Saint Audrey Dec 10

Rather go crazy than listen
Pandering by admission but
Self aware snares set for corrupted youths
Fool hearty young adults with full color led's
Its enough to make an end of me
Plans still foolproof
A poem to read aloud
Bad enough to tap out and let the pain bleed
I need some new meds

Fucking wooden in delivery
Half a mac truck stuck in traffic
Social laxatives and blocks of backwoods taxing
Masked attackers wielding flak cannons
Better off landing face down
Don't bother looking around, its all ghastly

A sight to behold as the intestinal tract
Gets pretty much pretty as I get
Gussied up
And roped into gore like we busted
A collective gut

Dogs chewing
But its hard to tell until
One of them spits up a curly tail

Forming a gang of mindless drones around an idea
Still going strong and letting go of mindless chatter
Still feels weird with every meter metric laughter
Conversion is hard, so skipping the math
I'm busy laughing, I never bothered with math class

Algebraic as an insult makes most
Laymen giddy
Do what you will with me, society

Never wanted much, in the way of a cure
Never wanted more, but
There's still so much more

Never wanted a change in the way
I think
But all I say is

Same

Saint Audrey Dec 7

Fine things lining pockets
And flawed gems from a faucet
It took a month to mar the clauses
long forgotten fiends and flowing
Nature lost scenery

It might be menial, but if I don't like the imagery
I'd use a run on and run on, running on
Fumes like carbon clouds, bowing at the center
Of the hopelessness I've found

Of moths and flame, danger and wanting
Nature and harboring diseases and watching
Crystalline precipices overblown from cold
Rain, eroding stone long since lain

Homes blown through in half a day
Another half century laid waste
Forage a new course for the streams
The selfish, like me only disagree

Despite the discontent
Restless nights and fires burning low
Into the biting air, a show of flair
Its not right, or fair to vent

Hollow, it would seem
Still stable, the ecosystem of
Constant change
Trying to be heard over a flood of filth

Tidal waves painting fields
Recessing long since venerated guest
Retaking ocean lost to sandy beaches
And kids with half a dream left in them
I spent my last penny on a whim

Saint Audrey Dec 3

I can't get so bogged down
Like i do now
So often its
Boring to be found and
Lost at the same time
Finding time to lie in
My bed, or a coffin
Whatever works
For better or worse

Plans I don't make
Can't really change
Or fall through at all
Funny enough
My whole things been
Mauled and I'm standing here
Coughing and blocking out
More ideas

Pretentious melody's play in my head
But I can't slip into
Real world explanations
The sky can only be one of two colors
A sentiment tied to
One or the other
Or I'm left wondering why
It has to be

I'm still sick of every friendship I make
Its hard to examine the memorys
What I take, and what i leave behind
Trivial, and i wish i had a bit more
Control

I don't care about my future
Irregardless people will still be
And treat me the same
Way, and I'll still be pining for
The same things
Guarded and
Mostly friendless

Saint Audrey Nov 29

All my friend's lost the faith as rivers of untapped
Ichor potential drain from what could be

Still in a bad way, but learning to cope with
The constant pressure that's building behind my eyes

We lived for a pipe dream
But it seems fate had us occupied
Everything that life did entail
And predestination

With every other missed intro
And work that falls by my wayside
Finite we fight for empty tales
No longer a fail safe

Bloviating on and on about how it used to be
Ignoring the misery that plagues us to the day
With iron in hand, a blood spattered mistery
I eye up the crime scene of all of your dashed dreams

But tomorrow

We'll still wake up

And somewhere on the uptake, I'm sure you'll find the way

Into the path

I chose to take

You'll see I never gave up on what you threw away

There's no such thing as second takes, the reel got thrown away
Stop searching in the shadow, for a risk you'll never take
As time winds up around you, and brings you from your state
Why fight the intuition

Saint Audrey Nov 24

Every passing moment
Caught myself staring at the blissful sky
On my ceiling

Awash in the glow
Of light that hides away just out of frame
Burning me low

Thoughts of my life still beckon, as the world takes a somber tone
But the timing is right, pulled in an undertow

To stray from the dark,  finding myself so alone
And yet I'm found, Isn't that enough?

A gilded cage for me, true
I'd rather let the summer air drench the weathered wood
And permeate my bedroom, then
Lie here lifeless
Nothing left to fight
Only time

Saint Audrey Nov 12

It's still not ok, but then again, when has it ever been...

--------------------

There's nothing but grey skies
I can just about glimpse them through the small rectangles of glass that let light in through the top of the front door
I like looking at it
Sitting on the lowest wooden stair
Behind me, they trail upwards to the hardwood floor above

Its always comforting, watching as the first few drops fall from the sheets of clouds
They create runways and channels across the dusty glass before its all washed away in the torrent
It always looks so clean, and bright, despite the clouds blocking the sun
Bright against the pale white paint of the door
The edges lost in a murky dark

Its good to not have to think
It can get overwhelming
And I like catching just a glimpse or two of
A passing black bird or
Something...

Just to remind me whats outside

monday
Saint Audrey Nov 11

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break

In my voice she heard the fear
As my words fell into her ears
I couldn't bear to play it straight
As she watched me start to break

Thankless and adamant
Not a drop went to waste
I can't forget, a single day
As she laughed, and watched me start to break

Fuck it
I lied
I don't need to justify
My time, wasted with you in memory

Funny how things look so clear

Standing here, all alone
Surrounded by the ghost that haunt the
Air I breath, screaming now
Founded on the things I predicate

You watched my heart start to break

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break

Notes
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