They say you can't fall anymore than Rock Bottom
But I've painfully crashed a thousand times, and
melted into the Earth's Core; filling the cracks
With liquefied remains of what I became...a failure.

My broken pieces caught in alluring lies
and tangled Bed Sheets

Rock Bottom is every bed
A boy has invited me in
Because I could not accept
God's knock on my chest.

Rock Bottom is every cigarette
I've shakenly put between my lips
Because I could not let
God's words fill me.

Rock Bottom is each step away
from my Body
Because my soul-my remains
Are left alone above someone's covers.

My soul is locked away in a room
I can never return to.
It's been captured in his bed.
So I fill myself with broken glass
hoping the reflection of what once was
shines through.

I drown myself in self-deprecation
Praying that a form of baptism
Will return my soul to me...

But it wont.
Not until I open my chest,
Not until I fill my lungs
with scripture.

My soul was captured
Because God told me
Who the Devil was...
Charismatic, body like a snake, and
Eyes filled with love...maybe lust?

But the thought of happiness captivated me
And comfort was found in his arms...
I ignored God- calling him a fool.

Now, I must heal and find my soul
Because I didn't listen the first time.

I open my chest
My lips spill with alcohol soaked apologizes
And He still holds me,
Cares for me,
He has not Forsaken me...
like I had Forsaken myself.
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
n0r 2h
Dirty Together
as we Wade
into muddy Water
proclaim The Deeper Magic

Be True
to what weave learned

Be True
to our humanity

Be True
To What Has Called

Us To
Editing of the 2017 Notre Dame Valedictorian Speech by C.J. Pine.

If you loved Michael Curry’s Royal Sermon I know you’ll appreciate Pine’s
Preached by priests and family and friends and teachers:
But that changes when people choose their true love,
Mommy and Daddy told me they’ll love me no matter what
But why can’t everyone else’s parents think and treat their child the same?

Since when does the holding of two peoples hands repulse a religion?
Can someone explain to me how a hug is a new boundary crossed once people are made aware of the real reason they hug?
It is no longer a hug of friendship but of love
It is no longer shared by only a man or a woman
Or a man and a woman of the same skin color.

Melanin of the skin declares who you should love
The prince and the princess in your fairytale books tell you which gender you belong with
Why do people condemn those who fully express themselves?
Your God declares your love
Forget your heart or your mind
A book written far beyond our time labels love

Love no longer needs a label
But to others
Love must die and so shall the people who love;
The people whose love does not go according to your God and your mind.
Hot chocolate no longer tastes like chocolate

Tea gets me as drunk as wine

I get about as high on cigarettes as I would rosmerry or thyme

The clocks in my house have stopped ticking

Though I never stop to check

There's a litter of stray kittens, outside my door, on the front step

Although time has stopped passing
And the gods have fallen asleep

I still find myself laughing
That I've wept to much to weep
I’ve always considered sin is to avoid
the beauty, perhaps to prevent flowers
to bloom, never to hold a conversation,
never to look inside, never to meditate,
perhaps to what I thought sin is, is not
written. Perhaps it’s inside of me. The
duality of everything. Starting a riot
with oneself, duck taping one’s real character,
I’d rather learn to what I can take, when
I finally cross over and pray in the meantime,
that both Heaven and Hell will let me in.
And the prays are howling to the moon, sobs
to drown the ocean, dreams in the sleeping
Visions. That love to make any other love
seem so irrelevant. Praying for everything
to simultaneously happen now, except the
Forgiveness of sin. Feel each word to
each poem ever written.  
(knowledge variable)
Ya Boi 23h
I’ve lost you to passing infatuation

To a trap designed for you

A trap your playing into

Every meeting was articulated to swoon

His upbringing was a genuine obligation to a missing god

And he was incubated in his cage perfectly

Please for the love of me drag yourself out of his unpromising hive

You have no idea the sickness that comes from a sweet innocent little mind
The grass is greener on my side,
this time
and it's freshly mowed,
releasing its scent into the noses
of the kids running up and down the streets,
screaming their praises to the god of summer,
and begging for just a little bit more time.
Steam rising from the burning pavement,
the smell of cookouts
the warm air
springing life to the city around me.

Riding in my car with all the windows down
screaming along to Say Anything
and feeling alive with the glory of love.
All of this creeping up on me
surprising me with its inviting grin,
everything is funny now
because all of this
always leads me
straight back
to you.

I dig my toes into the cold dark dirt
thinking to myself these words
that could never encompass
the taste of the atmosphere around me,
finally wrapping itself in a flannel blanket.
I feel like a broken record
scratching at the same chorus,
trying adjectives to describe the way
today smells like better times,
but I'm determined
and I'll keep trying
to make these times even better.
I have a little cousin.
7 years old.
Very intelligent.

She asked me a question today directly related to her fathers death.
She asked.
If God is real why does he let bad things happen to people?

I was puzzled. Puzzled that she asked me of all people that question.

I looked at her.
As her little eyes filled with tears and I said.

“God is real and so is the devil. The devil can latch on to other people and cause them to do bad things. But that’s when God comes in. And God brings the light in when the dark seems inescapable sometimes you just have to wait a little for the light to find it’s way back.”

Tears rolled down my cousins face. And the whole room got quiet. Everyone even me bursting out in tears.

                            With love,
A glimmer breaks through the clouds,
A single beam of white light drifts
through the skylight above
As I lay with back to carpet,
watching the fan lazily rotate.

The fan wobbles and creaks,
it’s paint chipped and weary.
Chains dangle below, rattling
And the blades blur in rotation.

I do not blame the ones of before
for seeing a single hopeful beam of light
and dropping to their knees in prayer,
tears dripping down in the face of
a savior, any savior.

The layers behind eyes flitting with
joy, eyes that dart about, drinking in the scene
to that of unseeing blank, wide mouthed
as if in awe of the world above,
stuck in their ways for eternity.
What if Thomas Edison never invented the light bulb?
Think of the darkness the world would be in.

What if Mary Anderson never invented the windshield wiper?
Think of how many more people would have died in car accidents.

What if Hans Lippershey never invented the telescope?
Think of the unknown planets and stars we would never known  about.

What if God never invented me and you?
Think of where our love would have never gone.

                             With love,
Next page