My everything is your nothing My memory is your territory Do I miss the bliss Or do I miss what’s unfinished Hold me one last time So I can hold onto us forever This time . Half my bed is cold Half my heart is deserted Half my soul is split Tell me how I become whole I’ve dug I’ve laid Tell me how I don’t fit in this hole I’ve graved . Am I the monster Am I the hero Am I the reason The reason for you No I’m the reason Solitary Has company . I want a call I want a friend I want a new But I know I know the answer Is bitter more then sweet . I’m sorry I’m sorry I did this I didn’t want this
In the search of something more- Several doors I closed Only to be left Locked in a room on my own accord All entrances blocked Telling myself I will escape one day Except I do not accept reality- Destined to be isolated from the world.
When he left me his soul was gone for me and his body was still there. His anger was new his distance was new and his lack of touch too I was so confused. I was pregnant, then a mum. Untouched, the silence dumb. Bereaved, intense loss Husband won't touch me there's only frost. How do I even speak of this? he's doing the chores but there's such an abyss. Two years more and I realise depression brought this demise. Fool, it took me too long to understand what was wrong but this knowledge never did bring back his song. He remained, gone.
Here's me, trying to process and express how isolating and devastating my husband's depression was for me. I didn't know what it was for so long. He never came back to me, and I don't have any more give now. I will focus forward **