Lost child of a lost childhood
Built up by broken frames
Bloodied knuckles and his bully's bruises
Turned his whole life into a mere game
He turns up the flirty attitude
To mask the anger within
His mom ran off with another suitor
While he's left cleaning after her sins
But tonight he wears her sins as a tie
To match the heavy demons weighing him down
He makes his way across the floor
Picking up a drink to change his frown
All the giggly desperates crowd him instantly
He proceeds to exchanges a smirk or two
Yet across the room he sees a flash of grey
And finds his next prey to woo
He, as every other lover
Called on my name
Voice a tender caress
Pulled on my heartstrings
Seduced me with wonders
All (He promised)made for me
(just as every other lover often says)
And once I was tightly wound
Around His finger
He unwound His beloved from His loving hold
And let me fall
And watched ‘till I finally hit bottom
And then, as every other lover
He walked away.
You lied to my ears and my heart listened.
Listened and believed my foolish heart. For it cared not for the reasoning of my head.
you lied to my meddlesome heart and stole it, right out from between my ribs and my eyes never saw it coming.
You lied to my heart, stole it and then broke it.
Broke it into pieces, and that I felt and that I saw.
Give me back my lied to, stolen, broken heart.
You give me back my motherfucking heart!.
Respect your elders I spit
Respect those who've lived and work decades before you I snarl
I show no respect to you
I show respect if you earn it
The entitled generation that is anything but vs the old generation who believe themselves better.
"Respect your elders!" The shout that answers my "fuck you"
I'll show respect when given.
Respect your elders, but only if they respect you
When my rapist texted me after 3 years of silence
My body shattered
I've spent all this time picking up the pieces glueing them into place like a puzzle that doesn't quite fit
You swing at me with a hammer
Chipping away at me like the paint I chipped off the deck with my grandpa summers before I met you.
I am the opposite of forgiveness
Sharp teeth, howls of rage, and jagged edges
If our bodies turned red where unwanted fingers like claws, carved into us, I would look like I was bleeding out
I don't know when I became a space to be filled
I have made you as ghost story as possible
Using you only as a joke at my own behalf or cautionary tale.
When you're only a story I can close at night and pull out when I want to, I can pretend you've left no scars on this forsaken body of mine
But when you text me out of no where, I find you've taken my autonomy once again.
I find that I'm once again stuck between your teeth.
Every probing text is gasoline that I swallow with a smile.
You think I turn to ice because I have frozen.
I am ice turned fire
And I'll burn the whole damn world with me if I have to.
My body is constantly in fight or flight, rigid with the possibility of springing into action.
Never quite relaxed enough to forget past sins made against me.
When people ask me, with sneers on their faces, if every adams apple I see reminds me of a fist, I tell them no. Because one of the faces that haunts me has deep brown eyes and soft skin, like my own.
She hid claws under royal blue painted nails and cinnamon scented gum.
i'm so angry
my face feels pale
empty space no art-
ist wanted to draw in
i want something
to fill this void behind
sharp teeth: vomiting
coffee grinds and blood
over my favorite novel
in a dream where my
glasses are still
broken and there's
always been wet bed
sheets, red is nothing
oh, i want.
love leaving i've
never craved laughter
no one here is looking at me
the eyes of hungry gods are
glued to my skin tearing them
selves apart leaving me leaving me
to cope with one less layer
i think there are devils in
the clouds that haunt me.
oh, i need.
i need a cigarette
home and hell
taste fog water
catch a breath
down with old
on my face:
who the fuck is that?