There once was a boy who had it all in his eyes,
A loving and caring Girlfriend, A best friend who would always hear him out and help whenever she was needed, a part-time job that he loved, and a friend who would always discuss strange and interesting topics.
In his eyes, he had it all, and in a matter of a year, he lost it all.
His girlfriend left him for another man and in the same time frame that they had dated, she ended up married to that man,
A best friend that he took for granted and hurt in more ways than one and never speaks or hears from,
A friend who is now thousands of miles away and barley speaks to anymore thanks to his job,
And a job that he quit in order to pursue what he thought was right.
But how did it come to this? It's simple, he lost sight of who he once was and in-turn pushed those people away.
He became over-needy with his girlfriend, afraid that she was constantly cheating and did things without telling her, his anger started to show more often when he was with her due to drama that was out of his control, which caused her to leave when he needed her most,
He hurt his best friend by having feelings for her, he never thought about how she felt, and in turn caused her a summer of pain and hurt.
He also hurt her more by getting into a relationship with her after his last one and would make constant remarks about how he wished he was with his ex while with her, which pushed her and pained her to hear.
He lost his friend because he never discussed his problems with him and pushed him away in fear that he would hurt him to.
He quit his job because he felt that the next part of his life would be a changing point, good news is, it was...but only for a short time
In that short time he slowly got better, slowly made more friends, slowly got over his ex, slowly stopped with his vape, got rid of his steel friend that caused him to bleed red and slowly worked on bettering himself,
But that short freedom came to a holt when he was forced back into his old life, his old environment, and his old room, a room filled with painful memories, filled with the sadness and dis-spare that never left.
And now, there's more drama that's in his life, not from his own actions, but from the actions of others, actions that cannot be undone, actions that affect him nearly every day of his life.
Now, he doesn't have that freedom he once did and more importantly, he doesn't have anything, not anymore,
Sure, he has "friends" , he has a place to survive, but those friends don't listen to his problems, they don't ask whats wrong, they don't feel the need to help thanks to the facade that he has put up, a facade that is needed in order to not push them away.
His only real friends now....
are the vape in his hands, the sadness and the nostalgia in his head, and the exhaustion that he feels on a daily basis.
But he keeps on going, believing that there has to be a light at the end of this never ending tunnel he has placed himself in, believing that there has to be more to the story, more good that has to come...but he gets more and more tired as the days pass.
Don't be like me,
Don't take things for granted, don't lose sight of who you want to be, don't ignore the pain of others, don't get placed in an environment that you'll fail in and if you do, look for the positives there, and more importantly, don't let your feelings control every action you take, there are times where emotion is necessary, and times where it's not.
Keep going, keep swimming in your own sea, keep walking in your tunnel, and when the monsters of your past re-appear, don't let them swallow you whole, but don't ignore them, simply wave and keep going towards the end of your path.
It's easy to say this stuff, but executing it is a whole other matter, always remember that.
but more importantly,
D O N ' T M A K E T H E S A M E M I S T A K E ' S A S me.
Sorry for the long story, had to much to say for small poems.