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Collapse in me like a calamity
We break bones like friends break bread
Suitable to eat all the fiction we leave
Leave no crumbs upon the porcelain
Dripping from the maw,
It’s a gathered storm we twist in the rain
Cyclic sick, motion parody
Parroting in the air we see in our periphery.

An animal touch
Gnawing through the skin
Gnashing at the veins
Tapping ancient knowledge from within
Tasting the copper essence, thicker than buttermilk
Oat notes inside iron smell,
Rust color dyed under the fingernails.
This is what I meant when I said
I want to get inside you.

Collapse in me like a black hole
Supernova laser beams bouncing through the temples
Lobotomize consciousness in conscience bliss
Constant this, a battle waged with no winners
If I take it, what would you give
And if I give what would you take?
Would the odds meet even?
Would the world cease its grievance?
Coastal in the irony
Serfs off the shore.
Surfs up collected Moores
Served up in pallid doors
Serve up to pad the wallets, sure.
I’m not immune to your history,
Hang me for my skin tone and pedigree
Take my culture and use that pasta to bury me.

Infinite waters,
Drain my colors
Paint me a new face,
Bring me to Zion
Let me see my creations
Batter me in heinous
Fry me with jealousy
Greed bleeds in green envious eyes
And I doubt you realize…
I only wanted to love the best in you.

Collapse in me like a crumpled page
Wrinkled and discarded
Rage billowed in dried ink and crude letters
Words cursed from the spittle of angered throats
Vibrating viral vehemence through the echoes of a time
No longer sated in the universes we’ve depleted
In still-born births upon our rotted stage
We play alone.

Collapse in me!
This is a piece where i'm looking in and having a battle with self, about how I create and how I wish to create going forward.
i am so tired of being yelled at
im tired of the screaming
im tired of the lying
im tired of the whining

i am in a black hole
and you take more and more
and you bend the sound
and you take my time
you have taken the one thing i cannot bring back
Julia Celine May 7
Here's the limit
Stopping short such careless ease
It reaches in and grips and I
just hope that I don't leave
it all exposed, the brick & mortar
to the humidifying heat
I know to take it out on you is petty,
childish, and mean
And I am so mature, I'm quiet
as the words begin to freeze
The screaming, small injustices
that bitterness loves to keep
Tonight in bed, a mantra
Is the devil on repeat
Running laps inside my head
Until I can finally sleep
Then tomorrow I'll forgive you
My walls crumbling like leaves
A day of autumn in the summer
For another day of peace
She stood in the field of Violets.
A distressed lady in war.
While others charged in the battlefront,
Only I noticed her, from afar.

She was enraged, with dreadful eyes,
Murmured words I didn't hear
A cluster of sunken syllables
Rose a song too hard to bear.

Forgiveness, O Damsel of Violet
Release me from these cries
Let me sing a song so dear
For those hazel eyes.

Trust me O Wrathful maiden,
No harm was ever planned.
Yet here I stand, entranced by you,
Still spellbound where I stand.
I want this to end
please everything just stop!
I'm begging you oh! God
i can't deal with this

I want to cut myself so deep that all i  become is bone
I want to smash my head against the wall
make paintings with my blood
PLEASE STOP!

You tell me that you're concerned
but then why do you ignore me
like a pig on a street
is that what you think of me?

I'm done trying
My legs broken from carrying this pain
my windpipe punctured by the comments you make
My skin crimson form the cuts i create

I get hooked with a therapist
but instead of help ,all they blab is *******
that makes me question to my broken core
Am I going mad?

Can you ******* shut up
all i want is to be alone
all i want to be is held
by someone who loves me unconditionally

you say your love is pure
but is it? you manipulate me
I love you, but do you love me?
You made me question everything

Your ******* homophobic mindset,
its so revolting , I feel ashamed to be your son
You say no matter what happpens you are my son
but the very next second you spill your guts

I'm sorry i disappoint you constantly
I'm sorry, I bleed
I'm sorry, I'm weak
I'm sorry, would you ever forgive me?
A rage poem , A desperate cry for help. This is written in a mooment of intense emotion and a form of self expression and NOT A THREAT
I have trouble with emotions
I can't feel them correctly
either I feel too much
or nothing at all
it could be because of my past
when I suppressed my emotions
day after day
emotions meant danger
he was volatile
and showing emotions
could end up with
him in a fit of rage
I walked on eggshells
to avoid his wrath
now I struggle with emotions
it's safe to feel them now
but my body no longer
knows how to properly
it's an all or nothing situation
it's quite draining
Damocles May 5
Desecrated and shredded
I walk the asphalt collecting the confetti that is my heart,
Hope the celebration landed you in higher spirits
And when the proof catches up to tingling limbs
You fall from your cloud,
To crash back to reality,
You are a horrible human.

Undo the locks,
Release these iron nails,
Keeping the deep dark at its gravely bay
Let my horns rip through flesh
Teeth sharpen into daggers,
Lips blacken like charcoal,
The skin reddens and hardens.

I warned,
With the subtly of a distant storm
Whispers and calmness in words gifted
Hoping you would spare your visage,
Yet you demanded recompense
In tithes, you could not afford,
And now the tide comes.

You once spoke of existence,
How it paralleled your inability to feel past indifference
As if I could ever conceptualize blabbering words
To make sense of the gibberish and absurd
The obscure way the fabrics of reality weave in and out,
Desolately decimating credible certainty
I am unfamiliar with the language
But too acquainted with the scars they leave.

So you sit, afar,
And know that the time wars on
Waning what was left of my sanity,
My life was brevity,
And as brief as it was, this breathing haiku
I know what I wish then I knew….

Hell is real,
And she looks just like you.
This one comes way of thinking about the most toxic relationship I had. i nearly ended it all because of this person. it was a deep, dark time.
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