is there any such thing
as too much ink
too many pens
than the human heart can fill?
the heart does nothing
but pump the blood that is necessary
to fill my fingers
to scrawl too much ink
with too many pens
on more paper
than such a treacherous organ deserves.
but the heart will get its ink
if it has to bleed dry in order to fill
the pens that it thinks it should have
to defile more paper
than any forest should have to give.
the heart will have what it wants
Her hair messy, plastered over her face by tears.
Her eyes red and puffy.
Her mouth open and screaming.
Her voice raw with pain.
Her throat dry and on fire.
Her arms feel anchored to her sides.
Her knuckles are bloody and swollen.
Her heart and her mind are bleeding with hope.
Her stomach feels like a can that's been crushed.
Her legs--think they're still there, she can't feel them.
a smooth going has no challenges
you will forever be in the un-knowing without these bandages
a little death brings a strength and a purpose
more will to try
it is in heartbreaks good music is made
the best of poetry crafted in sorrow shade
bleeding hearts paint the brightest portrait
so i guess tears and screams in art are more vividly said
Darkness, my Love
Bleeding into my lungs
Now I cry tears of ink
That you use to write my name
Into your moonlit shadow-heart
Your ice-cold chains,
They love me too much
Every kiss you print upon my face
Breaks the Iron biting through my flesh
She makes me feel so human
And I always feared mortality
But now the thing I dread the most
Is losing the life she gives to me
He makes me feel alive
Like I've never been before
Though his touch is cold as frozen bones
His heart burns bright and warm
stamped with melted wax
burning the edges that were once kissed by you
i feel the fire burning inside of my lungs
i cant take back the love i gave to you
i cant extinguish the flames beneath my glowing skin
the pain is already apart of me
im used to bleeding
but everyone think im ok and that it will all be ok
but never has it been ok since my heart left with you
now i feel the scar where you stamped your impression on me
im sure i wont be forgetting you for a while
im sure i dont want to forget you for a while
Lost, & no one is searching.
Not for me,
definitely not, I'm just an "Orphan" & so you seem to see.
I'm scared of the upcoming events.
I'm at a loss for words that are heavy—lead...
with the collection of what I can't prevent.
I, it's my expense.
I bend until I break because of things like this.
No one gets it,
No one will ever get this.
People I live with,
Say that I just need to believe in myself,
They don't get it,
I just write a lot, I just write...
I have a lot on my mind.
I hate the idea of moving.
of a suitcase makes me go blind.
I just can't spill my eyes
There's words I need to write, words become a monster in my life, by walking on my spine, pressed against the cracked skull & my peeling mind, they're all I can think.
They always want to fight.
So far away,
To a University
& Dorm-room stay,
I'm quite a fog, no definition-no importance—I fade
In the grey.
I fade away every damn day.
Take it all away?
"No, stop being negative", they will say.
It feels like another Foster home,
I just want to go,
dissappear - collapse into the undergrowth.
But inside, I've never been so low.
Insatiable, & ravenous the beast still knows, I've no control, it continues to grow.
Chewing through what I create for you.
Just stub my toe trying to hold.
On to the walls as they slip I fold.
Into myself, a mystery that gets dull & old.
I've lost again, on this, I've been,
My words know
Lost in interest to become a muddled grown.
I've no certainty,
Certainly, I cannot keep...
What I cannot see,
I cannot see where I'll be,
Who'll stay? Nobody...?
Who would want to stay in my life?—No one needs to say that I
Have become a joke,
& as I choke I know—I'm not funny...
Not even me
I guess it's okay,
They don't stay.
It's always the same.
My mind's leaving me.
Nothing will ever change.
—They never really did,
& slowly, through my fingers, they...
& my weak grip, white knuckles I wouldn't lie, I tried, everything, but it was my weakness that gripped.
I'm just going to have to get used to this.
I swear, I've been,
Lost, now I'm even more lost when
... I'm searching. I'm looking
From outside of myself—in.
My ribs open,
I'm an open book, but now I'm a loose-leaf—dropped with a pen,
I, to not be picked up again,
My skin is paper thin,
Go ahead take a look right in?
See what's really inside of me.
That my heart is just too big...
Maybe- my wounds will bring you to me?
I have so much love to give,
I cannot keep it contained in.
My heart is exploding,
I know it...
This life is no longer mine to live.
Why do I feel like this?
Everything is going great, it is.
Yet something is amiss,
I'm reckless, I try, & I end up defective.
I feel like I am obsolete.
Thinking about more than I can think.
I've been getting better at buying,
The lies between
~ the pages of a book without a spine- me,
getting better at hiding
that I'm just, weak,
Hung up by the seams,
A nail in the wall holding me
A puppet without strings,
The nail has a name, "PTSD".
Hang me in the hall,
Watch me drop down, & fall.
On my face in the heat
Watch my colors-fade-to-grey as they blend in the bleed.
A painting of melting color that drips, & drips,
No worth, I'm worthless...
I'm just that foster kid from the streets.
The one that no one needs,
I don't want to be,
I woke up, & don't want to be me,
I just want to be free.
Weaved in black and white
Embraced by the endless wind
Rising in its flight
Lost in an eternal sin
It flutters through the air
Camouflaged in ruby red
Like an unknown plague everyone dreads
Reminiscing old memories
Shedding wasteful tears.
It re-writes long forgotten diaries
Calling forth all possible fears
It'll fly through your heart,
And disrupt the already broken beat
Causing the fragile thing to wind up in defeat
Darting right through the veins
Scattering all the blood
Drowning the victim in its poisonous flood
Invading your mind and killing your heart
Causing sweet dreams to fall apart.
Evading the infection is an impossible task
Because it wears an angelic mask
Luring its victims through its sparkling eyes
Telling them sweet and hopeful lies
Flying through the empty gray sky,
There is a bleeding butterfly.