My thoughts are mine But, somehow I fear them they speak volumes I often feel deaf they shook me bad i try to hide from the chase they love though, I cry when they fell numb I find myself sigh 'was it worthwhile?' to let them define my worth like that I tend to overthink just like they desire fear consumes me chaining me in its clutches on my knees bleeding crimson a sad reality I accept guilty I proceed vulnerable picture of me.
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the balance arises she points illuminance not the right joint like the sun overdosed in the sky clouds disappear in the high flipped worlds refraction in swords
in an instant speed nightfall glitches in a scream kiss the moon in a double tick the fulls bright convincing a vision trick save the day in no way
spinal chords in the dark serenading the blue but my colors drained from every single hue the center of the system remains golden confusion enlightens a feeling so broken trapped the whole breathing and my lungs are still bleeding
I cannot feel or reel in the things that i deem to be unreal There's a blank spot in my heart a pit that's been teared open and wholly ripped apart
Do not dare falter or stumble in your path Do not scorn or scoff at this nor dare lay a frown Do not look down at me and see as if i am some widowed gal reaching out her hand
I pretend to know where the bird lays it's nest Pretend to know the flowers are here to stay but that's a play pretend, i know nothing except the horrors that stay grey and feed all day I pretend to smile and seem as if i hadn't been bleeding where i lay
Go on with your path, falter not at the widow least you desire to face it's wrath Go on, least you find what's missing then serve your hand, Good man
Lemons into lemonade... That's what they tell me. It's so hard to make lemonade When your wrists want to bleed. The juice stings my flesh And I just want to end. The scars remain on my flesh A reminder of my friend. Pain is the only one I can tell Nothing else is real. Other people will spill and tell The secret of how I feel.
Lemons into lamentation That's all I have today- Nothing but hopeless lamentation- Until life stops dumping lemons on my tray.
Reaching my hands so hard that my fingers bent Counting days till happiness And my finger lines are erased I finally grasp a fading light It’s a memory of olden times Swinging in the blue rusted swing In school’s playground, waiting For my parents to pick me up So I’ll show them my bruises And they’ll cheer me up with the boxes of juices
But it’s not enough so I reach out again I grasp a fading light It’s a memory of happy times Dancing in the monsoon rain With my brothers in the flooding streets With overflowing drains And coming home to slip under the warm blanket And pray for the rain to continue But the school was never skipped, the sky always turned blue
However it’s not enough so I must reach out again to grasp a fading light It’s a memory of good ol’ times Standing beneath the shady tree, cursing out names Me with my rather competitive friends Throwing jabs and insults but taking it in all fun and games And the cruel school times diluted by the spirit Of carelessness, nonchalance and adolescence When the handholds of hours were actually for a minute
But why isn’t in enough, I can’t reach out anymore My feet are twisted, my arms are broken, I can’t do this no more But I run, one step turned into a hundred Breezing through all these fading lights To find the one, the dearest to mine
Is it my mother kissing my forehead? Is it the whisper that made a poet? Or the family trips with my brothers and cousins? Or the foolishness with friends without repercussions? No they’re not them, not the movies nor my video games I run, I run, I run but it’s all the same I can’t find the one Not the stories I created in my wandering head Not the pleasures of life, nothing lies ahead
It’s not enough, I can’t reach out anymore No amount of those fading lights Can return back the fading lights in my eyes As I lay bleeding in the middle of a road I can’t reach out anymore I can’t reach out anymore I can’t anymore
With a thunderstorm at your finger tips You've peeled the side of my neck with your lips I've never felt anything like this sin before I could feel the electricity run through my body As I realized I needed you.. Like my blood cells need my veins. Our throats always swollen from fear of yelling more, so we whispered lies as they burned the back of our tongues. Hoping to heal our decapitated hearts. Pounded by the butcher of love We were nothing if not completely raw those days. Now we wish for someone to hold us under the sheets while some ****** movie plays but we can't help being ***** little ****** and tasting everyone the world has to offer, and yet... I still can help but wish for sleepless nights by your side.
So I'll be doping myself again with pointless regrets, off of worthless memories that mean little more than the hateful meaning I give them. Now I'm just hanging.... bleeding. From the barbed wires of life.
I do not know what lies in store for us now Longing to fix this but I'm not sure how Your actions cut me so deep I'm still bleeding Time and time again I don't get what I'm needing But touch is addicting so I can't help but stay Though the way you treat me is not okay I want to start life with you and have a family It seems like you'd rather have fun than be with me I wish you desired the same things I do It's obvious you are more interested in starting something new Without you it is hard to enjoy anything at all Makes me sad yet I still look forward to every single call I believed we were soulmates You're 'the one' So many mistakes I wish could be undone I will never quit loving you although it brings me pain If I give one more chance Do not let it be in vain