I hold the key
To my heart healing
I hold my breath and
When the door slams
We all go running
We're good at hiding
Shh! Stop crying!
You hold the key
To your heart healing
With every tear
Grace is Unlocking
When the door slams...
To those who loved,
For those who lived,
For those who sought,
A greater purpose,
A higher meaning,
And shed a thought,
And had a care,
For those of you,
I offer this.
To those who looked beyond,
To see the good,
To welcome light,
To grace the dark,
To tread a path,
And gave a chance,
And listened well,
Without their mask.
– Dedication, Virapo Vol. I
Love is a misused word isn't it?
Every time you turn around there is something more beautiful that attracts and distracts you.
Tell me where your love rest here?
This love that leaves you breathless, that tatters your heart with every intake.
It pales in comparison.
Honestly I'm sick to death of this pretense.
Saying you care with your tears whilst screaming in my ear the words truer than you admit.
I'm next to hating you. No, I think I already do. It isn't the fear of love but this love itself that drives me insane.
This useless anger I feel when you are near. I hate it which in turn makes me hate you.
Of course these words are empty, much like the looks in your eyes when you smile.
I remember when hating everything was cool, but then all of a sudden it wasn't?
It's too late,
I'm filled with this hate, an anger you helped create.
It seeps from my pours,
It makes up my floors:
And I can't break its hold; the hands already closed.
The power I thought I had you took when you left;
It lied in my head.
Rage worms it's way like a dirty animal .
It crawls between our veins making our blood boil.
It has a flying temper
We become the poison
It is black vile
It causes us to live in a place of darkness.
We are living in bondage.
The cross is the place to let go.
We can choose to either live with it .
Or let it go ..
Father forgive me for I have sinned against you and hurt the poeple I love
Please I cannot do this on my own.
Please heal my heart take this rage away.
Caused by sexual abuse
I hear by Surrender my life to you..
Spreading darkly from within
A cloud filled my breast
And slowly pulling me in
Ground me into the dust, depressed
On the dead earth below me
A dripping black hand
Struggled fiercely up to free
The shadows of the demon band
Others nearby glanced my way
Smiled at me, or cursed
With a venomous red spray
Fed my dark and demon-made thirst
Looking behind them I saw
On great poison wings
Creatures, crimson mouths all raw
From speaking unspeakable things
If we had courage to boast
Allied, we could beat
The hellspawned, bloodthirsty ghosts
That hungrily follow our feet
The other side of the coin
Fearing the unknown
No one dares to join
We each have demons of our own
I messed up.
I should have never left, I should have fought harder.
Life was simpler with you, easy even.
Sure you were a storm and I was unfortunate enough to be caught in your wake but boy did I even enjoy the thrill.
I am so much less now. Far less of a person.
I gained weight, I chopped off all my hair, I hate myself and wish it dead, I am speckeled in anxiety written all over my face in the visible blemishes, I am worthless and dull, I am so much less of a person now.
I am sorry for leaving, for wanting better for myself
because even if you destroyed me, at least I served a purpose.
I wouldn't mind
doing anything for them,
placing their wishes before mine,
forgiving them when no one else will.
Who are they?
My love and my pals
When I realize that
My sacrifices were taken for granted
Or that they had never deserved it,
They will lose me that very moment.
And the broken tie can be mended never.
His fists were paint brushes
The holes in the wall
His knuckles bruise as does his mind
Because that hole in the wall isn’t changing his life
Beauty in his pain
His thoughts thrown on the wall in a fit of rage
But those holes aren’t as deep as those in his mind
Filling with self hate