He grabs me by my hair
And gives me quite the scare
And tells me that I’m his to keep
Backed up against the wall, I weep

I fear for my life but he says one day I’ll be his wife
So I guess it’s time to start lovin’ on him
Every day of every week, crying on the floor and between the sheets

Always making a scene
He can be cool, he can be mean
But my heart don’t mean anythin’
Because I’m his beauty queen

Crying in my Summer dress
Asking to be blessed
By a God I don’t believe in

‘Cause I’m his favourite dolly
Spins me ‘round and ‘round and ‘round
Violently dances me around the room
And drags me all the way downtown

‘Cause I’m his favourite Candy
And while he screams and drinks his Brandy
I’m writing apology letters to make him feel better
And I only feel blessed when we’re both undressed
Because lust and desire will put out his fire

He said I was Hollywood beauty and timeless grace
But that don’t feel right with the marks on my face
He says he adores me so I let him explore me
Whenever, wherever, he needs

I am his canvas, his hands are the brush  
The colours he paints on me feel like a sugar rush
He gives me some blush
and some crimson red lips
The metallic taste seeps in my mouth
And stains the front of my blouse

‘Cause I’m his favourite barbie
Likes to dress me up, and take me to town
I’m beauty, I’m grace, I cake on a new face
But it all comes melting off at night when I sob in my nightgown

But he kisses my wounds
And dances me ‘round the room one more time
Mr Rage, Mr. Love, my chaotic turtle dove
As we’re dancing I can see the heavens above
and there is no presence of time

Drink your wine, treat me like swine,
I’m scared for the future while he’s sippin’ on time

Lay me down tonight, decorate me with pearls
Whisper in my ear, tell me I’m your favourite girl
And that you’ll do anything in the whole wide world
To win my forgiveness
I don’t want this, but I deserve this.  

Kiss me, tell me i’m your peach, don’t shake me, or make me cry.

Please everyone, if you see my colourful face, please don’t ask me why.

We buried ours
And they buried theirs
Then it started all over again

This is my lament for London and its young lives lost:


Did you see a tarnished surface
that made you look again
Was it reflected in the lyrics
in the anthem of the Thames

Was the traffic still diverted
Had the Borough lost good men
Were mothers dry from crying
at the anthem of the Thames

Did you see the children drowning
Was the tide too high from rain
Were the barges towed in silence
past the anthem of the Thames

Were the songs drowned out by shouting
Did the words turn boys insane
Did the drum beats beat past midnight
to the anthem of the Thames

Was it echoed through the arches
Did the shadows hide the stains
Did the wounded walk til morning
through the anthem of the Thames

Will you still be here at day break
Do you claim this grey domain
Will you pray for restoration
of the anthem of the Thames

Do you get me?

No shame, you know.
Just small self doubt
a violent chin
and contention for identity
for happiness
for unafraid space
with a smile and Stanley.

Do you get me?

bullets spew from your foaming lips
screaming words coated with steel tips
your hateful malice gunned them down
your madness put them in the ground
you’re like a killer who stalks the shadows
you’re like the hangman who prepares the gallows
you prowl the steaming abyss beyond the light
committing fraudulent crimes out of envy and spite
like a snake sending its venom straight to the heart
your poisoned ravings are tearing humanity apart
like the carnival barker who speaks so he can hear
your mindless words reflect your trembling fear
you’re the master of fiction—forever playing the star
when the final curtain falls, no one will know who you are …

I think back to when it happened,
to that beautiful day that suddenly became so dark
The day when it all happened,
the day he destroyed who I was
Leaving me shattered.

I fought. I cried.
But it didn't matter how loud I was.
Nobody came to help me.

I still wake up crying,
Freeze when I see him,
And I’m still scared,
every **** day.

I still think I see him,
even while I'm safe at home.
I close my eyes and tell myself it’s going to be ok
But I can't help but feel him.

A year later I still feel him.
His grip on my wrists, the smell of alcohol on his breath,
The weight of his body pressed against me as I tried to get away

He just continued,as I cried.
It didn't matter how loud I screamed,
Nobody came to help me.

There's an accordion door  
And now he's back  
He's here

But he is always here  
It's every birthday party  
Every Christmas  
Every ******* Sunday  

There's an accordion door  
And now he tells me it's normal
I'm special
This is our secret  

Cuz I thought family
Was supposed to be safe
I have been told  
That family is safe  

There's an accordion door  
And I'm back  
upstairs at my grandma's  
With my cousin  

Family is my safety net  
So what am I supposed to do
When my safety net strangles me

Young hands fumbling
through inherent motions
with graceless inexperience.
He's never done it before.

Put on a
brave face
to mask
the panicked breathing.

Sweat rolling in waves
down an unwrinkled brow.
Heart thumping loud
to escape a hairless chest.

An adolescent
still wet
behind
the ears.

His body has outgrown
the blissful freedom
of childish naivety.
Ungainly limbs,
programmed to a new purpose,
usurp that serenity.
Silent expectation.

The time
has come.
He fires
his gun.

"You're a man now, son."

But he's learnt to **** a man,
before he's even so much as
kissed a girl.