They both stopped my tears from running
Smiled fondly as they caught them in their tracks
Unable to stem the flow
Unwilling to let them fall
But my cause, you cannot be the cure

I
almost died then,
A newcomer to love's enchanting light,
With a soul untouched, a world yet to be seen,
I plunge headlong, into the ocean's heart,
Caution I flung away, with a defiant stroke,
**** I gargled with water, and spit,
Wisdom's counsel, I stubbornly ignored,
My freedom I traded, for love’s promised land,
In that embrace, bonds quickly took their hold,
Eight years a blink, and all I held was gone,
I lost myself, and all I thought I’d be,
The meanings I’d nurtured, turned into a wail.
The weight I carried, felt heavier than bone,
My first love lost, a wound that cut so deep.

A
beacon of hope, where darkness had remained,
My life’s compass recalibrated and true,
Sixteen years cemented, a friendship built to last,
A friendship etched in hues, that time could not erase,
A masterpiece of moments, and memories,
A spark ignited, in the heart’s inner core,
Two souls entwined, and wanting something more,
And yet, when push came to shove,
And the winds of wrath blew, our fragile bond did break,
Shattered like glass, our trust lay frayed,
The paths diverged, a story foretold,
A love grown cold, that warmed our hearts no more.
Again I teetered on the edge, of life’s abyss,
My second fall out of love, the abyss once more in sight,
A second blow, extinguishing what felt right.

A
gainst the storms fierce howl, I bravely fought,
A miracle of sorts, a twist of fate’s design,
A vibrant verse of friendship, in colours so bright,
Reigns of laughter, echoing through the months,
A bond of trust, forged in time’s own fire,
My Heart, once empty, sang a sweet tune,
Where others faltered, we weathered every storm,
My third love had arrived, a welcome, sweet surprise.
With each shared moment, our hearts grew close and warm,
On days of sunshine, Joy filled every space,
And in the moon’s soft glow, we found love’s warm embrace.
On days of darkness, our words became our swords,
When whispers turned to screams, our fragile peace would shake.
Then silence fell, a chilling, empty space,
A vacant chair, a love I can’t replace,
Gone in the blink of an eye, a whispered name,
Leaving me hollow, consumed by grief’s dark flame.
Betrayal struck, and shadows followed close,
The vows we made, now broken and undone,
On the precipice of void, once more I stood,
My fragile hold on life, almost destroyed.
For this love’s return, my heart will still believe.

I see the endings in their birth,
The wilt curled in the bloom,
The echo in the first soft word
That hums of pending gloom.

Yet on I go, with knowing steps,
Down paths that twist and burn
Not for hope, nor fate, nor faith,
But just to feel the turn.

It’s not some tragic grandeur,
No noble, aching art
Just a quiet urge to prove myself
The fool I knew at start.

In the flow of my words, I found love.
Through these fogged eyes, I saw you.
Through this hated heart, I saw yours.
It was ever so radiant, so genuine, and so divine.
It lit up my world; from the darkness, I awoke.

I was butterflies when you saw flies.
I was lost when I saw you smile.
I ate up my words when they made you cry.
I was ready to eat myself whole
If it meant making you mine.

Then everything choked.
The world lost its color.
I lost the voice I never had.
Your silence made the dead of night recur.
I lost the only song that kept my heart astir.

In this flow of words, I found guilt.
I found heartbreak, and I found everything bleak—
Everything that I was never meant to build.
So I silenced the voice of my cries
That hummed when they saw the gold in your eyes.

In these days of melancholy,
My world feels dull, lifeless, and blue.
My mind races to the days when we talked,
So effortlessly, so full of vigor and hearts glued.
Now I see only the emptiness
And the coldness of a smoke-choked heart

But even in the quiet, you linger near,
A ghost of love I hold sincere.

Lost
not in this world,
but from it.
I walk,
one foot after the other,
toward a place
I cannot name
or maybe
there is no place
at all.

Alone,
with echoes of memories
that feel like wind
soft,
and then gone.

They call to me
the good old days
but when I turn
to look,
I see only
shadows
curling in a vacuum,
and a silence
too thick to breathe.

The past is hollow.
The future,
faceless.
And the present
just a corridor
with locked doors
and no windows.

My heart still beats,
perhaps,
but it no longer sings.
It whispers
in tired thumps,
like a bird
that forgot
why it ever flew.

I am here
yet fading,
like light
dissolving
in the arms
of night
that never comes.