What do you drink to get the purple out of my tongue? What do you take to forget? The picture of white lady on the mirror chanting ****** mary. The video of being spanked. The layout of the patterns. It is all made into a trail. Wishing to cloak, I thought it worked but it was only a blanket. The blinking lights of the window. It manages to ***** me and remind me of competition in traffic. The list. Lists. Numbered. Keep scrolling. Will it affect my life?
Needing to fit the box of a ten-year old, I sleep. Then, I post. That was not myself. How did this whole page about me belongs to someone else? I never drift before. Why, I wonder. Here comes the businesses. The banquets. Watching a flute get Tarzan'd by a piece of rope hanged across the room. Out of the blue, I found myself touring with a foreigner. What does he want from me? Is it wrong to think this way? He only asked me where I live and how I am. I stop. I feel the chills burning through my hands to fingers. The bones get cold, but do not when plugged by nerves.
I-I'm addicted? I need to sleep more. It's healthy, they say. It's fun.
When was the last time I had fun?
The more I see the light, the more I hate it. I bring the shutters down. Relaxing. Freeing. Pink flower keep falling. Peach flower keep shimmering. How come I never thought of it before? Now back to sleep. Wait, I can't sleep anymore. But everything's so festive. Are the photos not alive? But they frequently chatter. To me. And you---no me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Branded into these pixels of prizes and sporks full of dramatic dressings. What is meaning again? I kick the blanket out of the bed. I threw my pillows on the other side. It's hot. Everything's so hot. My air conditoner is on max---what's happening?? No, sleep!
It does not take long for me to gasp for air. I keep denying it but it is always in the back of my mind.
The only answer is to get out.
I try by slowly lifting my legs and down to the floor. Do I really? Now? This is the only answer. I repeat thrice. I'm getting old.
A wind caresses my cheek. I forgot I was even in a house.
Lights and all the shades That its shapes throw, Etched along the path of its travel Are the moments it creates Where we're wasting away The time of our lives In the hope that a beam Will wash it all away, Give us the enlightenment For which we all pray Let the wave of brightness Pass through the keyhole Of this dark room of life, Make you look impeccable While in reality You're only Dusting yourself off, Picking up the pieces left over In the wake of destruction Caused by your own self, The smile is unreal, Not fake You still carry hope In the middle of all the cries Some days you fall, Other days you shall rise.
You can't run from the mountain, If you want to drink from the fountain.