I can't shake the feeling,
The feeling of submission in my own body.
A creature has slipped through the cracks when at my weakest,
It's burrowed under my skin
Latched to my core.
You can find it:
Buried in my flesh, eating at me.
I feel it.
Swimming through my bloodstream, pumping poison.
I hear it.
Crawling in my thoughts.
Parasite.
Drinking my joy, spitting melancholy
my vision is dark, Shrouded in misery.
have you ever felt unsettled,
alone in the dark, but not quite.

tower of oceans,
bug golden thriller,
blue denim body,
cinnamon lemon,
and old birthday rain.

The shallow words you offer now
will never begin
to fill the deep chasms
you've eroded into me.
Me.
My person.
Into the heart, soul, bones, brain, sinew of
Me.
When we were still new
you had already begun
to chip away at
Me.
But you said
with each raise of your maul
“I love you
and I would never
do anything to hurt
you.”
No one
but NO ONE
had ever loved
Me.
before.
I opened myself wide
and you crawled inside
to make yourself a home in
Me.
I was empty before then
and still I am empty.
According to Bukowski
I should have let you ****
Me.

I've had the money
I've had the power
But for you, honey
I couldn't even grow a flower

I've spread the vermin
Became a parasite
But for you, darling
I couldn't even set it all aside

You know my past
you've seen my past
but you've never been in my shoes.

You know my past
but you don't know my present or future.

You've only seen what I wanted you to see.
So don't act like you're me or my maker.

Your words were good intentions
but the message pierced through my heart
with doubts.

You've seen my scars
but you never felt my pain.

You're you & i'm me

I'm the author of my own story.
I'm writing my own life how i want it to turn out.

I'm doing things my way, not your way.

Parasites: they insinuate themselves
into your head, your heart, your art

They exist in the schizophrenic zone:
the lower right corner of your painting
looking for patterns that go to childhood,
the well rehearsed gestures that
allow them to take over,
plant the image in your agitated brain
that makes you doubt your love,
sign over your entire identity,
make you think that they can ****
with a scrape of peach fuzz,
until everything smells, feels,
tastes exactly the same-
a collision of **** and water
that knows money and not art
is the iron that smoothes
out all those creases.

The concrete jungle is the exam.
Their goal is to dominate it.

You enter through the black portal
searching for the thing you lost
in the right corner a long time ago-
the thing you call son or daughter-
tapping out SOS with your forehead
on the button on the wall
that connects with the light outside
until it reads SON to that distant brain.

Whether you **** someone or betray
your country doesn’t matter.
It is just the thing you keep
hidden  in the basement
that doesn’t know  
that all it needs to escape
is to walk up the stairs.

My love is a poison,
one you should not run from.
My love is a parasite,
one you should only accept.

I want to be by your side,
and for you to be by me always.
Standing behind you,
my arms trapping you in my embrace.

The air is chilling,
goosebumps are rising.
Your heart is racing,
my grip is tightening.

You can't leave me,
nor will I ever leave you.
You can try to run,
but I will always find you.

The figure in the shadows,
the feeling of being watched.
The alarm that soon appears,
is a beautiful look on you.

I know what you're scared of,
I use them to my advantage.
I know your secrets,
even the ones you never told.

I love you,
and the way you go crazy.
I love you,
and the way you scream.

You hate me though,
but that makes me love you more.
You call me terrible things,
and you're right about them.

I'm a parasite,
a virus that gets into your head.
Eating away all things sane,
until there's nothing left.

I, my dear,
am the embodiment of fear.

Connect me please, I can't be alone
It's so dark without my screen
A piece of you stuffed in a pocket
A disease aimed to please

Leach the life from your host
Spread your posts, gather the likes
Between the fingers rests a drug
Without it can only be death

Powers that be create anew
Upgrade to another addiction
Eyes will dry up from the attention
You'll never be alone.