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The winter flower's bloom
erupts in fragrance
as your weariness cascades
and crumbles with each step closer
to the warmth of home
(which is simply any space
in the universe where
our hands meet
and our eyes say hello).

In truth,
I hold on to you tightest
in the moments
when we close ourselves off
from one another.

Even during floods of anger
I know that soon,
in the patient darkness,
only regenerating beauty
will spill from your night-sleeping eyes
to mine.
Color 23h
the monster inside
threatens to slash me into
tiny little bits
sol 1d
A seething red rage pulsates
like molten metal
through vains on the brink of bursting,
As if he guzzled a gallon of gasoline
and with a sick sick smile
swallowed a lit cigarette.

Still shrieking he strikes the floor.
White knuckled with fractured fists
shredded vocal chords,
crimson tears and cracked teeth
he's held upright only by spite
and a heart harbouring hate.

So as he stands
He scratches a single name
into a single bullet
and starts to shovel two graves
then prays for three lives
that are about to be forever shaken.
Both love and hate burn scars into a heart that are slow to heal.
Color 1d
i am tired of
the endless hate and anger,
the monster inside.
You can’t touch it-
The pain,
Only wait for it
To get to you
And fill that void
With vengeance.
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For all the sake of confinement,
and rules, and laws, and all that is in motion,
my heart rattles in its cage and roars
like a beast, defying human nature.
In a matter of a second,
I succumb to fury. I am rage
juxtaposed to a calm face.
I wail and tear apart the truth,
limb by limb, for denial paves way
to the entrance of my home.

It lives with me, dines with me, sleeps with me;
a welcome resident within my haven.
For when you live through the ways of love,
and love in spite, (instead of loving for the sake
of loving yourself
) only to be loved
because of your monetary value and
the vanity gracefully done on your face,
betrayal is strong and denial is natural.

For all the sake of confinement,
and rules, and laws, and all that is in motion,
even in most literature, we see,
only these people come to know love.

On the other hand,
when you are loved despite not having
money, looks, power, and influence,
they tell us it is blind, and sad.
Because our faces are not on LED screens,
and news outlets, or tabloids, or
made into a film adaptations,
in comparison, our love
is fleeting, and non-existent.

For all the sake of confinement,
and rules, and laws, and all that is in motion,
even in the love we see from those around us,
we are also told this is where love is, or where
it can never be found.

So beauty or no beauty; money or no money,
power or no power; some will never be loved and some will still be loved. As human as it is for us to deny, it is natural as well,
for human beings to defy and change and have different capacities to be loved.

So, love as if no screen can ever behold its depth.
just a thought.
Turned to nothing
By just a phrase
Spoken from anger
When deep in rage
Told I was nothing
By my own blood
It hurts a little
But not too much
I actually feel a little freer
Because that is the truth
Finally someone else
Sees the proof
I can breath again
Since I’ve been exposed
For who I am
Just a ghost
If you’re Jim Jones, then I’m the drinker of the Kool-Aid
I will nod my head in submission and act unafraid
I shall follow in your footsteps and bow before your feet
For I am but a troubled girl who lacks a self-esteem

If you’re Charles Manson, then I’m your ardent devotee
My life, a mere sacrifice, for the desires of thee
Your love and approval is my only mode of existence
For I know nothing else, but am fearful of your distance

If you’re Marshall Applewhite, then I’m your Bonnie Lu
This world is blinded by sacrilege and doesn’t know the truth
So as the comet passes, and we are greeted by our deaths
I will kiss your cheek and say “you were worth my final breaths”

If you’re my spontaneous soulmate, then I am but a victim
For your sudden interest leads to a dangerous addiction
In a few weeks you will disappear and I will question why
While you tell your friends that you’re a "really nice guy”

And I will sit and wonder why you quickly lost interest
When I was unaware of your feelings of belligerence
After weeks of contemplation I will come to realize
That I too was but a sheep, that was herded on your lies
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