Life it's a bad joke
Told by people who wants to see
You cut your own throat
And when the curtains close
They all going to laugh
While you choke
Let them be the crowd
The judges
Put me in the death row
I'll get out
With the people who lives below
And one day
I'll be the one who controls the joke

I've been fighting to survive my entire life.
Just trying to stay alive
But I forgot the most important thing
surviving is not the same as living.

To be a man, is to face your fears everyday.
Carry this meat suit in a dignified fashion.
Question life and its maelstrom of sorrow.
Forgive the failures of others.

To be a man, is to protect your friends.
Hide your disgust at others happiness.
Move unnoticed through a crowd of people who struggle everyday.
Find, laugh and be merry with your best friends.

To be a man, is to know thine enemy.
Prepare for your future trials by training the body.
Always mistrust the ones you love.
Pretend to feel empathy and recognize their true intentions.

To be a man, is to control your violent impulses.
Never acknowledge the visions of killing that you see.
Hold back the feeling of tears when spoken kindly to.
Never help the destitute.

And when I stop being a man.
And the facade finally breaks.
And the families who stabbed me in the back, come for more.
And when everyone has quietly left me.
And I am now the destitute.
I cradle my body.
And tremble alone.

These past couple of years I've learned a lot

I've learned that sunshine really does make you feel happier,

And seasonal depression is a real thing.

I've learned that singing in the car as loud as you can to your favourite song does count as self care.

And so does sleeping.

I've learned that eating healthy and working out doesnt cure depression

It can help you feel a bit better about yourself though.

I've learned that silence in a conversation speaks louder than a thousand words spoken

And you cant force people to stay in your life who dont wanna be there.

I've learned that laughter is so healing

And finding someone who can make you laugh while you're in tears is so important.

I've learned that everyone has a story and a past.

And everyone has been through something that has changed them for better or for worse, but we're in no position to judge each other for it.

I've learned that in life you need to accept not everyday will be good but there will always be something good in your day.

And some days you'll feel on top of the world while other days you'll feel crushed underneath it.

I've learned it's okay to be sad, to cry and to break down.

And that as hard as it is to believe this yourself, you still deserve to be happy no matter what your demons are or what your mind tells you.

I've learned that people always leave but the good ones stick around, and sometimes people come back around.

And that the only person who can make your life better is you, so it's time you, we, I all push ourselves a little more each day.

Most importantly though, I've learned that life is worth living, yours is too I promise this.

And I'm proud of myself and I'm proud of you, for still being here.

❤❤

I must survive, just to keep them alive.