once again I ask myself ‘Should I take part’ ?
The Consciousness spark the imagery of the consequence ,
Untold stories of a pure unseen kingdom been left behind,
forgotten for the kingdom of Babylon,
Look closely underneath this bleeding sun,
Religious men and secular men  bleed for that day when the system becomes one,
aj kamaria Nov 18
paint your words in the sky
oh darling
don’t let them shut you out
cry out all your thoughts
and scream your insanity
for they can’t understand until they hear
yes you’re different
but truly beautiful you are
and bright filled with drive and passion
so paint your words
as you would a picture
and let your mind speak the chaos.
you are all beautiful.
Lily Nov 17
He didn’t grow up in a good home.
He didn’t have a supportive mother.
He didn’t have a father worth speaking of.
He didn’t know how to read or write.
He didn’t know that 2+2=4.
He didn’t have any friends.
He didn’t know that such wonderful things existed.
He didn’t play or run outside.
He didn’t have the permission to.
He didn’t graduate high school.
But he didn’t drop out.
That night, he didn’t stop drinking.
That night, he didn’t use his head.
That night, he didn’t care.
That night, he didn’t put on his seatbelt.
He didn’t see the car coming.
He didn’t hear the crunch of the metal.
He didn’t hear the screech of the tires.
He didn’t wake up.
A writing prompt urged me to write a poem based on the things that "didn't" happen.  This is what came out of it.
I spend so much time
Basking in the silence as time unwinds
Hoping for a moment where I can exhale
From these deep breaths, and focus on my dreams
Without this sharp pain in my side
This feeling of being stressed

All the time.

I've spent nights daydreaming
Howling at my internal moon
In hope that the glare that illuminated
The pitch black sky inside
Would not shed light on the wolf
Or shed tears for the boy who cried
But rather spare those crucial moments
Of wasted time, from which those tears
Left the boy's eye.

The tears that watered a rose
Waiting to bloom alive

I know it's okay to cry.

I know it's okay to not know where
You're going sometimes.

Despite the unsettling emotions that
Surround you like autumn leaves
Worried that if you step on one
They'll play the part of a sidewalk
On Friday the 13th
And someone's back will break
In its wake...
In your sacrifice...
In your hesitation to move along
As you injure your finger pressing
The replay button

As you know very well that it's not the
Memories of times wasted that haunt you

It's the regret of not allowing yourself to fail
During the times you thought failure
Was all that it would lead to.
This piece centers around how I worry myself constantly about my situation, day in and out. I try to focus so hard, but that may be the issue I'm facing that's the hardest to come to terms with; that I'm focusing too hard. Finding the balance is hard at times, but I have faith that things will work out. Music, poetry, and writing definitely help, that's for sure. The concept that is presented in this piece can go for any hard situation. I hope someone finds solace in its message. Never give up, cry when needed, and know that things always have a way of working out, one way or another. Much love!
Lily Nov 5
The gas meter read
Full, and our hearts were open,
Our walls were torn down.
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