Step a little closer
Don't be afraid.
I am merely the monster
Everyone else has made.

Gone is my innocence
My purity my youth.
This world has changed me
It's the evil truth.

Cursed by vanity.
Plagued by insanity.
Caught in the charade
Of life's endless masquerade.

Between the heartache
And pain,
I've lost myself
And will never be the same.

Drowning in deceit
Lies have taken full affect.
Tortured by reality
The agony I inject.

Pieces of me have died
A little bit one by one.
I'll continue breaking
Until I have none.

Strength is a virtue
I was born without.
That came to me later
After learning what this world is all about.

So why should I apologize
For the monster I've become?
No one has ever apologized
For the damage they have done.

By:
T.K.

I want you to know something.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's not embarrassing; it's brave
To admit you don't know something
And want to change.
I ask that you don't worry
That people will think less of you
If you do. You're trying to learn.
And that's something you should
Never apologize for

I wanna run into the night
but I always end up tangled up in your arms
lately everywhere I turn to I bump right into you
I wanna tell you to *******
but it comes out as "I'm sorry"
lately everything I say sounds like an apology
I'm still just a kid, I'm still on my knees
begging you to love me

I hate that you think I lied
I hate that you think I would
I don't cheat
I don't aim to hurt anyone
I just want to love and be loved
If you hated me so much
Why ask me to be yours
If I was so disgusting to you
Why promise to stay
I'm sorry I'm not like most
I'm sorry you expect the worst
I'm sorry no one can be real but you
I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough
But really, I'm so sorry that I still love you

I forgot how much I missed you
Until we started talking again
I've been through lots of painful things
But not many compare to losing a friend

You texted me a week ago
You tried to apologize
It wasn't your fault
(You liked looking in my eyes)

Said you found this jacket
In the picture, it reminded
Me of a 80s quilt
I said you should get it, you did

Adults keep pulling on our sleeves
Telling us to grow up
Keep only what you need
Well I needed connection
And I needed a friend
You were running low on those too
Maybe life's out to get us
Maybe they just don't care
I know it's easier
If I have you there

As I explored these paths again my head swelled                  
It was always the same places
The same streets and street lamps
and the cold, damp, and dense air hanging over me
Everything is so cold and I know it's my fault
my fault for ruining everything
How can I even apologize?

Is anything ever going to change?
or am I going to walk this maze until my legs give out
and I succumb to these disgusting thoughts clinging
clinging to the veins of my frozen heart
my heart, frozen in time
my heart, broke so many times
my heart, giving its all only for it to rip away
But it's my fault I put my heart through so much pain
It's my fault I put myself through all this self-blame
There has to be a way to fix these broken parts of me
A way to apologize for the pain and despair I've caused
But
How can I even apologize?

but what about my eyes? my eyes can still see, can’t they?
they can see the obvious disappointment
the disappointment that’s all so obvious
I see it
I see it every time
I am astounded by my ability to disappoint
over and over again
I'm sorry to those people
The ones I've disappointed
But there are so many of you
How can I even apologize?

he said, “stop apologizing.”

it’s a bad habit of mine.
I apologize even when
I know I’m not at fault.

he said, “stop apologizing.”

I didn’t even realize I was.
it’s an automatic response that
I’ve been programmed to use.

he said, “stop apologizing.”

I tried to notice when it happened,
but it’s not an easy habit
to unlearn after years of training.

he said, “seriously, stop apologizing.”
I said “I’m sorry.”

Someone told me to stop asking for attention
I wasn't asking for attention
but for help.

So I deleted my ambition
I sat still and just listened to what they said.

A pathetic excuse for a person calling people, normal beautiful people
Pathetic excuses for people

Holding my breath
Count to ten
Stop trying to get so much attention

I'll keep apologizing for trying to be me
So I'm sorry I don't fit in your box
I'm sorry for what I didn't think was wrong

Hold my breath
Holding till you can't breathe
Maybe that will teach you

Someone told me to stop.
But you were the one that told me to start.

And god if you tell me to shut up ever again-
I'll probably just apologize

Maybe it's not right
Maybe it's not fair
Maybe you should be the one sitting here hurting
Maybe I ought to tell you that it hurts when you say those things.

But you probably won't care
You'll slam the door right there
Slam the door in my face
Tell me I'm such a disgrace

So I'll apologize
To you
For bringing me into this world.
Because I deserve better parents then you