I was born to be alone.. As you weren’t there for all my panic attacks when I sent you a message that I needed you right now as my hands were shivering to the point that I couldn't yearn for help, when the doctor was the only one who patted my shoulder and said; It's okay, you are safe now… When I saw a semi-reflection of my parents through your soul…. Well, I’m here, fighting demons, As it’s Thursday, and you didn’t come home. I know I should do better and ignore this intense fear of mine. I should yearn for something else rather than the idea of your colorful permanent settlement in my black-and-white corners.
She used to be alive Not hanging on by a thread Not worrying if she’d survive She was living life instead Then the lights went out And the fears began to shout And she sat in the dark with no desire to face another day Out of place, out of grace She retraced all the ways she had failed Then she thought why waste another day? There’s nothing left to say Nothing left but today Plans already underway But there must be a reason to stay
the protea magnifica or queen protea as it is also known is a south african flower of which until recently i was shamefully unaware a sprawling shrub of varying height dependent upon influences of its growth but a hardy plant nonetheless able to survive and to thrive under the starkest of conditions and habitats its flower is not delicate like many others but a symbol of survival of resilience and growth its boldest of blooms an array of brightest hues sending a message of strength and power courage and hope yet the tightly held closed cup of its petals suggests a reluctance to be noticed an uncertainty of it's own true beauty perhaps in comparison to its kingly namesake
You thought you'd left the days of make believe behind by the time you were nine. And yet, years later, here you are making yourself believe you'll be okay so you can make your baby believe the same. Somewhere along the way, we seem to correlate imagination with maturity. But what if it has less to do with growing up and more to do with surviving? What if it's a defense mechanism?