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alex 2d
my mind weaving baskets
and my arms weaving hugs from the backseat
so many thank-you-for-loving-me's
all i could do was laugh and love you
(thank *** i didn't call you like i wanted to)
you told me you wanted my happiness
where it belonged
with the others like me in the kitchen
i told you that you were wrong
i'd never leave you so solitary
oh don't you forget what i said in my stupor
in my public display of desire for affection
(what would i have said?)
you've seen me at my worst now
and even then all i can say is how
much i adore you and miss you
it must be my most passionate truth
(too much)
jcl. i was tipsy then drunk then i looked at you and i was so so in love. i told you that you were my best friend and you said i was your best friend too and i asked you to say it again and you did. i told you i'd miss you and it probably didn't make sense in the context (winter break) because i didn't give any but you said you'd miss me too. you really have seen me at my worst, and my worst is just telling you that i love you. "drunk words are sober thoughts," and they certainly are.
alex 3d
He told me I was his best friend
I’m sure it was just like on campus and I d him he was my best friend which is true like on campus and he’s so kind and sweet and I love him so much
He’s the Jake to my Amy
Kylie said he was Lindsay Lohan and I was his Aaron like right off the bat no question and we’re a pair
He makes me so happy
He wasn’t going to drive but he drove me nd didn’t drink because of that even though I told him we could switch and I felt bad because he had fun at mtsu but he told me it was okay and he kept saying it and I love and value him so much
He dealt with me drunk and he’s so cute
His face is so sparkly
I want to hold his hand
Imagine if I did
I sat beside him on the couch and we were close and pressed against each other and he eventually moved later to another chair and I know that it’s because he didn’t like it but omfg what if he just knows better bc he feels things
I know it’s not true but I’m writing my drink thoughts
I left my gum at Hannah’s house but it’s okay
I had approx 3 cups of wine and a cup of *****/7 up/cranberry juice and half a cup of *****/dr pepper
I love him. I just do. It’s a fact. I’m so fixing grateful that we’re friends.
I’m a *******
“You’re my best friend too, I don’t talk toanyone”
“Ok ok say it again”
“I don’t talk to anyone”
“No the first thing”
“You’re my best friend”
“*** I love u I’m gonna give u a hug from back here thank you for driving everything and I love u and I’m gonna miss you -“
“I’ll miss you too”
“And just thank you”
That was the convo before he drove away and I went inside and I sent some messages to him and I’m sitting in my cozy room still tipsy and  thinking about him and that’s all

Even sober, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. He may be it. I sat with him on the couch all night and I don’t remember a lot but I remember us laughing and me looking him in the eye and loving him unconditionally. I felt like we had been disconnected for a little while but I’ll really never stop loving him he’s the Jake to my Amy I’m definitely Amy and he’s definitely Jake and i hope one way we end up with each other sometimes I wonder what will happen after we graduate but I love him and try not to think about it but either way I love him and that’s all.

That’s really all. He’s home safe and I couldn’t be happier. What if he kissed me

What would that be like

I imagined it a lot tonight

I don’t remember much from tonight but I remember looking at him and just loving him. He’s everything to me. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I’m going to sleep watching Brooklyn 99 and the fact that he loves this show is so amazing. He’s perfect. I’m trying to stop typing but I can’t.

I bought his water tonight. Didn’t notice until later that he couldn’t drink because he was driving. He had a swig if ***** but didn’t feel anything. I told him I knew he would and he didn’t believe me but I knew he would. Maybe I really do know him.

I wonder if I’ll be hungover probably

Reminder to self look back at messages to Endia kaylinn as Jacob just to make sure you weren’t ******

I love Endia I’m glad she knows that now and I’m glad she told me she loves me too and I told her that I was always surprised that she didn’t and that she defended it it makes me feel so good to know that she really does value me like that

I’m laying/lying down goodnight I love Jacob and Endia and kaylinn and Kylie and bell and Val and Kyle and Hannah and Evan and Maryellen and Mackenzie and Denee and Jenna and myself <3

My lips are still numb
jcl and others. i’m drunk at this very moment. i’ll delete this later but i really do love him.
Spending the weekend with my favorite people
Can't wait to be where I can be me
Free of all judgement
With them I'm my happiest
Pillow fights, staying up all night
Scary movies and spilling tea
I hope I never have to leave
And that's the tea sis! -Sarah
Harley Nov 29
Partying for days since you're gone
Drink till I'm drunk
Smoke till I'm high
Crying you aren't in my life
Broken on new drugs
New guys gettin' messed up
*** with people I don't even know
Partying for days since you're gone
This is one of the shortest poems I've written inspired by a song I heard on the radio.
Rita Sailor Nov 27
he wants to leave and i help him to pack
because i know where things are
because i want to keep them for myself  

no wonder he’s not sticking around
an abrupt invasion of privacy is bound to end this way
good thing he didn’t burn all the bridges just yet
they welcome him back with open hands

we talk about a friend of a friend who’s friend with other friends but not ours
twice removed thrice forgotten at the party
no bad blood but don’t hold your breath for wedding invitation
i don’t have an appropriate dress and no means to come by 
since we’re started talking in lower voices about grown-up things like mortgage and 401k
we’re in an endless cycle of negotiation
with ourselves and each other
so long, don't think I'll ever throw a party for this tea set for six
when you comes
the sun appears
the warm takes place
the cold vanishes
the world becomes at party
evryone gets happy
and my times seem funny
i feel as the time moves
in speed waves and waves
as i forget to remark
what awful does it take?
it takes important thing
that you will talk
meet or see you again
meeong lovers is the gft and hope for life
Amanda Nov 20
I spent all night attempting to take
Care of you even after you said
I was needy, I stayed awake
Sober while I put you to bed.

I covered you in blankets we shared
Wiped puke off of your face
I did not mind having to stay there
(Boots weren't that hard to unlace)

Helping makes me feel good
If I was the one passed out by two
I know without doubt you would
Take care of me the same way too
This was written 8-27-12
It feels like a lifetime ago
Wish my life was still this simple
Joy Nov 13
My eyes open sticky
sticky from the air.
And I believe a cigarette bud
is tangled somewhere in my hair.

My sock smells of alcohol.
I stink of decay.
There's the faint whiff of cannabis
from the steel glossy ashtray.

Clothed bodies everywhere
are sleeping safely and soundly.
And my porcelain heart
is beating quite proudly.

Sun blasts through the window
music soothing anxiety.
It's like an awakening
from a dark age of sobriety.

I gather my things
as best as I can.
I get out of the apartment
and then hop on a train.

I can feel people judging
I can feel their cold stare.
They think I am reckless
they think I don't care.

But I am so safe
in this smelly shell of degradation
that I can't fall victim
to any form of condemnation.
Tell me you don’t **** with that ****.
Babe, tell me you don’t.
Tell me you don’t need another hit.
Babe, tell me you don’t.

I thought I was enough
I thought you could change for me
you wouldn’t get rough
with yourself anymore.

I became someone new
So that we could start a life,
me and you.
I got good, I thought you did too
But you’re still in the hood
of addiction
Should I stay and help you through
this affliction

We’ve done it all before
Should I stick around once more
‘Cause I’ll tell you now
I’m done picking you up
Like your mother
I’m your girl, not another
enabling brother

I love you, I do
I just need more than half of you
So that I can prove to myself
That I'm not walking back into ****
With no exit plan
And no escape route
Except a ****** man and a raincoat
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