They don't go down easy
these words meant to soothe
they'll come back up later
churning and roiling
like the hapless frog
suspended in his jar
awaiting the curious blade
of the laboratory scholar
this unnatural heap of flesh
pumped with chemicals
smeared with freakish makeup
collects the gawking stares
or the brief furtive glances
my mind shrieks
you came to look
you don't see
this awkward scene
will play in my mind
like the test pattern
on old TV's
humming its eerie monotone
black and white
when I was a girl
my mother would make me
pull weeds in the garden
and I hated to pull them
to me at least,
the weeds were prettier
than the roses in her garden
I know if she let them
grow wild and free
they would kill off the roses
I guess I kinda
felt bad for the weeds
getting plucked from the ground
and tossed to the side
just so this average flower
could look more beautiful
cause who didn't like a rose?
I guess I felt bad
because I never really
felt like a rose
and had always been
treated like a weed
Its a funny kind of weird seeing you with someone else
There are painted fingers now where my palm used to rest,
beautiful curls where this head used to lie
Its a funny kind of awkward walking past you now
Always thought it would be me there...right beside you
Its a funny kind of awkward living without you now
You're just another person moving on without me
Words etched into the wall (above)
by the augmented fifth
Merely (below) displaced fifth
Voweling (in) out the love song
Caramelizing (out) paint
German Shepherd tilts
his (between) her head
Doesn't quite like (around)
The augmented fifth
I remember it so well,
We were talking about spirit animals.
I was expecting you to scoff, because most boys do.
But you didn't.
In fact, you loved it.
You told me all about your friends,
All obsessed with spirit animals.
I asked you what you thought yours was
And you looked me straight in the eye
And said 'A deer.'
A deer? A deer!
Oh, I can't explain how much the thought of you
Having a deer as your own spirit animal
Made my own heart soar.
I never knew how much I loved deer as a species
Until that day.
Thinking back on it, of course it's a deer.
You have such a majesty and grace about you
But such an awkward, all over the place side as well.
You move with caution, eyes unsure of what's to come
But also move so freely in your natural habitat.
Just as long as you're not caught in the headlights.
Ever since you said 'deer' to me,
My heart just soars at the thought of it.
How can a person be their spirit animal?
And I have loved deer ever since.
I'm sitting here eating peanut butter straight out of the jar
Thinking about how we talked the other night
How I couldn't stop laughing and how you teased me for being short
How I got offended and called you a giraffe hybrid but couldn't stop laughing
How you said I sounded like a 9 year old and I couldn't even pretend to be angry
How I thought the fact that you wrote about vultures was hilarious and how we both stayed up talking far longer than we were planning to
How when I insisted I wasn't interested for 2 hours, you insisted back for that long
How I fell asleep smiling and thinking that maybe my life was getting better after all
How I was embarrassed the next morning and pretended like it had just been a crazy shared dream, like the kind in Inception
And how you told me it was only going awkward if I let it be so
Can't you see that art is the expression of you?
With all these medias placed in your day to day world, don't you want to use them as an outlet for love?
Who gives a shit if your rhythm is off, and your feet stumble over one another?
Dance until your brain is no longer in control of your body.
Feel dizzy as your soul moves your limbs to the beat.
Why do you feel that your voice was made for a backup singer?
Belch out the verse you've memorized while driving alone in your car.
Decide which lyric identifies your mood.
And when did you become so hateful of your drawings?
With every unproportional stroke of your pencil, find it's depth.
This is the closest copy you can make to show others of the image in your head.
The same art that we embarrassed ourselves doing, are the same parts of us that allow us to truly feel each moment, to learn, and to grow with the experience it encaptures.
Please poet don't you mind me,
if I always say the wrong thing,
it seems I've no control,
don't need for you to remind me
of the song that I must sing,
my heart has one desire,
in joyness that it will bring,
bring it... to you,
I have no real intentions,
but I got lotsa lotsa apprehensions,
no good ones and no, no, no bad,
when I do it hey say they all "wrong",
well it makes me feel soooo so so so,
on a primrose path as I go on along
I wish we all
could just feel...
g L a D,
an sing the same same song,
Hey an I look very normal,
whatever that means - they say,
replaying my life,
into painful new scenes each an every,
I might wear a bright side smile,
& seem just so happy to you,
I guess I look very young,
"they" say & hey maybe that is true,
It's not that hey I'm stupid,
cuz my IQ is pretty high,
an I ain't in love with cupid,
but it maybe part the realist reason,
in my question of how & why,
I hold out my waiting hands,
an lay my head down to cry,
Hey helpless is how I,
please forgive me,
please cuz I,
I feel like this is real,
it takes me away,
my mind there to steal,
I'm trying to pull away,
in the layers that I peel,
I always, I have wondered,
why I didn't quite fit in,
I felt that it a curse,
by some nasty hateful jinn,
it feels just like a top,
caught up endless in a spin,
but at least now hey I know,
it's not I'm living here in sin,
seems I'm in this battle,
with the odds that I won't win,
please I don't mean to beg,
but please won't you be a,
I wonder yeah I wonder if I ever find my way,
or if I'm cursed to walk on,
to walk on,
walk on here all alone,
no matter where I go,
no matter where I ever,
.....it haunts me....
it haunts me.....
It taunts me ....
An whatever the case may be,
be it fate or maybe even that ol' desTiNy,
understanding my pain
will help me to be free, as they say,
please..just open your eyes,
please can't you just see?
Hey hey... an hey hey,
I try and I try,
I wish you,
to just help me...
but somehow soooo elusive,
it just s l i pppp ssss...right..
through... my ..empty....waiting ....
Cherie Nolan © 2016