I asked one time
"Why must we grow old?"
And I was told
"So we have the mind to ask,
'Why must we grow old?'"
So I guess I'll only show
But never really know
Oh well

©2024

I've never felt the comfort of being comfortable enough to be me
...
Do you know what that's like?
...
Like floating dead center of the deepest sea
...
And trying to ride a mangled bike
...
Like climbing to the weakest part of the tallest tree
...
Then stepping out to start the hike
...
I can't locate the key to unlock any different reality
...
Try as I might
...
So I struggle significantly to just be the Jeremy others want to see
...
When I don't even know if that Jeremy is someone I like

©2024

I can't live with these thoughts
Take them from me permanently
Or ready my pine box

All life's cheap shots
I've never found a remedy
All pleasantry coagulates or clots

Vast planes of sparse lots
Riddle my memory so little to no memory
Only empty, inflammatory subpar plots

My past leaches off my future as it rots
Leaving mostly nothing left for me
Subsequently having less than the have nots

©2024

Hope and reality
Those two often don't mesh
While need and want
Battle the sins of the flesh
I question self preservation
Tracing these scars made fresh
I find myself reciting,
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
As I  hold my breath up to the rest

©2024

I can't do what you need me to do
Not naturally capable
Unable to be who you want me to be
Impossibly impossible
I might fight the fight you wish me to fight
Adrenaline is incredible
Shouldn't have to bow or bend to your will
Especially if we're equal
I refuse to kiss the ring like you're expecting
Laughably satirical
This polished **** won't gleem like you'd like it too
Completely unreasonable

©2024

A life time lost, mindlessly searchin', wanderin' aimlessly in the margin
Lingerin' in the gray, outside yet somehow dead center of socially accepted norms and action
Starved of affection, but by design, never forget to mention it feels safer with zero human interaction
Parched, withering away, no reaction, no peace, only life but just a fraction

A scorched Earth, a nightmarish vision, a dream state of my demons risen
No rhyme, no reason, no time to be forgiven, is it a sin if the motive is kept hidden?
Does one exist if forgotten? No answer if you can't remember the question
Hence then, to stay afloat one must stop the spin of the downward spiral one finds oneself in

Listen, or don't, it won't matter in the end, frightened without the knowledge of when
A last breath taken after finally on the mend, would it be different if hope wasn't given?
A permanent decision, forever finally allowed to begin but could it be considered a win?
It's all about perception, a frown flipped upside down is a grin

Eyes wide shut, lie and try to pretend they're open, heart closed off, can't repair what's been broken
A conversation with a villan disguised by the voice of a friend, a danger unspoken
Another bad omen, no one around, both voices coming from a location deep within
What's been awoken has stolen emotion and allowed the erosion to begin

...and here...we go...again...

©2023

My rough past, a lonely gravel path that directed me here
One riddled with loathing and fear from myself and every peer
It all pales in comparison to each and every fallen tear
Added to the unforgiving shame of having tried to check out that one year
It's this reign of pain that stops me in my tracks like headlights freezing a deer
It's clear I don't know how to steer and can not get out of first gear
My entire windshield is a rearview mirror, the next tragedy always closer than they appear
My over corrections and over reactions are too severe, they're starting to break down the veneer
Put in place to simulate normalcy and hide the real me but I'm a horrible engineer
The intentions were sincere but this cavalier attitude never allowed the good in me to adhere
I've given in to my dark passenger allowing it to commandeer the space between each ear
At the time I thought it'd be far messier if I tried too interfere with the puppeteer
So I grabbed a few memories as a souvenir and tried to disappear

©2023

My past haunts tirelessly
There's a lot of it at 40
Also less time for recovery
I wish it was "get some therapy"
Type of easy
I wish they'd stop blaming me

©2024

I'm reminded I'm standing in the middle of my bull $hit
By a credible doomsday profit
Felt like a kidney punch followed by a di¢k kick
A devastating hit
Not a knockout blow but still significant
Physical and mental damage present
Pray it's not permanent
Contemplating what it'd mean if I quit
Then the bell saved me ultimately,
Sending me to my corner to sit
Maybe I just need to cool down a bit...

®2024

It's far easier to hate than forgive, can't give myself a break when the case study's retrospective
I hate that it's easier to die than to live, pull up just shy and see it all fall in and out of perspective
To be here, right here, year after year is the objective but the inner chatter from my dark passenger is persuasive
Life escapes through each back stab wound like a fleshy sieve, how much can one individual give
Just meaningless crumbs aren't attractive, I'm a no good, very bad human representative
So primitive, the smooth brain collective not selective enough to be proactive instead of reactive
The crazies run the nut house and the clubs exclusive, drunk off two fifths, the front doors elusive
I'm no detective, I just hope my karma is something I can outlive

Dark thoughts are combative, my own mind is abusive, held captive with no clear motive
The rush from anger becomes addictive even when self destructive
The me I want to be has lost all adhesive and every step towards a concept that moves forward feels counterproductive
From my perspective I should embrace the paradox, go back in time and hand my mom a contraceptive
I'd rather not exist than to be a relative to this bloodline that feels radioactive
But what's the alternative, trading one mess for another is gonna get repetitive
And every time, the byproduct gets more carossive, the rust forms a husk that falls away exposing the explosive
One that goes off erratically 'cause real change isn't a newspaper, or soothsayer, real help is expensive

Hand me that sedative, this repetitive narrative is too intensive, Lucifer's obsessive and I, compulsive
Destructive to a fault and so one sided I'm not even competitive
A cognitive function nowhere near adaptive, straight to punishment, bypassing corrective
Leaving me to always be on the defensive but that alone will fail to be effective
At least for the collection of the negative that is a bigger percentage of the me that's reflective
One of a fugitive on the run from my formative years, all the hardwired fears still active
Each with a different authoritative directive and all for the worse, who the hell's even driving this locomotive?
My words sound figurative, at least enough to label it an overactive imagination, so creative
But it's imperative that this is looked at as informative, a documentary type narrative

CAUSE I SWEAR IT IS

©2023

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Let me start by saying that there's no need for the exchange of pleasantries, no introductions are necessary, I'm just here to verbally deliver a quick update memo on the progress being made daily. I know you're all busy people so I'll try to be brief and get though this quickly yet thoroughly.  There will also be no time for questions at the end. Let's begin...

I've reconstructed the way I think and see, scrapped the old me
The lies the devil sold me, told me I was a nobody and I bought into it completely
It forcibly held me down, face to the ground and from that angle everything is ugly
Tears slowly crawled down my cheeks to their final resting point, silently they turn the dirt muddy
But see, I went from a tragedy to a medical anomaly as I reversed the lobotomy
With the regrowth of the proper anatomy I ultimately but unnaturally went from an mental amputee to winning endurance marathons easily
It's amazing how quickly road blocks turn to speed bumps, almost instantly
They may slow me down but getting over them is no longer a problem for me
Eventually they will transform entirely into simple mile markers that I pass by on the daily
This path, this new journey will get me to the place I was suppose to be originally
Finally, after thirty years I'm looking forward to seeing some new scenery, being a part of this life changing movie
And with me I've got my two favorite people, Logan and Apphia respectively
They bring out the best in me, their love and belief in me drives me
They make me wanna be the best me I can be and opened my eyes to my true destiny
See, I thought life would be the death of me but truth be told it's a blessing bestowed to me
The rebirth metaphorically into this new family has restored my faith in humanity
I'm not used to this smile I feel on me, this is crazy, this must be what it feels like to be happy

©2018

Seeds of doubt churn with streams of hurt
Blazing trails from brain to heart
It all collects, it pools deep there
Adopting the role of abuser, turning me prisoner
Before life spills over the razors edge
Ribbons of red spill over, off the ledge
Must I follow?
Must I alway question the finality of every tomorrow?

©2024

"It's not a bad life,
Only a bad day"
To which I respond right away,
"Okay,
But what if it's everyday?"
Their reply?
"That's just life"
"Oh, ya don't say"

©2024

Another failure?
Sure
Stack it here,
On the left shoulder
The right shoulder
Is occupied by a boulder
Otherwise what do I care
Just next in the long line,
A tether,
To the newest nightmare
That'll transition seamlessly,
I swear,
Seemingly out of thin air
Into a more current,
Living daymare
I know the routine
But you can see the ware
You can count every tare
I can't hide the despair,
It shows up everywhere
I wasn't taught how to prepare
But have noticed each and every year,
Yeah after year,
Less and less people care
About that detail in particular
So I run perpendicular
To my failure
Maybe forever
Especially if I have to be
My own savior

©2024

I wouldn't know the feeling associated with being valuable
I know vulnerable, I do know that
I know painful and invisible, dismissible and disposable
I know, "keep your nose outta trouble" hypocritical
I know the day-to-day that tries in every way to keep you face down while you play it off as being humble
It's your mind but can't join the huddle
While any spare time is stolen by the mental struggle
The battle plan is and always was simple,
"Toss more at him than he can handle,"
"More than humanly, no, humanely possible"
It's sad though
Because my recall is abysmal so I don't know
If I've never had my hands on a handle
****** from the get-go
Now just ruins of what was easily let go
By the many that have come before and there'll be more for sure though

©2024

I don't know how else to say it
And you don't care enough to lie
Like an over explained comedy bit
Where the attention has run dry
You hiss
I spit
We both bit
Always right about to get
Into an eye for an eye
Where we'll both find
It's far harder
To point a finger
While we're both blind
Though we'll both try

©2024

This mangled heart of mine
I've had to start retraining
Teaching it to feel once more
Encouraging it to love
Without replacing the core
Stop keeping score
Don't forget player one
That character
Looking back from the mirror
No need to fear the next beat
More than the one before
Reassuring we'll find the shore
We still have one oar
Emphasizing no two moments are identical
Learn from the past,
Accept what's in-store
Hurt stops at nothing
But look how far you've made it while sore
Battles have been lost
But make sure
To stand tall amidst the war
Don't be your own saboteur

©2024

In order to be with you
I had to sacrifice the last part of me
That I really liked
So I find myself here with you
With nothing left of me
Too actually be liked

©2024

I feel safer somewhere cold and dark
Like my lonely, ransacked heart
At times it has played the part
Tucked behind a fleshy rampart
Casting a stark silhouette,
Becoming somewhat of a trademark
Can't remember when it lost it's spark
It had to have been sometime, way back,
Before the halfway mark
The memory gets a bit hazy,
Especially when trying to recall the start
What I get to deal with now is,
Just how quickly it all fell apart

©2024

I see you had a bad day
Thinkin' things you shouldn't say
No other choice but to stay and pay to play
Can't even stray away from your own cliche
Doomed by strands of DNA
Failed every single attempt in every possible way
In desperation you kneel to pray
No answer today...
...same as yesterday

©2023

I was able to fool myself there for a little bit
The fraudulent thought was constant
  However, my penmanship captured a consistent internal beratement
But every new piece is the same 'ol shiit
It just pours out different
Duplicate content no matter the faucet
But it's only ever water coming outta the spigot
Forming from the origin of a recurring script
With only a singular way to interpret
You're only going to get one thing from an unchanging mindset
Just gets reworded before print
"Maybe they won't notice it"
"If I rearrange it it'll at least look different"
But the retreating interest is evident
Leading to the realization that was destined to hit
"They've found my secret"
"This pony only has one trick"
Should have paid closer attention to it
I lie and say it's wit,
Which I know is bull shiit
Because I couldn't and wouldn't argue if you called it redundant
The absolute of my failure is pungent
On my best day I'm still repugnant
Any new muse goes out of its way to be absent
Mostly due to the subject,
That's me,
Becoming complacent
Setting anchor in what was my escapement
Befriending my replacement
I wouldn't suggest it
But I ate it
So now I gotta ingest it

©2024

If I where to ever get around to it,
There will be very few who would care
Okay, maybe a little bit
But they will roll their eyes
There will be scoffs and sighs
They will try to disguise the smirk
That comes with the pride of being right with no surprise
Because "todays the day"
They will finally be able to say
"I told you so"
"I told you he was a monster"
"I told you he didn't care"
"What did I tell ya, huh? He didn't want to be here"
Nope, not true
But what do they care?
Had they ever?
Whatever
What's true is I will no longer be there
To wave like hell to clear the air
And attempt in vain to clear my name
I will have proven them right once again
By not being able to prove them wrong
Just another loser's dance and song

©2024

We have more in common than you might think, from way back when, we've all been a slave to the system
This isn't some All Life's Matter nonsense to gum up progress, it's just an explanation of the MO of our nation
It went from skin to the dollar amount you bring in, it's my history too, no appropriation
How is it that I don't fit in being that I'm part Native American, must be the other part of me that's an Irish man

They stole you then stoud you and demand you comply to tilling stolen soil using the same regurgitated lie
You were forced to work, we were forced to die, you deserve reperations but unironically so do I
You look at me and just see another white guy, I'm a perfect example that history can't always be seen by the naked eye
Never forget the why, we're being forced to hide the cry as they rush to rewrite themselves as the good guy

Sectioned off ghetto and reservations put in place for the preservation of the notion only the white survive and thrive
Every second of our life the truths been uncovered and streamed live, no need for a deep dive
But they still claim to be blind to the red stained streets from this perverse and nonconsentual mass blood drive
Their stories never jive but the hive mentality rules, allowing bigotry and hate to always revive

I want to Hulk out, often feel I'm about too, but what's that gonna do, it'll only prove we're as savage as they say
They are waiting for the avalanche to fall any day so they can justify putting us away, barking at us to just sit and stay
Is there another way, how can we drag this from out the shadows and into the light when there's only perpetual grey
Allowin' us to say what we gotta say hoping then we'll go away, how many marters will it take before we're no longer prey?

Question charitable blankets, pass on the boat ride, how we suppose to trust when every handshake is a lie certified
A bona-fied villain willin' and able, fully capable of genuine genocide screaming gods on their side
If there is a god and he does come back he better watch his back or run and hide
They lack morals of any kind, replaced with blind pride, he'd undoubtedly be crucified in a fashion not only justified but glorified

I know you can't fight hate with hate, that'll only perpetrate this disastrous fate
But all we hear is wait, the time is never right but always near and once it's here they'll be glad to open the gate
But if we keep rattling the cage they'll have to keep pushing back the date, so we wait
But how much do they think we can actually take? Maybe they're just waiting for us to finally break

©2022

Laying motionless on a riverbed,
Drowning at rock bottom constantly
I hate to admit it but
That's where you'll most commonly find me
No landmarks, no marked miles,
Got lost on the back roads to recovery
I finally pulled out of this nosedive of false certainty
Just to expectedly fall back into the same trajectory
Distractions follow closely,
Waiting to complicate the wrong actions I already make consistently
That's a disastrous recipe
That's what has made my present day a fraction of what I think it oughta be
This has to be far more than what I have coming to me
Like what I've repaid triggers karma's selective memory

©2024

If there is no one to blame,
To frame,
To claim
Did this to me
Then the arcane,
Link chain,
Rusty from the rain
But still holding me
Should be easy to explain
But it can't be

©2024

"Go deep son!"
I run deep for the long one
But there's no one
The ball doesn't come
Now I'm just on the run
A prodigal, no, a wayward unwanted only son
With no distinction of direction between to or from someone
I'd give everything for a destination
I'd give it all for a connection
I'd settle for a distraction
Or even a sliver of affection

©2024

(song)

What if the night sky refused to give way to day
What if the grey never lifted, and I lost my way
What if those bright stars are all tally mark scars
Recording every mistake that I make, my freedoms right outside these skeletal bars

Ohhhhhh
I don't like this feeling, I'm feeling it winning and I just want to be okay
This disorder is master, no matter my counter, I can't seem to get out of my way

Someone please see me, please hear my silent pain
I've wondered this road for too long
Confusing what's right and what's wrong
I'm not asking to save me, just shelter me from the rain
I've been on this path far too long
How is it that I'm always wrong

What if the bad days overtake all the good
What if the best of me isn't allowed to shine like it should
What if this darkness consumes all the light
What if the hand that extends out to help never feels right

Ohhhhhh
I hope and I pray that one day I can say I made it despite my history
Please let there be time to care for me and mine before reading my eulogy

Someone please see me, please hear my silent pain
I've wondered this road for too long
Confusing what's right and what's wrong
I'm not asking to save me, just shelter me from the rain
I've been on this path far too long
How is it that I'm always wrong

What if the line blurs and I get caught backwards
No one there to kick the chair or care afterwards
I can't fight the good fight, my defenses are down
I'm desperate for some kind of help, I must be the falling tree making no sound

Ohhhhhh
I'm hopeless and helpless I can't seem to stop this from defining my roll in life
The strife and abuse from inside leads me to an out at the edge of a dull knife

Someone please see me, please hear my silent pain
I've wondered this road for too long
Confusing what's right and what's wrong
I'm not asking to save me, just shelter me from the rain
I've been on this path far too long
How is it that I'm always wrong

©2022

With each and every smile the lie grows
Gotta live with this Pinocchio nose
Black out curtains dress the windows
So, I suppose,
The only parts of me I expose
Are silhouette shadows

©2024

What's gotten into me?
Well, it's spite silly
Despite a lack of a vacancy
Much needed for what's actually important to me

©2024

I don't have any answers
I can't recall the right questions
Even with makeshift blinders
I find myself open to suggestions
I've had enough with these reminders
I catch a glimpse of the problem in reflections
Dark and light are missing critical dividers
Please help, can't tell angels from demons?
We three share the same voice as Pinocchio nose liers
What road is it they say is paved with the best intentions?
Something about a destination of eternal fires...
Eh, it's a moot point now,
I fly by the stairway, going 107 on the highway, it's one way, no need for directions

©2024

Crimes gone on and on and against all humanity with a refusal to ever scrutinize
Twist the rule of law to accommodate the blatant lies they prioritize on both sides
That's the American dream, can only be seen behind closed eyes
Allowed to look but can't touch the prize, that's the hook, the bait and switch slight of hand is no surprise
A separate set of law books slipped in on the sly, guess the compromise
One for the citizen and one for the almighty enterprise, just dollar signs in their eyes
All for one and one for all, false bravado, see what happens when a nobody tries
See how quick a global problem is prioritized to keep in check a global unrest notably on the rise
Also on the rise, fear of a population turned unbiased congregation then weaponized
Who exactly are the good guys? If it's a non zero number I'd be surprised
Who would have guessed that building an enterprise on the lives of the little guys would be a possible demise?

🎼If you go into my neck of the woods prepare for a big surprise
A lone baby cries it's own lullabies through innocent eyes as innocence dies
The evil in people is all that thrives, it's never been the best of times🎼

©2023

...the melting ice shifts and strikes a familiar tone against the glass tumbler, abruptly snapping me back to my actuality
It pains me to call it reality but I'm forced to do so untill I change what I see or my surroundings change me
Both options frighten me...

©2024

I cry
Recently quite a lot
Some tears fall with no why
Most are no longer fought
Like rain from the sky
Weather wanted or not
Emotions flood the eye
The mind an impossible knot
Man card revoked, no reapply
I push through all for naught
Every try
A long shot...
But it's all I got

©2024

A free captive
Informed I don't know how to love or live
Only examples have been showbiz
Emotions in cursive
Not easily or easy to forgive
No clear or ulterior motive

Rage and violence consume absolutely
They savagely rip apart and rearrange me but not outwardly
I've been known to be self destructively passive and cowardly
Maybe a lobotomy would stop the calamity

Never experienced supportive
The consequences massive
I've been rewritten as aggressive
Stabbed in the back, I supplied the shiv
Caustic and corrosive
This is no way to live

Good fortune such a rare commodity it falls apart too easily
Troubles squeeze so completely and never leave me
What I am and what I'm supposed to be create this rigid dichotomy
I hope the something that's gotta give doesn't end up being me

©2024

iNNER THOUGHTS BECOME INTENSE
aS THEY PICK APART IT'S OWN DEFENSE
mAKING DOOM PREDICTIONS AT IT'S OWN EXPENSE
fINDING A NEED TO RELIEVE SUSPENSE
hENCE THE ARRANGEMENT OF LETTERS INTO WORDS THAT MAKE SENSE
tHE TRANSLATION ITSELF IS A JUMBLED MESS
tHE CRANIUM FEELS FAR TOO DENSE
wHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?
lOVE AND HATE IN THE SAME CONTENTS
rUSH TO TAKE OFFENSE
cAN NEVER GET IT OUT BEFORE  THE CRACK UP AND BREAKDOWN COMMENCE

©2024

I don't have enough room up there for it to be all in my head
From the heaping piles of motionless dreams strewn across the floor, looking pretty dead
To the racks on racks on racks in multiple mile high stacks of things I wish I'd not said
Can't put the issues to rest if I myself can't drum up the will to get out of bed
It's not strictly fear I feel whilst preparing for checkout, it's the overbearing weight of dread

©2024

Shamelessly flaunting a "good life" but never own it
They're only snapshots of good times and staged moments
You've only come across carefully selected, rookie opponents
Never felt how hard struggle hits
But...
What about when the floor drops out and a new rock bottom is found?
What about when the relentless doubt is the only thing registering as sound?
It's a generic cliche but a legitimate thing to say,
Who are you when judgment isn't around?
Do you explode in secrecy if to tightly wound?
Do you trust what stops the breakdown from happening in front of a crowd?
When you can't distinguish between right and wrong, when up seems down
When "elementary my dear Watson" proves too profound
When inner thoughts are unbound
When your own mind releases the hellhound
When you lose the comfort and security of solid ground
Control and reason give way to confusion and treason and all you can do is lie and say "change is inbound"
Would exposing the real you leave those closest to you confound?
See,
They say there's two sides to every story
I believe the same is true for every personality,
So I'm just asking around

©2024

I've run out of sheep to count
Leaving me wide awake through this living nightmare
Sowing a seed of doubt
Is life's refusal to even consider fighting fare
Each step taken while walkin' about
Feeds on the back of my mind, whispering, "do it if you dare"
Fueling despair
Instigating internal warfare
Causing excessive ware and tare
Resulting in a head of hair gone bare
And I'm forced to bite my tongue completely off
To keep from admitting I no longer care

©2024

I'm failing
And I'm doing it at twice the speed than I'm falling
It's daunting,
Can't shake this loser feeling
Always ******* in dealing
With a mind that reeling,
Emotions that are spiking,
A heart that's spilling,
A soul depleting
And thoughts sent spinning
It's not even something I'm hearing
At least not outside of this in house courtroom hearing
That's taking place every morning,
Going deep into the evening
No,
There's no co conspiring,
No colluding
Or hitman hiring
It's self inflicted self destruction,
Without instruction
And while it's death defying
It's still an emotional beating
To the point I begin wondering
Am I still a living,
Breathing,
Human being
Type thing?
A strange bit of questioning

©2024

Okay, okay, geeze
They're only follies
I'm sorry, have mercy,
I can surrender no further,
I plea on my knees
Doesn't matter how hard you squeeze
There's nothing left,
I have nothing left
I'm begging you please
When you leave,
Just deposit me by the other empties

©2023

Love and hate
Neither pose a challenge to fate
What even is there to debate?
Prove one is far stronger than the other
Go ahead,
I'll wait right here

©2024

Don't ever let 'em see
Don't ever let it show
Men in this society
Must curb the emotional
Bury it all, never let it be known
That mental health is what it stole
Stick to the script
Know your roll
Even though living like that
Leaves one barely functional
You don't want to upset
The status quo

©2024

I'm not a good lover, no good at hand in hand
Never not been exposed, still I pretend
The real me casually breaks free,
What do I do then?
No suggestion comes in
It's what goes around then comes around again and again,
When will it end?

Nobody knows...
...I let no one in so no one knows the situation


I'm not a good adult, I'm not a good friend
Never not been exposed, why do I still pretend
The real me awkwardly breaks free,
What do I do then?
I suggest hide the specimen within
It goes around then comes around again and again,
Is it going to end?

Nobody knows...
...search and rescue called off for no reason

I'm not a good man, I'm not a righteous person
Never not been exposed, I've given up pretendin'
The real me aggressively breaks free,
What do I do then?
Didn't we call each other friend?
What goes 'round, right 'round comes right 'round 'round again and again,
It's just not gonna end

Nobody knows...

©2024

The grand scheme, void of me, stands in stoic devotion
To zero compulsion
It holds no emotion
What a notion
I'm feelin' like a single plankton
In a vast ocean
Aimlessly floatin'
In a seemingly meaningless motion

©2023

No one will be there
To witness me leaping
But they'll line up in droves
To judge me and my chosen ending

©2024

A part of me is left behind every door that closes
Like a mourning loved one, I leave roses
Another chunk of me is stolen by future pretend friends
Right when I step through the convenient door they told me always opens
With every new venture a strand of hope ends

©2024

Can I tell you my dreams?
Will you stick around long enough to understand what each means?
Should I skip over the nightmare scenes
That flicker through like 8mm on pull down screens
While the essence meanders by like dust through projector beams
Two extremes
Two cerebral regimes
Strange themes
Nothing's as it seems
Importance only found beyond the streams of screams
No, I don't think I will mention my dreams

©2024

Trust might be the hardest thing ever to recover
Whether mother, father, sister, brother
Grandfather, grandmother or casual lover
The lies and deception can take a lifetime to uncover
Other times it can be right there, in your face, front and center
Something you'll regret to ignore
And these actions hardly ever, mostly never, affect the perpetrator
But they literally **** off an innocence and should be charged with ******
Instead they get to go live a good life type of forever
While I get blamed for trust issues that I have no control over

©2024

Loving me
Is some kind of chore apparently
From what I see
It seems to be done begrudgingly
It is mostly
Basic surface level pageantry
So there is a "we"
But my end can be changed out if need be
The worst part has to be
That I can't help but give completely
And organically
Which always finds it's way around to biting me in the *****

©2024

An eye for an eye is universally considered to be justified
But you'll find that everybody's blind and nothing's changed, not a single mind
Hear the gear suddenly grind to a halt but refuse to acknowledge the bind
Sittin' dead center of the dumpster fire proclaimin' it'll be fine
In general we prefer to pretend to be blind
You can't get off this ride, I still tried, found myself tied to life for life with no guide
Cried for just a pinch, wasn't given an inch, never made a sound, in that silence is where hope died
Beaten down by everything around, can't hide the tanned hide or tattered and torn pride
Misty eyed and sleep deprived, insecurities weaponized by myself for myself, individualized personality traits willfully lobotomized to fit in with them other guys
Expertly hypnotized to pull the wool over your own two black eyes
Don't question why a lie and the truth are on the same side, like both sides never tried
Confusion spreads world wide, a close encounter of the mindless kind
Unchecked pride in a prise for the loser will compromise any humanity that tries
Let's go to the chart shall we guys? BOOM! The proof is in the lines, inhumane insanity on the rise
Allowing a personalized demise to arise, spoken to yourself or another, a lies a lie no matter the size
In a black and white society there's no blue skies
The grass is fuucked beyond repair, no green anywhere, I've checked front and back and both sides
Who decides where the status quo marker resides
Keep 'em mystified by vague who, what, where, when and why's
Demonize even the idea of a question so questionable answers to puzzling actions are never scrutinized
God won't mind if I send one his way as long as it's not mine, so everyone's waiting for a purge scenario type grand prize
All of a sudden life can be nullified, rationalized as good over evil by twisted minds
A shady shadow enterprise, faceless behind an eyes wide shut disguise
This is what ignorance buys
A centralized love of hate, morality slides, sheep clothing stock on the rise
Right outside one of the good guys with a gun hides while inside our future cries
No hope, no surprise, no answer to prayer screamed at the skies
Only able to watch the eyes of innocence as it dies, proving evil not only survives but thrives

©2023