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Nomkhumbulwa Oct 2023
Twenty years ive known you,
Shocking as this sounds,
Back then I was a different person
My identity not yet found

I remember it well,
Meeting you online,
Intruiged by another culture
You were the mysterious one online!

I was obsessed with Geography
Knew every flag of the world
Spent hours staring at maps
I would never get bored

I knew I never belonged
In the land I was living then
So the atlas was an escape
From the confusion since I was ten

You spoke a different language
From the mysterious side of the world
I was fascinated by and drawn to
This different side of the world

It was an honour to meet you
I felt I was so lucky!
I now had a Russian friend
Although his English hard to comprehend

This made it just more interesting,
It showed language didnt matter
We were still able to communicate,
Even by postal letters!

I was young, insecure,
Brainwashed too at that time,
So this escape was a relief
The mysterious person online!

You temporarily rescued me
From the weirdness of my home
I dont have many fond memories
But meeting you was one

I bought a book because of you,
Called "learn Russian in 3 months"
I was drawn to the Cyrillic alphabet,
But only now 20 years on can I use it!

Russian in 3 months was hilarious,
It was never going to work
Three years yes maybe,
Thats what the title should be!

But such was your desire for English
Your skills overtook mine,
Now im surrounded by Russians,
....I wish Id learned more at the time!

By the time you came to visit
Id escaped to Scotland,
I was somehow free,
Although not yet entirely

The brain is great at deleting
Large parts of my life
But you kept all the postcards and letters
I was so surprised!

These things are like treasure,
Reminders of lost time,
Its good to regain the happy parts
And leave the rest behind

The phone call still makes me laugh
It took you so long to say each word
Even my cruel mother gave up
Trying to wait for the words

I remember the day so well
She called me to the phone
Told me theres a message
Then she left me alone!

Weird behaviour for my mother
The perplexity on her face
As she listens to the message
From a mysterious place

Now twenty years on
You've rescued me again
I got myself in a pickle
And you came up with a plan

Most people didnt care
Those I chose to tell
Except an angel, Patricia,
Her Nigerian name too long to spell

She didnt even know me
I met her through a friend
A friend from Burundi,
Now living in Scotland

In my hopeless depressing reality
Sat in a place called Gillingham,
I spoke to you most evenings
You again allowed me to escape

I looked forward to reading your writing,
Learning more about your life,
Now with your improved English
I wanted to read it all night

You knew I was desperate to leave,
And you suggested Armenia,
A country I had heard of
But shamefully only little

Meeting you in Armenia
Was the best decision by far
The best decision I had made,
Since being torn from Africa

I knew very little about it,
And yet I was ready to go!
It just shows how desperate I was
To escape from where I never planned to go

I have to say, you saved me,
If only from myself
And of course from the NHS
Who probably would have killed me

They say things happen for a reason
The universe makes a plan,
So I guess if I wasnt deported,
I might not have seen you again

You have changed my life for the better,
Although you say you dont do charity,
You even left me with your bank card,
As well as a way to make money

You may not see yourself as kind,
But that is all I see,
And I have always loved you
Ever since I was twenty :)
SelinaSharday Jun 2023
Cry,-sob, wail, shed tears, snivel,
quall, lament, bewail, bemoan, moan,
howl, keen, whimper, weep over, lift up the voice, complain.
I was out walking, just glancing
around in a scenic and colorful(online) place
I walked into a (online) museum.
Inside were huge displays
being awesomely displayed in colorful arrays.
Some with dark shadows of greys.
Some with much to say some with very little.
After walking and gazing, viewing,
smiling being so excited I went into a carnival zone.
What a wonderful place to stumble upon.
Music and festivities so much for the eyes to see.
So much to explore even ****** creativity.
There were games that brought out the Little girl in me,
I started to make some friends among this exciting place,
people of all sizes and colors.
Time would come to go back home,
but often into this new found place
I would come play and rome.
There were times some would just follow me around,
some would tell me what a lovely friend they had found.
Yet I always kept my feet on the ground.
Life has taught me one day those you think
are friends won't be around.
They just leave with an empty sound.
Even when its happiness you share,
some will become jealous and choose not to be there.
Some are spiteful and choose not to play fairly.
I tried to spread myself like love around
never was mean nor murmured an ugly frown.
I set up my own unique boutique and
said come one come all. Let us be friends
let us share. As a friend I really do care.
Coming and going always knowing
that outward my heart was pouring.
Somedays the show was boring some
days it was exciting, mentally challenging.
There came a day some bully from
no where knocked me to the ground.
Felt that tear start to wail.
But I held on like a little girl who's
gotta be strong and I adventured on.
Some friends asked things I couldn't give
so they would began to privately strike with silent meaness.
Tears started to mount.
I put my heart into my own show
began to feel good and to grow in this great wonderful show.
Many came to read what I'd proclaim,
many came to sup from my cup and greedily drank it up
and only a few would come and say why thank you.
While the takers, the easily shakers,
the down right haters came and
quickly went never a moment spent.
To build up, or lift up felt you had to be quickly sliced up.
Or your somehow taking from their show,
they forget God gives blesses and multiplies.
There's no reason to be haters or spies.
I felt their jabs and stabs hoping I'd be a failure.
Most failed to be the friend they claimed to be.
They join your team and fail to simply post.
The tears Fell
Thought to just hang on to a few
close friends from this museum within.
After all on the outside I had my life.
The more that you do some came to bully too.
Some just up and walk off leaving you no clue.
The rains came winds blew look
around no ones still standing with you.
A blow, in the storm a twist to my arm,
a knife in my back, a slap in the face,
a bitter taste, I'm lost in this race.
How much more do I take?
This used to be such a friendly beautiful place.
Just make some new friends
Tears are falling I can't hold back,
Cry,-sob, wail, shed tears, snivel,
quall, bewail, bemoan,
moan, keen, whimper,
weep over, lift up the voice, complain.
This is why I know what it is
To Weep
In the Virtual Museum
Some of FB, Insta, Twitta, A few of them.
Sorta gaming Social Oceans.
Beware swims..
By SelinaSharday of S.A.M All Rights Reserved 07
DISCOVERY, social media's online findings
Yvonne Han May 2023
I’ve been snapped out of the void before
Endless relenting overthinking never did me any good
But with ego
I stubbornly persist

On an overground tram
Heading back from a casual birthday party
Casual by default since her mum insisted
On jack in the box games and a caterpillar cake at nineteen

I told her all about the online echo chamber
For my newfound identity
For which she held the same
Did she have these same experiences
These strangers liked to insist?

I will never forget how she so cool told me no
And like a slap in the face I was reminded
Of the futility of my own overthinking.
There didn’t need to be some grand explanation
For my cosmic being in the universe
I just had to exist
I wrote this on a tram in Croydon.
Benzene Aug 2022

From first Hii ,
To waiting for your reply .
The bond which has developed,
is enough to fit in the envelope.

From long lasting talks to,
a great person be known to,
It's the time which nurtures the memories,
who knows we have nothing in the galleries.

Many may come and go,
But few remains forever from ago.
And those footprints of yours and mine
Can’t washed away by time.

A beautiful heart of yours ,
Hard to find flaws .
Be the same in life always,
If we ever meet after in the midways .
This is for all those who found their special ones
on a random website/app.
Jasmine Jul 2022
I was simply shuffling my feet through life
Trying to figure out my left from my right
It took me only a moment and a glimpse
Into your eyes ...
I'd seen your face before,
And your smile.
It wasnt love at first sight,
It was loving my first sight.
And I loved it so much
I stayed the night.
WitheredWings Jun 2022
I am done being measured by being without a man. I am so done with dating. I am getting to a point where - remembering their information?
Darling, show me you're here to stay first.
I am done remembering facts and whole pageturner conversations.
I might put it in when I feel like it.

Dating is horrid. Spend weeks apping and talking and sharing and caring only to part after what, date two? Three?
No, I am done.

But yes, that is the paradox. I want love.
I want THAT adventure too.
But I am done begging god for love or for fate to find me a person.

I AM DONE BEING BUILT UP, WRECKED AND HAVING TO REBUILD AFTER SOME OX DECIDES TO TRY WITH ME. I am DONE with indecision. With coldness, with superiority, with children, with babies on the side, with leftovers.

Because that is what these men have tasted like to me. Leftovers.
And I am a ******* snack, a meal at a Michellin restaurant. A ******* well-rounded, thought through, social, creative and sportive prize.

So who the **** are you to bring me down.
Online dating annoys me
Katie Feb 2022
My life is one born of instinct;
I act, I do not think.
Your accusations are indistinct,
but rational.
How could I possibly argue your truth?
Still, I feel my heart sink.
Perhaps I'm too lost in my youth.
My intrinsic patterns proved fatal.

Calling me a prepubescent child felt unneeded though.
Tøast Jan 2022
One more swipe.
One more swipe across one more greasy face.
My finger slips, skips down the page.
My finger pauses at your gaze.
The taste of your smile as it wonders through
my maze.
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