my pilot bulk aims for relief it pursues this via your romantic correction
in public arena a library stair (i never prior encountered you)
one step as foreigner the approach and upon a swift internal pendulum i make witless incisions hurried mended sentences directed stuns invasive i demand the compromise of your company hastily push at boundaries and you're not so accommodating
but on a further occasion same building we exchange a battering of conversation that then matures into barter-like use of language
despite my harassments a civil cultivation is unearthed tongue within this intelligence effort i lessen loosen my demanding appearance disregard my dignity a skin suit about the ankles
you're open in a vein of similarity you flesh out your own controls we've progressed quickly there's an aped conduct and flashing attitudes this time we share table space a nearby café
we have become quite unmanned repeated meet ups upon humours we adjust small habits and shake on perceptions where we overlap it becomes more an overlay of rationalities than resented promises
fast time passes and
i move into your living space i pick a wildflower and put it in the tiny vase on your dining table we agree on its colour we agree on a book to make our bible material we agree on the pitch of the tinnitus we share the clothes i am to wear i switch to your diet and you cease taking medications we sleep on your lawn like children and bring down the night sky for comfort
during the day we wear our sleep like a lubrication for our chores and go about our productivity in genuine partnership yet i feel we're just out of reach of some dark harm
we are an excellent sample pair it is all vital we grow stronger the more we quiz it recycling our ******* refine our agreements await further impulses and come closer to plug
so.. do we please love or simply indulge a parasite ?
Mental illness a parasite It's hard to spot Even harder to treat And many don't believe in it's existence Purely because they cannot see it It gnaws away at everything good inside you And leading you - if untreated - towards an inevitable death It's impossible to see But slowly Very, very slowly You can start to see it's effects when you look at the victim Little by little You begin to notice the damage And no matter how much good you put into the person The selfish thief of the parasite steals it away Before the person gets the chance to use it Mental illness is a parasite It's painful, stigmatised, dangerous and scary. So so so scary.
I can't shake the feeling, The feeling of submission in my own body. A creature has slipped through the cracks when at my weakest, It's burrowed under my skin Latched to my core. You can find it: Buried in my flesh, eating at me. I feel it. Swimming through my bloodstream, pumping poison. I hear it. Crawling in my thoughts. Parasite. Drinking my joy, spitting melancholy my vision is dark, Shrouded in misery. have you ever felt unsettled, alone in the dark, but not quite.
Personifying depression as a parasitical creature.
The shallow words you offer now will never begin to fill the deep chasms you've eroded into me. Me. My person. Into the heart, soul, bones, brain, sinew of Me. When we were still new you had already begun to chip away at Me. But you said with each raise of your maul “I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you.” No one but NO ONE had ever loved Me. before. I opened myself wide and you crawled inside to make yourself a home in Me. I was empty before then and still I am empty. According to Bukowski I should have let you **** Me.