Jo King Dec 4

When he left my mother told me something.
She said it's okay and this will pass
He's nothing compared to you
But as I laid there
On my bedroom floor
In the room where he claimed me
Where little girl dreams were shattered
I didn't believe believe her
Instead I screamed about how I hated life
How he left me like dust on my fingertips
Like the ash of my burned down home

Two weeks later and I'm a shell
Of who I was
Of who I am
Of who I'll ever be
My ribs poked out like piano keys
Just waiting to be played
And my collar bones
Oh they were waiting like glasses
Glasses expecting hard liquor
That I of course drowned myself in

The day her name left his lips
I was done for
I wanted to become nothing but earth and essence.
But my best friend cradled me
She promised I would find love again
That this hurt, no matter how bad it is,
Will only be temporary
I didn't believe her
So I rebelled against them all
It was only me

4 months later and I'm sitting in the car
My best friend sits beside me
I'm genuinely laughing
And she looks proud
Then she tells me how he's talking about me.
From my big black boots
My infatuation with peaches
To how I harbor guitar pics on every inch of my body.
I relapse into him immediately
I wanted him so bad

6 and a half months later and he tells my best friend
That he hates me
My name swims out of his mouth on a raft of profanities.
But it didn't hurt as much as I thought
I think I grew
Little by little I became the new girl
The one that writes again and breathes the air a little deeper than the others.

6 and half months plus 3 days
I caress my fingers over my body
The shower beats down on me
"I want to be your friend" I whisper to myself.
He was nothing but a thunderstorm
But I am more than he
I am the sun
The moon
The stars
I am the heavens
I am the thing everyone revels in
And I made it through hell and back
And now I can finally say goodbye

Masked, he came towards me
weapon in hand, hands bloodthirsty.
The white of his mask showed no purity,
only a sinister mystery.

Most would run, or scream even
but I could not; legs tied with fear
tongue tied into a knot,
I remained silent as the assailant
drew near.

Close enough to feel his breath
warm upon my cheek
he whispered:
‘my name is Hope.
This is what I look like.’

I could feel his blade
cold, pressed against my thigh
yet he entwined his leather gloved fingers
with mine.

Swaying gently, bathed in an unknown,
gentle light.
But the light grew harsher;
I notice it reflecting off my

heart.
The silver blade, burrowed into my chest.
My knees buckle and
the floor is ice.

Warmth drains from me and
Hope crouches down - removes his
mask.
Faceless and empty,
empty with unknowing.

From nowhere, Hope’s voice echoed
everywhere.
He said:
‘my name is Hope and
Hope never dies.’

Cordelia Nov 15

There is a blade pointed at my heart
She’s behind me
I scream his name, I beg for help
He walks away

I am desperate
She is lighter than I expected
Fling her frail body to the ground
Broken christmas ornaments.

Her hand has fallen off
It is clinging to my coat
Stomp, stomp, stomp it out
Run.

He is in the next room.
He waited for me.

A dream I had last night
Carolina Nov 1

Nicotine corrupts her lungs.
He lustfully smiles to the thought of her cherry.
Sad lonely girl looking for love
“In order to feel something the night I should marry”.

Fun fun fun
This will not erase the pain,
Love love love
you will kill yourself in vain.

Liquid substance burns her throat.
She feels safe when she’s flying.
Soft caresses on her cheek,
soon turn to violent touch, devouring.

It’s done it’s done it’s done
Asleep consumed love affair,
Impure impure impure
paralyzed by his side with her cold empty stare.

Desperately looking for life
since she died a long time ago,
trying her best to revive
but she’s rotten to the core.

Its name is sadness.
Violent sadness.
It's creeping up on me again. It is giving me anxiety because I don't want it to crawl in my skin again and be comfortable. With the anxiety brings depression. It's always been there, never completely going away. But I can ignore and it slows, grows smaller everytime I smile and laugh. But every time someone leaves me for someone shinier, the sadness spreads like wild fire, like the mold on strawberries I cannot eat. I wish I was born thin like her, perfect like her, golden like her, the one who steals them away. As I watch the monster crawling towards me, I analyze it. I watch the way it moves slow, trying not to be discovered like the way I do. It moves swiftly, not in pulses. I watch it creep, pulling itself from whatever depths it came, like the way I do. And that's the scariest part. I watch it's iridescent nails crawl closer. It has a diamond ring.
So do I.

new poem 3 of 3 read here
https://medium.com/@johnnyscarlotti/dogs-humans-71b288e0edd8

A storm is boiling above my head, a
raging, red storm which has bubbled and brewed
in the skies around the place where I have
been damned to for centuries. Electricity
surrounds my limbs and keeps me in the spot
where my hands have been nailed, standing barefoot
in an electric ocean which buzzes
and burns the skin off my feet. Like molten
wax, the sky drips down my arms over and
over until the flesh fades away and
all that is left is the sound of my screams,
tortured and angry, tearing apart all
physical matter around me. Metal
rain and anguish hit my body as power
surges through the coarse ground and I am left
as a sacrifice, with torn skin and lost
hope, underneath an eternal storm of thunder.

~~ Solar System, 6/10 ~~

A violent need
Living inside my heart,
My spine,
Draws me to you,
Drags me to you.
Minds lost
To dangerous thoughts,
Eyes dark
With evil desire.
Rhyming bodies
Quick as lightning,
Alliteration with tongues,
Painting
With closed eyes.
Hot and cold shifts
To black and white,
Turning me
Into your prey,
Eating me alive.
Your teeth
Sink into my lip
And the taste
Of blood,
Pleasure,
Stains my mouth,
Making me beg
And beg
And beg
For more.

~~ Perfection. ~~

It's something maple,
something thick when
you breathe, like dark
chocolate, like tinnitus,
like overandoverandover
again, hard to explain.

I have never met anyone
that could fade and still
burn like you do.

Smooth violence,
bottomless in all its
eternity, moving in water
so deep the ripples never
make it to the surface.

It's not weightless. It never
is, but it waits there, half-
suspended, fixed and
unfixed, solid but slippery
in your hands.

Hold your breath. She
knows you in a way the
angels don't. There's
something she coaxes out
of your chest, something
dark she rolls her tongue
around.

The act of inaction and the
odds, particularly of getting
by unscathed, may be slim
and far between, but the stares  
last longer, everything in  
h
  o
    u
       r
         s

Benji James May 24

(Yeah)
It seems I had to go and write
Untitled part two
Just to express
How much I hate you
Shouldn't have got that tattoo
The one that everybody
told me not to
Yep shouldn't have gotten
Your name Inked into my skin
That was a mistake
That shouldn't have been
But it seems
I was too stubborn to listen
Said I wouldn't be
another one of your victims

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe that you could hurt me.

Remember the time
You said that you'd be mine
So I left the girl
I could have been with
Just to get stabbed in the back
By you, never thought,
you could get so cruel.
You selfish bitch
You left me to rot in a ditch
Broken hearted.
Goodbye dearly departed
Nah you are freaking retarded
Do you think I'll let you
walk away, that easily?
I want you to feel
Everything you did to me
Like Remember when you said
That you loved me
You said it so convincingly
And did it so consistently
Only to rape me emotionally
and make it hurt physically
When your words hit
They hit like a brick
I shouldn't have sat
and taken it silently
I should have retaliated violently

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Oh here it comes
Said I'd be your guardian angel
But now I hope you burn in hell
For leaving me to burn in the flames
To drown in your little love game
Yeah said I'd rise from the ashes
A Phoenix of vengeance
I never pretended I was in love
I never betrayed you in anyways
And how do you repay me
But walk away,
forgot every word
You ever said to me?
Do you know how much that hurt?
Do you know how much that burnt?
No, no you don't
Because you didn't careless
How I felt
And I gave you everything
Only to have it
thrown back in my face
Think your gonna
get away with that?
Nah shit I won't
let you get away with it

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Stop psychologically messing
With my head
Because you plagued my mind
One, two, too many time
Everything we had
between you and I
Was all based on a lie
And I can't even explain how or why
I should have known
That I couldn't trust you
I should have seen all the cracks
Starting to show through
I should have known
That I couldn't let you in
So that you could
Just try to find a way to win
Should never have shown
you all of my scars
Just so you could cut in deeper
That made me bleed a lot easier
Yeah well, guess what girl?
This ends here, I've had enough
Because there was
never gonna be an us
I can't trust you now
I couldn't trust you then
So I'm gonna leave
you lying in the dirt
If you ever come running back again

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

©2017 Written By Benji James

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