A ***** was in heat Her nature so sweet Stray dogs liked her Stray dogs admired her She had many paramours One day she fell into a ditch Her paramours were concerned They wanted to save her They applied many techniques But none worked Dejected they sat Along the ditch A saint bernard named Saint Happened to pass by He saw dogs panting Intermittently ranting Bhon, bhon, bhon... He asked what's the matter Bhon, bhon they uttered The ***** is in the ditch He saw the ***** in heat He hit upon a plan He was quite large He could cover the ditch He lay firmly His fore limbs on the ground Dropped hind limbs into the ditch Took a position Locked with her With a great **** Next moment The ***** was out of the ditch Saint saved her! It was a ****** affair!
Over thirty thousand years ago a pregnant she-wolf And her mate lay hidden in the grass Watching some of our human ancestors Hunt with spears, bows and arrows. They were very impressed But more than that so hungry That they followed those humans home Hoping to steal some meat.
They were just about to ****** that food When a humans appeared All around them. They were caught! All they could do was look up with pleading eyes: “Please don’t **** us! We just want food.” Seeing one of them was heavily pregnant Those humans presumed them starving And threw them meat Then let them go!
Hungry again, they went back for more And the humans fed them And even stroked them. This was so much better Than having to search for prey So often without reward.
And as time passed they took to accompanying these humans On their hunts Then ferreting out some prey for them to shoot Rounding animals up And retrieving those shot down by arrows.
Soon the rest of their pack joined them And the female wolf had her pups Near the human camp Where it was safe. She taught her pups To plead for food and care With their eyes and whines.
Those wolves remained forever, Generation after generation Each litter getting cuter And softer And more loving Towards mankind.
And so they evolved Into a seemingly endless variety Of “Dogs”. From Rottweilers to tiny Poodles, German Shepherds and Collies to Chihuahuas. They became known as “Man’s Best Friend”, Showing us unconditional Love And loyalty: A bond like no other. Even evolving raised eyebrows And deeply sad eyes To attract our love and care. Domesticating themselves Yet begging the question Who is really “the master”? My money is on Them.