my heart hurts
i don't know what to do
the occupancy of you in my mind filled me in more ways than i realised
and now it's gone
i feel hollow, like i've been carved out with a knife
i just never imagined yours to be the hand that held it though
never imagined that the same fingertips that caressed this skin would so violently desecrate me
it's like you were an artist
so beautiful, so alluring
painting wonderful imagery of this love with your words
with the way your eyes would linger a little too long
you made me feel indestructible
indescribable almost
you made me feel like i only need jump to reach the stars
you made me feel like you'd catch me if i fall
you made me believe in a lie so blatantly obvious that even you, the one who constructed this web of misery, believed in it yourself
you made me feel like i finally belonged
then you snatched it away
clawed your care out of my being with talons so sharp that the shock shook me to my very core
pain resonating so clearly like a slap in the face of my beliefs, a belief that happiness was on the horizon
you brought me to back to this dark twisted reality
back to a reality where a girl like me doesn't get the love she deserves
the love she needs, the love she craves to feel human emotion in all it's horrific glory
and you tell me that i deserve better, you tell me that you don't want to see me with a person who doesn't appreciate every inch of my being
when it's now apparently clear that you were that person all along.

you broke me

By Arcassin Burnham

Did I ever get a chance to tell you sorry after our last meeting.
I was mad at the world for a reason because they gave up on me.
Staring at a wall for two hours , talking for two hours.
no time to comfort souls and their retreat to sorrow , bet it got sour.
Despise you , you , you , you,
but you hate, me , me , me ,me,
But everything about you , you , you , you,
Is based off greed , greed , green , green,
And I don't follow.
I disowned you , you , you , too.
to hear those lies , lies , lies , lies,
when you walk the door , door , door , door,
I see no fear , fear , fear , fear,
from you anymore , more , more , more,
I feel bad for you.
Doesn't have nothing to do with me , me , me , me.

Did you ever take the time to consider what I Wanted for myself.
darkness falls , and all you got is your pride and courage without a wealth.
And now I'm angry at myself for two hours , pacing for two hours.
I need my soul comforted for some love in the next hour.

Despise you , you , you , you,
but you hate, me , me , me ,me,
But everything about you , you , you , you,
Is based off greed , greed , green , green,
And I don't follow.
I disowned you , you , you , too.
to hear those lies , lies , lies , lies,
when you walk the door , door , door , door,
I see no fear , fear , fear , fear,
from you anymore , more , more , more,
I feel bad for you.

©abpoetry2017
https://arcassin.blogspot.com/2017/08/darkness-falls-3-photo-by-sidney-kirsch.html

By Arcassin Burnham


Stepping through some cemeteries,
Lost your soul In February,
Looking for attention in a school where the kids make babies,
never married,
Closed eyes will be starry,
riding open waves are scary,
fall into the current , drown all your emotions,
its way more than death can carry,
friends are snitches , mercenaries,
backstabbing you in secrecy,
Even to you when your married,
cause what you and your wife have . he feels jealousy,
separate the real from peasants,
No time for argumental dispositions,
guess we're on a mission,
no further discretions,
Everyone ain't your friend , learn your lesson,

Friends do what their friends do and their intentions
is to hurt you,
hit you where it hurts the most then walk around while they
disgrace you,
people get in on to be cool or their scared, one of the two,
Got you thinking that suicides the only way to commute,
In other words i was a victim too,
hopelessly suicidal, with no further guidance from a parent too,
i swear i could relate to you, your not alone,
scared to talk , scared to go home,
There shouldn't be any damn reason for why you should handle this on your own.

©abpoetry2017
https://arcassin.blogspot.com/2017/08/far-from-friend.html
eternus 2d

Fuck you
for making me feel like
I stood a chance

I never did.
Marie 4d

A broken heart can never be fully put back together,
He took apart of you that you didn’t know existed,
You sacrifice your morals and beliefs,
Yet it’s still not enough.

Saying his name is like a bullet,
Deadly to my heart and mind,
Thinking about you recreates the pain,
You were selfish and arrogant.

You were manipulative and conniving,
You were everything I swore I’d never be,
I chose you with intentions so pure,
A kiss on the forehead and love within our eyes.

Never expecting you to take away everything I built,
Unknowing that the ground would be taken from right underneath me,
Trusting that I was the only women you would ever need,
Letting you in close enough to hurt me was the worst thing I could've done.

So foolishly thinking that my heart was safe with you,
My biggest mistake was giving you the chance to destroy me,
You took that chance without a second thought,
Congratulations on betraying the only women who actually tried for you.

Talley 4d

i will watch you
  endlessly, hopelessly, and gradually
i will hide you from the evils of
  the world
i will not forget that they can hide
  next door
or on your bedroom floor
   even if your daddy's little girl.

Talley 4d

i never knew that
i'd wear jealousy
so well
that my veil would
perfectly match my
broken in heels
or that my eyes would be smoked
with various fumes
or that when i spoke
your world would continue
to move
unlike the first time
that i met you.

It’s gotten to the point where she won’t speak to me
And I wouldn’t speak to her if she did
Already once I’ve tried only to be ignored
And I have decided I really won’t try again
It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to see her
Not how I have no interest in hanging out
The point that I do not want to be around her
And she acts like she never sees me anyway

And yet there is not ill will
I bear none, I detect none
I want none, but I don’t know about her

She doesn’t care about me at all
And I really can’t say I care for her
What are we then
Not friends or enemies or strangers
Or are we strangers again
Can we be strangers again
After all this time, purely nothing
Not a thing to each other
I think I’d like that
Or maybe I’d hate it
Maybe both, I don’t know
But I do understand
That something we worked so hard to build
Shows no sign of itself nowadays
So it appears we are strangers again
Well, I suppose there’s a bittersweet tinge
To knowing it and feeling it

I wish I could see with new eyes
I wish I could remember what it looked like
I wish I could see what they do
I wish I could figure out what it is they see
When they look at me and find nothing

Because now it seems we are just strangers,
Complete strangers when we pass by each other,
Complete strangers when a friend needs another friend,
Complete strangers now for better or for worse.

I am an empty missile. A lethal weapon with no ammunition.
I ask for a drink—you pour me a glass of gasoline and I guzzle down the whole mug.
You were just trying to stoke the fire, start the flame within my chest.
I do not know the difference between desire and a death wish.
I poured you a cup of trust and you loaded me with bullets.
Ignited the feral beast.
Turned out the lights and told me to shoot straight.

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Is that what you say?

So,
When I was lying in bed, covered in my own blood, choking on my despair. When it hurt too much to speak or eat because there was no skin left on my lips. When they were so messed up at school the next day that I had to lie to my friends, that I had to lie about the scars that I'd caused, the scars that I would tear off when I was upset, only to be replaced by deeper ones.
Does that sound strong to you?

So,
When my arguments at home were so bad that my mother thought I hated her, that when I tried to apologise I broke down for fear of messing up and making things worse. When my father stormed into my room, finding me in tears and hyperventilating yet still screamed at me for making my mother cry. When I passed out, waking in my mothers arms on my bedroom floor with my sister  and my father having a screaming match. When everyone was crying but me because I was so far past crying that I couldn't move.
So you think that was strong?

So,
When my best-friend turned against me, jealous that I had known our shared friends longer, claiming that I hit and bullied her, that I abused and threatened her, leaving me friendless and alone in a class of people that I'd never thought to become closer to. When I was called to see the head teacher, confused and eager to look after someone I called my best-friend, but was accused of smashing her head against a brick wall and dragging her across the floor and I was too stunned to defend myself, and ended up having multiple panic attacks, and sat there blubbering like a fool, thinking that I was going to be expelled over my best-friend's lies.
Do you think I felt strong?

So next time you hear someone say,
"oh, well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"
tell them,
to shut the hell up.

All the things I mention are all based on real events that have happened to me, and the one thing I can't stand is when people don't know what to say, so they pretend to know what they are talking about by brushing me of with a over used saying that isn't even true. If you do this; please stop.
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