I want what you have
I want your dreams; the ones that scare you shitless
I want your secrets; the ones you can’t share with anyone
I want the thoughts that keep you awake at night; the ones that excite you
I want the ideas you want to share; the ones you know you never will share

I need what you have
I need your arms around my waist; the arms that will never be there
I need your lips pressed against mine; the lips that mine will never touch
I need your dopey smile smiling at me; the smile that will never look in my direction
I need your stupid ugly khaki jacket around my shoulders; the jacket that will never be near me

I wish that I have what you have
I wish I had your idiotic confidence; the confidence that I will never get back
I wish I had your insanely smart brain; the brain that has put up barriers against me
I wish I had your annoyingly inappropriate jokes; the jokes that you stopped telling me
I wish I had your ability to captivate the world; the captivation you no longer use on me

I yearn for what we could have been
I yearn to have an unconditional love; one that will never break
I yearn to have uncontrollable kisses; ones that we are unable to stop
I yearn to have cheesy promposals; ones that make everyone jealous of us
I yearn for extravagant valentine's day gifts; ones that make me want to scream and cry

You don't want what I have
My dreams; the ones that will never happen
My secrets; the ones that will tear people apart
My thoughts that keep me up at night; the ones that can even terrify me
My ideas that I want to share; the ones that would wreak havoc on everyone

You don’t need what I have
My thick messy hair; the hair that constantly falls in my face
My dirty brown converse; the ones with the laces falling apart
My empty grey eyes; the eyes that stare straight at you watching you ignore me
My annoying voice; the voice that says bitchy comments to protect herself from your friends

You don’t wish to have what I have
My brutal honesty; the honesty that burns bridges
My crazy distrust; the distrust that worries my mother
My unbelievable pessimism; the pessimism that causes people to leave
My need to control everyone; the need to control that consumes all of my thoughts

You don’t yearn for what we could have been
You don’t yearn for unconditional love; not with me
You don’t yearn for uncontrollable kisses; but with her
You don’t yearn to give cheesy promposals; you would do anything to be with her
You don’t yearn to give extravagant valentine's day gifts; you would give anything to be with her

No matter how much I want...need...wish...yearn for you
You will always be wanting, needing, wishing, and yearning for her more
She is the pulsing red dot you are moving towards
I am barely more than a blip on your radar.

Mike D 2d

You're my Dirty Little Secret
Been looking my whole life
For pleasure like you give me
But please don't tell my wife.

You're my Dirty Little Secret.
Can't tell nobody else.
Can't tell my friends and family.
Got to keep it to myself.

You're my Dirty Little Secret.
The one I love to be with.
Spend all my free time and money
but always keep you a secret.

You're my Dirty Little Secret.
The one who will see me through.
In the good times and the bad
I'm spending all of them with you.

You're my Dirty Little Secret
The One I love the most.
When times are dark and down
you are there for me the most.

You're my Dirty Little Secret
the One I obsess about.
Every moment we're not together
you're all I think about.

You're my Dirty Little Secret
you're the only one who gets me.
You're the only one that's left
since everyone else has left me.

You're my Dirty Little Secret
we've been so happy together
but now the tides have turned
Fairy-tales don’t last forever.

You're my Dirty Little Secret
even that name don't seem right
I'll start calling you just 'Dirty'
since you're out there in plain sight.

You're my dirty little whore
And you sink your fangs into me
Like a vampire draining blood
You're taking my life from me.

You're a leaching parasite
It's been going on so long
All the things that used to matter
Now all of them are gone

Money, friends and family
One by one they left
My patient and understanding wife
Who promised to be with me 'til death

Finally reached her breaking point
Sobbing painfully she cried,
"I loved you and supported you.
In return you took and lied.”

My response is no response at all
I turn and look away
Don’t want to see her tearful face
Or hear what she has to say

The pain is much too great
No way that I can face it
But that’s why I have you Dirty
With one touch you can erase it

But now you want more from me
To do what you did before
You keep giving me less and less
But demanding more and more

I gave up everything for you
I thought we were a team
But I feel the tides are shifting
and things aren’t what they seem

You used to lift me when I fell
and carry me away
Fly high above the clouds
When lost you showed the way

But now that I am yours
The only thing I have is you
You grin an evil smile
You played me for the fool

No more soaring above the clouds
No more Utopian bliss
A clown cast upon a stage
For your torment and your jest

On my knees I cry and grovel,
“Dirty how can you do this to me?!
You and I we had a plan!
This ain’t the way it’s supposed to be!”

You were a seductive mistress
Satisfied my every need
Silenced the screams inside my head
All I had to do was bleed

A drop’s no longer enough
You want me to open up a vein
Tear apart my heart
And give me back the pain

With that ironic twist
You laugh the Devil’s laugh
What I ran and tried to hide from
Now present what was past

Only now a double hit
Perhaps triple or quadruple too
You give me back the pain
Along with something new

Forcing me to see
by opening my blinded eyes
wove ignorance with denial
A hefty pile on top with lies

This giant mess I made
To hide me from the truth
No Novocain or gas
You rip out each wisdom tooth

The emptiness in me
A never ending search
Tried everything to fill it
Traveled the ends of the earth

But not one step I had to take
Or open up my door
Right in front of my face
Was what I had been searching for

Friends, family and wife
who offered me true love
The first ones I cut off
and the farthest that I shoved

But all of them are gone
and you took your magic too
You left me with the pain
The Piper’s paid His due

You were a seductive mistress
provocative and flirty
but you lived up to your name
because you did me Dirty.

Written - January 11, 2017

All rights reserved.
deery 4d

yesterday my mom told me a secret
that of you starve yourself your mouth will begin to taste sweet
the sweetest taste you may ever experience
but it makes your breath rancid
i don't know if she told me
because she knows i hate bad breath
or because i have a sweet tooth

To share this world's facts
My thought is able to attacts
To a treasure of the secrets
And understand a truth
Someone is in the wait
That how I really act
Under the moon' light

gimme a flaming pumpkin seed
for i wanna do some trouble
create havoc down below me
hypseronic devil craft
created by man to kill
thermonuclear detonations
wherever i wish
got 122 nuclear warheads
snug in my belly
each one a city killer
or able to destroy an army
kicked out by springs
easy as having a beer
nobody or nothing
can touch me
unlike me upon high
easily the most evil weapon
riding my own shckwave
skipping the atmsophere
into space where i reign
the winner of all wars
before they begin
but winning without mercy
if they start
soviet russia my target
and any one else
who wants to dance
my flaming pumpkin seed
power beyond god
created by america
to rule you all

based on a secret aircraft. a dangerous one.
Secret Garden Jan 11

I like a boy who’s taken, but he takes me sometimes too.

I like this boy, but I don’t like that he makes me blue.

He’s cold, and he’s rough and I like it all.

Danger is imminent as my world continues to fall.

He makes my body feel so good in the worst best way.

He makes my heart feel so bad I wish things could change.

They could, but they won’t, and I know that, I really do.

But is it so wrong to wish for not just sex, but love too…

Gage B Jan 10

Like body, Like heart
Such is the way that one tenses
just as one crushes
and set aside your thoughts as only temporary
Until you exercise that muscle
and your heart
creates untemporary love

Like body, Like heart
Such is the way that tolls take within
that sacred temple you keep hidden
And bring her in secret to be alone
Until she leaves without notice
and your heart
aches for her return

You know that it was unconditional. Were you afraid? What did I do to have you decide that leaving was the better choice?

Gage B. 2018

There’s a word that’s a sound that doesn’t exist,
Or, hasn’t manifested to, consciously shift,
What it means to be inn love, why our minds tend to drift,
Off into the future like, yesterday is still happening and today reminisced a prediction of what’ll happen if my spirit continues to lift,
This thought I couldn’t dismissed, for there’s validation in imagination projecting a reality where these three time structures coexist,
A possibility I couldn’t resist,
A space where I know happiness will sit,
Decayed the  memories of pain when I saw a kiss,
Replayed the memory again because my understanding didn’t fit,
A second turned into a lifetime, time... it was time I had previously missed,
Rubbing my head because my intentions were missed,
By time I meant mind and lips, a tick I couldn’t forget,
She will be loved, she will be such,
A simple but difficult thought to brush,
Because I’m always like “So this is what the force brought to us”,
Thankful for the ego that fought for trust,
That taught me much,
And the broken barbies who were lost in lust,
Because they pushed me to walk when touched,
Zombie apocalypse, I can’t cough enough,
Too much snot, too many bugs that mental illness can’t fall on crush, -hush…
Let me hush, because I say too many words and I should say less,
Paying attention, and it has been wondering like I should pay less,
I feel like Romeo, because I’m running Juliet’s way next,
Like “My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love is as deep, the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite”,
And then I’ll stand with nothing more to confess,
Hoping it’s my intentions she somehow digest,
If I fail to express the hell in invest,
It’s the tragedy of young love that’ll be reassessed,
To be or not to be will be the final thought I contest,
I need rest… because I enjoy that existence, where I’m able to create in an instance,
A reality where we’re no longer separated by distance, or the laws in a dimension,
Where I’m no longer an anarchist and can say screw the resistance because fighting for freedom is no longer vital than assistance,
In that space I believe we’d stop pretending, and stop and listen,
Find time to analyze you and I and understand what we have before the aftermath lead us to separate paths searching for what’s currently existing,
A server condition, I admire ambition,
Cleared all my wishing, because I finished the mission,
I only ask for permission, to experience a handful of experiences on your journey,
And for a warning, warn me,
Before you fly and enjoy the freedoms in the sky,
So that I’m able to give a proper goodbye and maintain a kingdom built for you and I,
This home would remain open, and if my soul is chosen for another script,
I would be sure to leave a word on the walls to explain what love is,
Or a poem like this,
To explain a word that’s a sound that doesn’t exist.

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