Gentle soft uncoordinated lips
Through all seasons
You call upon me
To be kind sweet and mean
When I am gone
Will you still call for me
Or will you share all of you
To someone new
And call on her

Eavesdropping always

changes something, except when --


it's done secretly.

a door opened with one magic word
and a world appeared
my secret garden
trees, grass, sky
but they were mine and I understood them
they understood me
it all made sense
the other side from where I came
was madness
everybody else's madness
but I know now how to deal
with the hostile world
I've hidden in for so long
like a spy, an interloper
mirroring how to behave
just to survive
I have somewhere to go
where I am at last home

Together we can

untangle our confessions --


before the mirror.

Love!

I cannot eat,
I cannot sleep,
Night, day?
I can not say!

The wondering of when am I going to see you again?!
Yesterday blurs into today,
Today blurs into tomorrow.
The vicious cycle of over thinking continues yet again!

I’m tiered!
I’m drained!
I’m emotionally exhausted!

I want to rest,
I want to sleep!
But it’s too late I’ve dived in way too deep,
And I would love to know what’s next!

The feeling of being sick to my stomach,
Knowing you can’t talk to me.
The feeling of disappointment,
Because the message wasn’t from you.

Do you see what you’ve lead to!
Do you see what you’ve done to me!
Do you see what I have to battle with everyday?

As much as it causes pain I still look for the best,
Your eyes looking at me like I’m the best there ever was,
You smile so bright it warms me up inside,
And your touch so hot on my skin that I cannot breathe!

Yet your still not free,
Your still no man of mine.
Yet there’s so much hope,
You’ll one day be my man!

Covered by the night

I visit you secretly --


That is the rumour.

Time should have been enough
Time and space and ignoring you
But I can't.

Ignoring you is like holding my breath
A challenge, possible until it inevitably isn't.
I can't.

Your hair is longer but your eyes are the same.
Your smile is quieter but you stand taller now,
laugh louder.

I wrote you a letter, and I want to send it.
I want to stamp it and send it away from me and to you
But I can't.

I can't let myself go, that small secret.
I can't.

I'm sure not good with confrontation,  
But this lack of communication,
has me uptight and suffocatin',  
Tell me what's a girl gotta do?  
'Sent subtle hints and you still haven't a clue,  
Don't I deserve a little explanation?  
Just a little one on one,  
A bit of understandin',  
Unless you are bored and already done.

You make it hard to stay and even harder to leave,
You make it terribly, awfully, difficult to believe,
That out of everyone you were ready to get down on one knee,
When you once loved me,

It's either you let me go and cast out another line,
Or finally make up your mind,

But if I still make your heart beat,
If the thought of me still give you butterflies,
If I'm still the one you want to keep,
If there is still forever in your eyes
Then, sweep me off my feet,  
and take my breath away,
Like you do regardless every day,
What isn't there to understand?
Make up your mind,
And take my hand,
How's one to get through to you?  
What's a girl gotta do?

He told her his secret —
All that was hidden in his heart
It was out of his love for her
Then she cut off his hair —
All that made him strong
Her love was a camouflage
She came for the secret —
All that made him who he was
To see him go awry, suffer, and perish
S. A. M. P. S. O. N.

Your ivory
Was devouring
First as a smirk
Then a ploy
Grazing a nape
I was your boy

“When will I
See you again?”
You said
“C’mon over”
I replied
So you made the drive

We were lovers
s o m e t i m e s

A birthday card
Now gathering dust
In a bin
I often think
Of what could
Have been

To have your teeth
Grasping my
Whole being
And your
Primal scent
In my nose
Lingering

“When will I
See you again?”
. . . I wonder . . .

Knowing the answer
Is never will we be
More than a secret
Every bead of sweat
Locked up in memory
Safe from your faith
Safe from your family

Which makes me
Sigh
And cry
And die
A little inside

This is purgatory

Your purple satin
Slipped through
My fingers like the
Sands of time

s e v e n
years
since
you
disappeared

And still a part of you
Is always on my mind