Kat 1d
Your awkwardness is infectious
These words can never really catch us
Would you say I'm making a fuss

Maybe this is normal
you just can't help but being formal
I know all of this seems quite suboptimal

But you know
I didn't think of this like a great show
Are we still going with the flow

I don't know what to tell you
if we both agree on this how could we be through
My thoughts are always overflowing, your words are few

So is it okay if you maybe
phrase your intentions more clearly
all I want is to talk with you freely

Like we talked when we saw
each other with loving awe
and being open and true was the law
i love my dad
you do not see it
but that's the way
it is

three hour van silences
are no longer
awkward

i am the scion of 4
that's never going to greet him

i know a child
scratches his belly from the inside

i'm in the house of mirrors
while everyone is eating
i see through the
teasing, the
shouting
mom shakes her head "no one
can ever talk to you"
i see
through
the
pain

my silence as a message:
67 years no longer let you
rush to climb the stairs
to embrace the plush worm
of colors: i do it for you

i do not greet you
but i dress a shirt
with the caption "DADS"
and a picture of us two.
Dominique R Jun 20
I am sorry that I am unable to speak

with the eloquence that can paint pictures and move mountains 

but instead my words trip over one another or get lost
once they leave my lips 

so I’ve chosen to stay silent 

because it is easier to bear than fumbled words and mumbled apologies.
Rote, just for you.
I can't help but
bear repeating.
What's gone cold,
is worth reatheating.
Speech is there,
in silence it drowns.
All I do is,
think and stare.

An eye for an eye,
across the room.
Or should it be;
A you for a I,
and I for you?
Mary L Jun 7
"No, I'm fine."
I told her.
I guess I lied today.
If you lie once
                                             are you really a liar?

Could God tell the difference?

The truth is that I'm afraid to tell the truth,
because I don't want to see your probing eyes,
asking,
"Why?"

"No, I'm fine."
I'm glad that you asked, really.
I'm thankful.
Really.
One of these days, I'll tell you.
I think we can all relate...
stopdoopy Jul 2
Expressing my feelings for you, it worries me.

How would you take it?

Is it awkward?

Are you annoyed or flattered?

I don't need you to feel the same.

I just need you to understand, what I say, feel, mean.

Drenched in two tones.

Both full of love.
And they weren't worth shit
Today started the same way
Get up
Pretend I'm okay
Dress up
Look happy
Happy
So happy
I can't stop smiling
It hurts
It hurts to smile
It hurts to laugh
It hurts to pretend I don't feel
No one understands how I feel
You
make me feel
All that I try to block
I could talk for hours
To you
And never end the discussion
About Kipling or Plath
And the clowns that troll our city in the late night
Politics and the Alt-right
The naysayers and degenerates
How we really feel
All that we hide
In our day to day
All that we are in every way
Embrace it all
Swallow it all
Pretend it doesn't exist
As we watch the other fall
It's our fault
Really
We should have known
But how could we ignore
When it felt like home
Our bodies lying intertwined, as if meant to connect like the missing piece to a puzzle
My head on your chest, listening to every heartbeat
Feeling as if that's exactly where I'm meant to be in that very place and time
Your hands interlocked in my tiny hands as you laugh and tell me it's ok
They're cute
Our legs tied together like twine
As our lips press up against one another's
With every kiss, you inhale more of me
Until I cannot breathe
I'm gasping for air, yet I want more and more of you
Your big strong hands grazing over my body, groping my breasts, grabbing my face, sucking in my lips
Intoxicating me
God I fucking want you so bad
Everything about you makes me want you
You make me wet with your words
You touch me and drive me crazy
Your tongue sets me on fire
And every time I fall for you a little more
Even though my head may say no, my heart wouldn't listen
And my heart's a fucking bitch
Even if I never see him again,
I will still always remember him this way forever in my heart.
I wish I could just turn my feelings off. I can't.
A Apr 27
I hate affection,
Affection hates me,
Smothered with presence,
Til you struggle to breathe.

Cry and they hold you,
Hold you really tight,
Thinking a cuddle,
Makes everything alright.

Approach me I squirm,
I turn the other way,
Eyes full of concern,
But nothing more to say.

I'm awkward, I know,
I do try to fit in,
Then open arms appear,
And they know they can't win.

But sometimes at night,
When it's dark and it's cold,
I long for that touch,
For someone to hold.

Why does it scare me?
To be held so tight?
Is it fear of love?
Or that they just might?

It's hard to let down,
A wall built so high,
To let someone through,
With fear of a lie.

I know some love me,
I know some don't,
I've seen some pretend,
And those who just won't.

Used to switching off,
So I feel no pain,
There's nothing to loose,
And nothing to gain.

It's safer that way,
And always has been,
There's isn't any confusion,
No "what does that mean?"

I hate affection,
Affection is fear,
But that doesn't mean,
You can't still be here.

©
Alex Apr 25
Is it weird I want to kiss you?
I’ve thought about doing it so many times
you’re right      there
and I'm right           here
I could just lean in, but that would be weird, right?
I don’t know if you like me back,
I’m not good at this whole romance thing.
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