In the Eyes of God
She brought me here with love so wide,
To stand with her, to be my guide.
But firstβthese pews, this sacred place,
Where I must reckon, seek some grace.
RCIA on Thursday nights,
Learning saints and candle lights.
I followed faith I didnβt know,
Just to be hers, to let love grow.
One evening, quiet in his room,
I met the priestβno fire, no gloom.
Father Lybarger, calm and still,
He asked me gently, βWhat you will?β
I said, βThereβs something I still bearβ
A weight too deep for just a prayer.
I wore the flag, I did my partβ¦
But Iβve killed a man. And it scars my heart.β
His silence wasnβt cold or long,
But measured, like a sacred song.
βYou served,β he said. βYou carried flame.
But war, my son, is not your shame.β
βIt was duty,β I said. βOrders, battleβ
But still I see his face, and more.
Can I stand before the Lord,
And vow a love I once ignored?β
He breathed, then nodded, soft and grave,
βGod knows the burdens soldiers brave.
He sees the soul beneath the fight,
And walks with you through every night.
You didnβt choose to k ill in hateβ
You served the world, you bore its weight.
Confess not guilt, but give your pain,
Let mercy wash you clean again.β
I left with tears that didnβt fall,
But sat behind my every wall.
And when she looked at me that night,
She saw me whole, and not the fight.
She asked me why I stayed behind,
What I had needed there to find.
I gave a smile, I made it smallβ
Said, βJust a talk, thatβs all, thatβs all.β
She searched my face, but didnβt press,
Just held my silence, nothing less.
She knew that something lived inside,
But let it waitβshe let me hide.
For love like hers and grace like this,
Are forged through pain, not only bliss.
And when I say βI doβ that day,
Iβll know what sacrifice can weigh.
I gave a life I canβt reclaim,
But God still whispers through my shame:
βYou are not brokenβjust made new,
And worthy of the love in view.β
Β© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.
