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Caitlin 1h
They say the silence is awkward
when it consumes an entire room.
But the thoughts are almost palpable.
I'm surprised no one has noticed sooner.
Thoughts of inequity.
Fear of rejection.
A concious sedation of self loathing and envy.
Faces running on auto pilot
in the few moments before everyone reaches for their phone
to drown out the quiet.
You can hear the girls comparing thighs
and hair
and dresses
because although we know the media is a generous artist
of flaws for the human form
we still worry that they are right about us.
Guys watching every twitch of lips
and fingertips
half of the room wants to scream
while the other half wants to run
but everyone is confused as to why.
Awkward silence is preferable, though,
to deadened conversation.
The ones where we mention the economy
or the war
or the friend that died last week
and no one knows if it was really an accidental suicide.
Where we paint a picture of bleak servitude
and lament our meager lots
So we stay quiet
except for the dinging of phones
until its time to go home
so that we can study for school
and get a degree that we think we have to have.
If only someone would question
just how much pieces of paper
dictate our lives
Concert tickets.
But no.
We all just linger
in the Awkward Silence.
Hey, you look great
Uh, you're laugh is wonderful
I like being around you
I wish I could be with you more often
Give me 10 minutes by myself
And I could write my feelings
In a more romantic way
I can write my feelings, but my mouth never allows me to speak them
every foreign word means love
if you don't know the language
you stand and nod and try to hold on
but you're swept up in love

how easily we speak this mystic language?
and how illiterate we are in our own interactions-
affectionate half-romantic advances turning into mundane
check ins and not even real conversations,
after which both of us return to dwelling in made up homes,
alternate americas and fantastic fables where we can be anything
even in love?
The Toxic Bitch Dec 2018
You got me feeling
Like a kid again
****** stomach feelings
I've dated alot before
And i know how to talk
But with you
It's weird
I don't know what to say
Nor what to do
Am awkward all over again
Happy from the tinest
Stupidest things
Legs touching
And am on cloud 9
How did i change so fast
With you
For you
But again
I will always
To lose myself
Or you
Am not what you want
Toxic yeti Dec 2018
Got a notice
On the freaking
That a piece of embarrassing
Went viral
That I did not
Want to
Is like Ebola
Now everyone
Thinks that I
Madly in love
With the Dalai Lama.
I am a loser.  

Like a freak
I try to stick my
Pretty face
In a hole
And breaks
My **** nose.
Fidget spinner!!!!

Then fumbled
With dinner
And the food
Because of art
Broken nose
Flying at my
Arke Dec 2018
You walked right by me
I pretended not to notice
not to make things awkward
because even now
I still think of you

I didn't see if your eyes
tried to connect with mine
but I felt us connect regardless
walking away was all I could do
to avoid the intense feelings held

I can pretend my heart doesn't sink
when I think of you; mind, body, soul
I can act like I don't see you first
when I walk into the room
or like my feelings are buried deep

I'll be anyone you want, love
but I refuse to ever be the one
who loves, hurts, and cares more
because my heart can't handle that again
so I walked by you and said nothing
Tsunami Dec 2018
Your mouth fumbles
When you call me baby
The word is foreign.
You are afraid.
A mouse caught in the gaze of a snake.
Will it slice your tongue if you say it too hard?
Or too soft?

It rolls up your throat
Pushes past your teeth with great strength
Awkward and sounding slightly out of breath
You mumble it between "hey' and "how are you"
Squished and small
Like it doesn't deserve recognition or even its own space.

You've wrapped it in fear
Hoping that if you say it nicely
Maybe somehow it will be less like a missile
Maybe this time it won't hurt.

It is exotic to that mouth of yours.
A rare commodity,
A precious rock we have to excavate
Our own romantic version of the sword in the stone
ZenOfferings Dec 2018
I went for a skate
Down to the grocery store
I forgot my shoes
Pandora Nov 2018
Rain falls, I cry
Finally I match the sky
I felt so out of place for so long
The dripping makes a calming song
Making me feel at home
When I'm far from people I never feel alone
Far away I run from fear
However I can’t help but shed a tear
The future is never something I could know
I shiver, the rain turns to snow
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