“You are not an artist.
You are not an artist.”

        What photos must I shoot
        How many cigarettes must I smoke

It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds

Summer vibes feel like radiation

Use this alcohol to eradicate
The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’

My phone is on airplane mode

My ambition is floating - as a feather might -
Down to the depths

I cannot finish my own sentences

Bury my expectation with my religion

        And it’s funny
        Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic
        confrontation
        But, alas - I do day-dream
        Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four
        times
        And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious
        frames
So…

I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same
Could not fantasize asking
Your hand in mine

Oh how I wish to cry
To sob in any light so long as you are in sight
Someone to reassure me, that - yes
“There is an end to the night.”

But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company.

Kick me off the team.
I do not know what I need.
If I could lead, as I once did.

But I have left concern in the refrigerator
With empty bottles & cans
Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity  
Won’t you reliquinish me of it ?

For I have sipped the poison of honesty
Regretfully it tastes like honey
Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating
Keep treading
Exhausted I swim
against a relentless undertow
gasping for breathe
while the brackish depths
beckon below
with the promise of sleep
Flickering visions
as I cycle between
the raging storm and icy winds above
and the cold dark silence beneath
Each time I surface
Another loved one
friend or family
is gone
drowned or rescued
and each time my heart breaks
and my resolve weakens
To surface once again
For soon I will be alone
with nothing
but the raging storm above
and the bowels of uncertainty
below
When you have a secret
You want to tell someone
Because if you dont
It will engulfe you
Eat you up
Isolate you in its cage.
But you cant
Its a secret
Because theres no one you can tell.
So you have to let it engulfe you
See the wall that separates you from everyone else
If only
You could
Call for
Help
Little kids are so eager about secrets but as you grow they arent as fun anymore i guess hehe '^^
i sit here in silence
not a single word is spoken
all my emotions are broken
and i can’t help but feel
like i’m by myself
not a person in sight
alone.
This is just a thing...
Umi May 14
Hey do you see me, I am on the side of the road,
I am forgotten yet I was part of this street long ago, now I am but a little figment of imagination, yet I am not none existent at all.
Do you want to talk to me or are you losing your mind ?
Take me with you, I will be your backup, your solid motivation,
Fragments of feelings are a fading memory which you seem to fail to remember, then wouldn't it make sense to keep them not as dearly,
Maybe if you were alike me, stop thinking and start being free,
A clear white mind with nothing to fear, empty with nothing to hear,
They are gone they can't fade away, a hollow heart has nothing to say
You are like me now isn't that nice, you have broken free from all lies,
Now like a little rock, light enough to be carried by the wind, you wander aimlessly through this world, isolated from humanity,
It is like they don't even understand that you are there, it is likely they don't care of your fate, nor do they seem to worry of what happened.
But don't worry either, talk to me, your little figment of imagination,
Because now you are like me and know what I feel like..
You are but a little rock on the side of the road.

~ Umi
Umi May 10
Silent sorrow,
Cornered within the room built on the oceans very bottom,
Layers upon layers of darkness are a blanket to get used to, yet I am not alone; after all this world is filled with wonderful, various life.
Swarms of jellyfish, serene and clear shine off a little light through their glassy, slimy yet delicate bodies as they travel across my view,
In this world, the pressure is squeezingly tight, unforgiving and cruel,
But it amazes me to see, how little these animals mind about that,
The silence is cut by a distant cry, sounding awfully distorted to my poor little ears, which of course like the rest of my body, do not fit in.
On further notice, I gaze at the playful sight of a little whale and it's mother not far apart, their language, is astonishing yet so majestic,
Gathering the pieces of an old, dim dream I still cannot move out of my prison, yet my thoughts do not fade, the hope of being part of it.
After all, I am not human but, this world would roughly welcome me,
Never will I be able to return again, as a demon who was sealed away into this blue expanse of sea, I didn't belong to humanity anyway...
I can savely say, it is but a sea made of pure tranquility.

~ Umi
Leo May 5
The fly flies so the spider may dine,
The bird thinks that the spider tastes fine,
For the bird the cat puts it all on the line,
The cat, now happy, makes his owner feel divine.

The owner, for his cat, works a job and gets paid,
The money is given for the owners aid,
In keeping the customers coming and the corners unfrayed,
And the patrons are pleased and happy they stayed.

As the good mood rises, good deeds are the norm,
As valets and bookkeeps remain on form,
Farmers keep their cows happy and away from the storm,
Now around their waste the flies again swarm.

There's this wonderful cycle, life breeds life, keeps it fine,
All men and all women away from tirade,
But as you lay happy, safe and warm,

I find I have no place in this cycle of life.
Most of my silly ideas stay that way, but I'm in such a bad place I may as well write it down.
Unknown Apr 1
no one bothers to ask if you are okay,
if you are feeling sad.
no, they just say
"why are you always sad?"
or
"stop being so sad all the time, you're making me feel down!"
they say with a snicker.
no one bothers to care why I am sad,
they just look at me with disgust and walk away
even my own friends
even my own family.
no one bothers to help when I am reaching out for a hand,
when my demons are drowning me.

n o
o n e
b o t h e r s

to help a broken soul.
to those who feel as though no one cares about their emotions. to those who simply need a helping hand.
fingertips tapping upon
translucent glass.
blurred skin on the opposite side,
pink, pressed up blotches of
arm and leg,
lip and ear,
hair and head.

alone on the other side,
lack of colour and lack of light.
watch them through the see-through wall,
just the swing of a bunched up fist
could break the fall.

the fall of light within the room,
the dim sound of laughter
from the other side,
the lack of voice that resides

on this side.
waiting is silent,
solitary in a cell of glass confinement.

an hour, another,
more time slips past,
when the room gets darker
so does the glass.
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