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Let the demons have their fun,
snap my fingers one by one.
I'll still pour on daddy's cologne
so I don't feel so **** alone.
Sometimes I pray to slide right into a wall
as I am flooded by the sound of it all.
If I could turn the page
something to rearrange,
where my life went wrong
for now, just play along.
Turn my head
you are all I dread.
May a firm hand
take my back
and break it.
I'll reason, i'll admit
only think of things that hurt.
Drag me through the dirt,
discover me a filthy women
don't take your ear to listen.
I, savage, will rip it from you,
pieces; break me into.
Andrew Nov 29
Donald Trump claims torture is effective
He says, “Believe me, it works”
But if somebody were to torture him
They could get him to say torture doesn’t work
So perhaps torture is effective
But to what end?
I just wish he’d keep that in mind
... Or maybe I don’t
My soul is a dark and gloomy place
It lacks all sense of beauty & grace
A room with an entrance but no escape
It takes on a small and lifeless shape.

Read more at http://www.******-in-oncology.com
Confidence is something I seem to lack
The weight of what others think sits there on my back,
There’s nothing I can cling to to make it go away
Mirrors are my worst enemy when I think I look okay.

My face becomes hot I think I’m going to cry
Now I don’t want to be center of attention I think I’d rather die,
Just think what they could be thinking or what they might say
Rather than take the chance I think I’ll walk away.

I’d rather be by myself and just blend in with the crowd
Times like this I keep my mouth shut, I’ll be noticed if I’m loud,
I’ll just sit in my desk quietly until 2:30
Then I’ll race to my locker and it will just be me.

But I am the worst out of all the people who think
I scan every compliment and analyse every wink,
I don’t know why I let all the things get to me
What happened to the beauty I used to see.

The beauty of what I was, no matter what anyone thought
Now’s a faded memory all the positive I forgot,
Now when I walk down the halls I glue my eyes to the floor
And I try not to get stuck holding open the door.

I know it must seem sad how I torture myself
But what others think first and myself on the shelf,
I wish I had more confidence and didn’t care what others think
Maybe then I wouldn’t consider myself the weakest link.

I wish people would think before they acted and wouldn’t break my chain
If people could think about the outcome then I wouldn’t be in so much pain,
I wouldn’t think about what I wear and that I stick out from the crowd
I wouldn’t have to think twice if I wanted to be loud.

I could be as free as the sky above me & the sea below
Than if I’d never think because I wouldn’t know,
If you could support me and not criticize my style
Maybe then I could return it with a smile.
Thorns Nov 7
When he looks at me like that it's torture
It's that kind of look like you can never be with me
It's my own personal ****
I'm left there suffering
He loves it when I'm hurt
It amuses that sick *******
He loved me once and dealt with this too
But not as bad
This is torture
Please end my suffering
End his sick happiness
Your face more blurred
Than the paint
On my palette

My colours reflect
And patience
Yours reflect

The same pain
Inflicted on you
By the world
Inflicted on me
By your hands
           More intoxicated
Than your breath.
This is inspired by Van Gogh's pain palette that is in a glass case in an exhibit at the Rijks museum in Amsterdam.
i try to push these thoughts to the back of
my mind
my mind is thinking of you all
the time
the time isnt right for
Latifah Nov 4

Please forgive me
For the person that I have become
Is not someone to be proud of
But your absence
Is a kind of torture
That I never tasted
And I can’t swallow
It chews me alive
At night you fall to your knees
You beg for my worn out and stained forgiveness

You smother me with kisses and a spider suspends her body above my head
Black and long and attentive

A pen punctures a hole in my bag and ink bleeds all over my quilt and carpet
Blotches of dark blue distract me from the heat escaping your mouth
You whisper I love you as if trying to convince yourself that you do

The sky is foggy and the full moon lingers like a ghost
She is full and radiant and all-knowing

The spider and the moon humm me to sleep
You grasp desperately for me
I turn to dust

It’s at night when I rub the forgiveness out of my tear ducts
No more sacrifices
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