Burn me alive
I am your lust
But I will survive
Do so, if you must
I know your thoughts
Your mind and heart
You're caught in my knots
I am your integral part
Cause yourself pain
And try to overcome me
You'd be pronounced insane
I am your only key
Maybe not yet
As you are fighting me
You've placed a bet
Lost in the deep sea
I am flammable
You infuse me with filth
That's how I am capable
Do you realize your guilt
Your love perished without hope
So you welcomed me unknowingly
Now you can't cope
With my lustrous thirst seemingly
The pills decorate well
On your dresser I've noticed
Look in the mirror and tell
Have you killed your fetuses?
Living in a dark room
Regretting my call
Just like you're sitting on your tomb
See now your tears fall
You've made me weak
Dehydrated me with my own agony
I see the lights peek
Outside seems very sunny
I think I'll just go to my darkest corner
As I see you smiling often
You've done yourself a great honor
Your heart has softened
A sunset to lust and sunrise to love
But I'll be peeping from my rest
Breath free and look above
You've passed this test...
As I age I think who am I?
I know of what I am
What I was but
Who am I?
Am I self served?
I feel guilty for taking
others stuff well earned
I know I'm 20
But how old Is my soul
Is there a untold past
I yet to remember
I meet old friend and
here unbleivable stories of myself
How I was bad and
ate food bad for my health
Daily abuse from a belt
watching my snowmen melt
ignored when cried for help
now I'm happy
Because I do for myself
Fell so alive and well
My shoes are worn out
Can't imagine how I felt
all I know is I rose from hell
I'm not in heaven but
I'm not caged in a cell
Locked in jail waiting for mail
I'm blessed to survive
without taking blades from my shelf thanks so my faith
Ive bonded with my inner self
The Thames river froze that year,
Ênglish sheep husbandry I tell ya,
The Thirty Years' War continued,
Epic losses to sheep & men alike.
À cataclysmic year for many.
Testing year for Homo sapiens,
Ênchanted were the scavengers,
True bounty for dogs & vultures,
Europe almost killed its cultures.
Life is colourful
But not in the way I'd like,
It's shades keep changing
From lemon to blue to burgundy,
Feels like I'm living
In a constant state on melancholy.
Tried hard not to stare
At the melody that kept swirling
In front of my eyes
And through my ears,
Sometimes I forgot breathing.
And it trapped me into the deep
Clawed hard to come up from beneath,
But it was hard to hold on
The walls were too steep.
Never thought I'd wish
For a colourless life of black and white,
Of boring creatures and ordinary sight..
Never thought I'd be the one
To want my seeds to sow,
To want my roots to dig deep and grow.
Maybe flowing with the wind
Is not for me,
Free-falling is not the same as flying,
Peter should leave me alone now,
I don't want to end up dying.
Thought I almost saw
Heaven from where I was,
But it lay barren
With no gates or guards,
Or even angels or gods,
Either the books or my mind is lying,
It is overrated to wish for dying.
But I made it through
Somehow I swam back ashore,
Fought the muddied waters that blinded me,
Somehow I found my door.
And to sanity I return,
With lessons and scars that still burn
It's good to look ahead with clarity,
It's good to be back to reality.
It just rained.
The sky is pale blue and
the wind is surely pleasing.
I might just think that the weather is perfectly made for me.
I see some tables and chairs,
some drinks and snacks,
some variety of people
I only see during this time of the day
and only during this kind of weather.
It's 6 PM and
it's almost as dark
as the deepest of the night.
The sky now is indigo blue
and the moon is already peaking.
And god, what I'd do to smile like that.
I see drinks, I am holding a cup of rootbeer
while my friends hold a cup of red horse.
We talk about life, and how scary it is to live;
we talk about ending it, and the many ways we could consider trying;
we talk about enduring it, and how strong we are to have ourselves survive 'til today;
and we talk about staying, just because we're still here.
Though we're barely breathing,
we are here,
and just like the moon tonight,
with the cup of rootbeer in my hand
and with the cup of red horse they have,
we are smiling.
It's almost 8 PM and
the wind is still as pleasing.
It's touching my skin
it gives me a different feeling.
I see hands holding a grip to its last cup of beer;
I see eyes looking down, sleepy;
I see eyebags which I guess I can say as deep as the night;
I see crooked teeth;
I see imperfection.
Though we are as imperfect,
we are smiling,
we're on our way home
with car lights reflecting on our faces.
We wave goodbye to the bottle of beer for two and my rootbeer.
We made it through the night.
The past few years have been nothing
But getting pushed down
And somehow standing back up.
I don't know how I do it, really.
It's like a never-ending storm
And I don't have a raincoat.
But walking along, soaking wet
Is soothing now.
Even when thoughts of death
Clouded my vision
And I sought help
I was turned down.
How did I survive?
I'm trying to live my best life
I'm trying to be the best version of "me".
That's all any of us can do, right?
So I brush the dirt from my knees,
Wipe my hands on my pants
And continue about my day.
1st Verse/16 Bars
I'm trying to earn more pennies to mark me a moment in life,
A moment in time, I should probably drop this razor sharp knife,
I need to Push forward through this crowd of confusion,
But your in delusion with these rhymes that I'm using and abusing
Cos I'm confusing, consuming, choosing and amusing myself,
refusing so I'm producing more tracks for consuming and wealth,
Snapping your neck at every single beat, whilst you're tapping your feet,
So all sit back with some popcorn you're in for a much needed treat,
I ponder and wander in my mind sometimes as I see painted pictures,
when I paint I find a story or a rhyme using these triggers,
Whilst I play with words that take years to carve and curve,
something harder to learn and yearn into something much more worth,
More to you than me so my life had, meaning from my birth,
Ripping up turf, trying to find words beneath the core of earth,
So I rap in metaphoric tongue because I'm using poetic justice,
you're frowned from above whilst you try master and craft this.
In order to survive,
Do all you can in life,
Make yourself feel alive,
In order to survive.
(2nd Verse/14 bars)
I use a form of speech that frees the soul to reach your own goal,
so you won't be buried inside you'll confide in deep parts using coal,
to set fire to bars you spit, ripping and fitting every single hole,
Whilst I rap I'm reforming and morphing them into some sort of mold,
Because while I'm hitting, n knitting bars like threads and then sowing,
the lawn whilst I'm mowing n showing people I'm always growing,
in capacity and trying to shove off some of the animosity,
the world's in atrocity whilst I'm producing I feel it subconsciously,
As we would say in Great Britain would you like a cup of Rosie Lee
and then In France they say no musketeers without the three,
but I found me as I perfect and refine every single line,
lyrics so evil I'll be committing a grade A crime,
in time for these dimes to drop without single a fine,
Lyrics so sour you may as well suck a lime.
In order to survive,
Do all you can in life,
Make yourself feel alive,
Find a future or wife,
I can rap like I'm insane but other rappers are plain,
No strawberry or chocolate just vanilla milkshake,
I dream of crowds shouting my name not in vain,
Because within this ink I'm pouring my soul through pain,
Razor, scissors and chainsaws will cut you all the same,
Like these lines that will cut you up whilst I'm in the game,
i hope you realise but this whole rap is one big metaphor,
A rise to the fame and all the glory comes with downpour,
Crying so hard he might flood the whole ground floor,
Biting so hard into the rap hes got lockjaw,
I hope my next song will be featuring someone who killed a
situation to diffuse the rhyme from the bigger picture,
I'm Slitting my veins to bleed and produce on this page,
trying to push and pull salary above the minimum wage.
Best friends lovers Partners in life standing next to you I can handle any strife
Since the day we met I just knew it was meant to be, because looking into your eyes I could see our eternity.
Knowing you're here for me and I'm here for you too, with us intertwined there's nothing we can't do
I hold you up and you hold me higher because your soul possesses my every desire
I promise each day to make your heart smile, to cherish your presence in my artful style
From this day forward you will always have my heart because I knew loving you was RIGHT from the start.
I love you now and I'll love you forever because I know our love will survive the toughest weather.
One day it won't matter how hard I try to be
the best thing that ever happened to you.
One day, inevitably,
I'll drown in the puddles of sweat in my shoes.
Plodding down the hallway to your room
I'll knock softly in case you're in a mood.
How did I get here?
A sappy, pathetic thing, standing outside your door,
ready to shit myself if you're mad again.
I stand with sweaty palms outstretched when you open the door.
Your face... I should have known better then.
A hug. That was all I wanted.
You could have kept your frown.
One hit and I was down, drowned.
The door slams shut again.
I can't smell dinner on the stove anymore.
The blood fills my nose and drips to the floor.
But I can smell the gasoline that I later poured out...
On the floor where we once cuddled all night,
on the couch that we bought from your friend you text sometimes,
on the wall where I had meant to hang pictures of us smiling,
outside your door that you carried me through once, as a bride.
I don't want to drown anymore.
Just like we matched once,
one match is all it took tonight.
One match to erase you forever.
I took the dog that you liked to kick.
We still drive your truck I lost my virginity in.
We found ourselves a nice little beach house somewhere
because God it feels so good to swim.