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I am a child, but never a kid.
Under the shadows, always been hid.
I wish to live as a kid...
But they've always forbid.

Wounds and scars
A life behind bars
Tears and plea are for weak,
Mouth always been stiched.

Hands, feet, and neck are chained,
To the Honors, expectations I've gained.
With all the light that shined,
They've gone completely blind.

They need me to be the best...
But never hope me the best...
Always asking for answers,
But always left unheard.

Why can't I be free? Like them...
Why am I forbid to feel as much joy?Similar to them...
I was never rebellious...
But never treated...as precious.
why does my siblings always treat me this way??
Of love

I am mourning
Kisses in the morning
There, moaning
Here, groaning
Is it pain?
Is it pleasure?
Will it ever get better?

I am sick
Of you

And the way I feen
That face, my dream
An incessant need
To feed
On your love
High as a dove
In flight

I am sick
Of me

I'm letting go
Goodbye
Don't cry
Goodnight
Don't die
Go on without me
pretty baby,
You'll be fine
You'll be fine
You'll be fine
You'll be fine
You'll be fine
Circular Reasoning




Hurts


     Hurts


           Hurts

Hurts



             Hurts

It hurts...

It casts my flesh asunder and injects my vessels
Scream at me
Watch me flash
I'll be the one to leave your body
I'll cry down the pillars.

I hope you love me
It's all for you
I secrete and overflow with joy for you...

All you

All you

             All for you

All you

All you.








Misery.
Defiance.

I CANNOT SEE
I WILL WALK STRAIGHT
But the reality principle is

IS

      IS

              IS

                      IS BROKEN.



Trust in me.
I can do anything I like.
I'm fine.
I'm not really ok.
YOU HAVE TO HELP ME IT HURTS SO MUCH.
Look.. it just.. doesn't matter.
I don't trust you for a second.
I will ascend.
What's my name?
Haha we were just laughing at you enjoying yourself.
GIVE THAT BACK IT'S MINE.

DAD AHAHAHA DAD'S GONNA **** ME
****, ITS ALL RED NOW. NOT THAT RED YOU IDIOT
RED. SYMBOLISM. HAHA.

Can't you See SYMBOLISM?

I CAN!

I TASTE IT.

You don't know abstract
I BREATHE IT.

OVERFLOW
CRUMBLE BY THE JAWS OF NEUROTICISM.

Wait hang on.. You shouldn't really be watching this stuff man it might mess you up.
Oh yeah! Masochism!

ENTERS VOID
      BECOMES NUMB
         YET ENJOYS IT
COMPLAINS TO CLOSE ONES
             SUFFER THROUGH IT
                 I DON'T WANT A SOLUTION
I PREFER YOU LEECHING MY NEUROTIC PURPLE TOXINS.

Oh ***..
I'm so sorry.

I think I did something bad..

I don't even remember what happened.
I'll try again.. Harder.


My ******* neck aches.


You bleed darkness.
I need you so much.
You're so beautiful when you confess to me.
Your eyes tremble.
Yet you suffer.
I wish no suffering for you.
Yet i can taste your wavelength.
I don't know if I'm bipolar
I DON'T know
I can see

I can see them

Enjoying themselves.

I deserve that.

Where's mine?

I will clench my **** fists so tight
The fingernails will rip apart the flesh
Then dagger my frail insides
Just a little harder.

DON'T MAKE ME SCREAM AT YOU AGAIN!
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM, EXPLICIT LANGUAGE.
I’ve found love,
Love like never before.
We show emotions,
Emotions we've never used before.

We’re doing good,
Only because I remember.
I remember words,
Words like I’ve never heard before.

“I love you” we said,
Love we felt.
Sadness we shared,
And in anger we cared.

I’m cold, you’re mad.
I wasn’t aware of me being like that.
I cry, you relax.
Now we understand.

I’ve found love,
Love like never before.
And I wish,
That it will never stop.
Kyra 20h
There’s a darkness within me

A mass of black and hate

It burdens my mind

It weighs down my arms.



I feel it in my throat

I feel it coat my tongue

It’s grip on my lungs tighten

And my lips twist to harm.



~k.hem
I've been struggling with sleep
All because insomnia and nightmares are a thing
And this is all my fault somehow
So when I can't fall asleep until 2am
And end up missing the bus because I overslept a little
I get yelled at and blamed

I've been struggling with depression
All because of school and my family exist
And this is my fault somehow
So when I start thinking about suicide and self-harm
And end up confiding in someone because I don't want to feel so empty
I get yelled at and blamed

I've been struggling with school
All because depression and lack of sleep are a thing
And this is my fault somehow
So when I request to stay in my homeroom all day
And actually use what special treatment service is available to me
I get yelled at and blamed

It seems I can never do anything right anymore
Just wanted to vent this and put this out there somehow.
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Break your own bones to look the part
Your words are poison to your own soul
Lies are tied loose at the end
So you can untangle them all over again
Manipulate those with strings
Put ones on those who disobey the queen
A sly little devil sat with a crown
A makeshift castle made with a frown
Throne made of eggshells painted in gold
The stench of her pride plague the halls
Oh how daring you are, a threat with no promise
Your sword and men may break on moments notice
Deny you may of the weight of your weakness
We see the cracks, the glass breaking beneath it
So for now I bow to the ruler of all
Who'll fall on her own sword with no one to call
My anger wrote these words.
This screen, bright with frustration, draws-
with careful precision-
the shape of your face.
It must grow tired, as I do,
of creating this image.
How can I know that you are real
when I have never touched your face?
Bitterness for a system long corrupt grows within me.
I am full to bursting with love and fury.

These complications breed more dissatisfaction.
Afraid of travel, afraid of people.
Stuck in a seemingly unending loop of legality
for crimes forgiven long ago.
How many moons more must I wait
to hold your hand in mine?
Eight years.

Long, empty time laughs cruelly at our labors
as we struggle to hold together a friendship
(now a bloomed and wilting relationship)
that we once held above all else.
My love for you is unending, a thing of faerie tale,
but I find my patience lacking.
I have waited and I have yearned for you.
I have tried, to no avail, to leave you behind me-
instead, I was greeted with the haunting realization that
nothing compares to you.
No man, no woman, no circle of peers,
can provide for me the things you offer.
I know you feel the same,
though a mix of dread and delusion prevent you from showing me
in the way I need so desperately to be shown.
I know that you, too, feel this pain.

Seamless, ceaseless pixels bring me your countenance,
now weathered with sadness and age.
Once upon a time, I thanked them.
Now, I throw curse upon curse;
hurling all my animosity at those things that carry you to me
in the only form I've ever known.
"I've been living so long with my pictures of you that
I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel."

If I cannot feel your hand, cold in mine-
If I can't smell your hair
or feel your chest drenched with those happy tears of
At Last!,
do you really exist at all?
Mercilessly, cruelly, are we brought before our judge,
The Test of Time.
Eight years; is it wasted?
Wrote this Oct 10, 2018. Computer crashed and I thought I'd lost it. Here ya go, I guess. Sorry not sorry for the pop culture references. These things are a part of who we are, and I bring my soul forth to bear.
Ellison 1d
I see em' with their high-class smile
I see em' with their evil tongues stretching a mile
I see em' with their soccer ***** and games
I hear em' with their Jackson, Sean, and Sam names

You walk with the feet of a conservative edged freak
Tell me: What is it in this smog-choked world that you seek?
Maybe it's your talk and the provocative way you walk
That show off your pampered pale skin like chalk

You were born with a taper haircut and sly
Plan to make any girl yours; oh me oh my
And is it too cool to believe in a man in the sky?
The choice is yours, but you couldn't go up if you tried

Your eyes are sharp like the knife that stabs the beast
You have for dinner each night that keeps you so greased
But you never once had a clue about the world around you
And you'll fall into place where you'll never know what is true.
I see em' everywhere; it's the haircut that really ticks me off
zoe 1d
i'm trying to unlearn everything i've known
i'll grow to hate your star sign forever
i'll let the cigarettes i stole for you burn my arms
i'll smash my rings against the wall
i'll act like a teenager again
maybe decide to ruin my life again
cut off all my hair again
hurt myself again
because anything is better than looking back at us
anything was better than watching the sun rise with you
i'll loathe this autumn forever
because the feeling of the leaves dying and falling
it just reminds me of our nights under the rain and moonlight
spinning me around like our favorite records playing
anything is better than this feeling
yet i'll fix myself in spite of you
because all my bad habits resurfacing again
it feels like i'm healing
goodbye to the season
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