I always say I feel free
when no one knows my name.
But after a year here, it gets old.
Now I say summers for love.
Love for the vinyl on my turntable,
for silent nights,
for frolicking in fields of grass,
for hair flowing in the wind,
and for myself.
I’ll head into summer alone
and find happiness alone.
In the blistering Texas sun
metal rods will burn skin
and drops of sweat
will spoil bare vanilla perfume.
Friends will leave
while kids play in the street.
But who can grow without pain?
my heart will never allow me
to grow without it.
So when that final bell rings
marking the end of our time,
I’ll choose between staying
to watch strangers come and go,
love and leave, smile and forget
wishing that were me
hugging my friends farewell
or leave silently.
Letting the sway of my hips,
the rhythm of each step I take,
and the small smile on my lips
say my goodbye.
To trust summer's promise of freedom.
This poem is about being shackled by loneliness. After many months of watching your peers live and love without you, the time has come for change. As summer arrives, the fear of sinking deeper into loneliness clouds your mind, but you choose strength. Forcing yourself to find beauty in the little things even through the roughness.