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Jay M Mar 2019
How can one laugh,
Within times such as these?
Filled with sorrow,
A tale left for 'morrow,
Indeed, a tale for tomorrow.

Though I may laugh,
Though I may tell you I'm fine,
I'm loosing my mind.
I suppose it's already gone,
My heart in boundless pieces,
Whilst my soul fades away,
In the least, the fragment remaining.

- Jay M
October 18th, 2018
Jay M Mar 2019
Far away, long ago,
Times I wish not to remember,
Fading in and out of view,
Like stars, twinkling in the night sky,
There for seemingly forever,
Until you least expect it,
Until they go out,
Never to be seen again,
Soon forgotten,
As the hundreds before them.

- Jay M
October 1st, 2018
Found some of my old stuff.
Jay M Mar 2019
Through times of sorrow,
Much is discovered,
Heartstrings tighten,
Some snap,
Undone comes the heart,
Then, with it comes the mind,
Lastly, sometimes first off,
Comes the soul.

- Jay M
December 11th, 2018
Jay M Mar 2019
The times past won’t come back,
But it doesn’t mean they can’t be replayed,
Redone in the present,
Over and over,
Right before our very eyes,
Terrors arisen once more,
Surfacing long drowned out fears,
Emotions once thought forgotten,
Stronger than ever,
Forevermore lingering in our minds,
For ‘tis far too late,
The damage is done,
Price long overdue,
Now paid in pain.

Inside of our heads,
I’ll take it on,
Face it head on,
Shelter you from your demons,
Tearing me apart,
The way they wished to do you,
Tainting my soul,
Not yours,
Safely tucked away,
Barely tapped by the talons of theirs,
Of your demons,
Battling with not one,
But two warriors.

This pain is right beneath my skin,
Forced down, brought back up in times of shadow,
Fake it, the smiles and happiness,
All for my safety,
Keeping me within the confines of a normal life,
Unforeseen by all but me,
Alas, there are even some sorrows I am blind to.
Bring me to life,
For I am falling inside,
Left without love,
Kept in the dark,
Now to open my eyes to everything,
Living a lie,
Hardly anything left inside,
Driven by false pride,
Fabricated alliances,
Betrayal is in the air,
Only the true remain,
Vision clouded with fear,
Could they ever hear my screams,
Telling of my bewailment,
Residing deep within my soul,
All that is left, for that matter.

- Jay M
October 23rd, 2018
I went through
My darkest times
Dark thoughts
Failed to overcome me
Bright thought
Shed a light
Darkness a great
Background to shine
Stars can't shine
In sunshine
Adore dark sky
Displaying their
Twinkling shine
Diamonds scattered
Above all around
So wonderful to
Watch at night
I went through
My darkest times
Dark thoughts
Failed to overcome me
Bright thought
Shed a light
Hitting a century
I could survive!
I have died so many times.
I saw the light, I know it.
But I can't deny the dark.
Dying and darkness is needed to burst and make the light come through.
So I know the dark and I know the light but I haven't died enough times.
Not enough to be free.
Can a person ever know all the light and all the dark and still be white like the light?
In all this darkness I know I learned to love it.
And I think there's nothing wrong with it as long as it is right.
Like a darkness full of stars that means no harm.
Like a peaceful room to rest in and close your eyes.
I have died so many times.
So I know how to die but I don't like to die in the light.
In letters that form words, I have stored time for a future to come
In water that form tears, I have stored time for relief of hurt
In little actions that makes change, I have stored time to reap hope
In family I have lost time, I stored for a peaceful parting from this world
And I’m all the time I have been giving
So where does my time capsule call home
Vachaspathi Sep 12
Riding on the tides of the times;
Your smile was an absolute freeze.
One ex drove twice around the block
Maybe to see twice what he had
Or to see twice where I am
One ex came twice into the store
Once alone and once with his new love
One ex came alone
Maybe to show me he’s around
Or maybe I’ve got a chance
One ex came with her girl
But too many times for I to keep tract
Once with her mate and many times
With other lovers
On ex came alone
But I never knew she still had concerns
She came brave and filled
And other times she reminded me
I’m still loved
One ex slide through
Unannounced and uninvited
He strolled through my paths
Unbothered but allured
One ex never showed memories of being owned
And he made it clear that I was alone
One ex never judged
But never said she felt love
And now
I’m planting more seeds
To reap more ex’s of my own
And yes,
I’m the ex that called myself the *****
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