sometimes i am not the one
you taught me that

narcissistic to my core i will admit
i never thought that i could do what we've done

you get to know me on the same level as god
because i have allowed you to

you have kept and created spots in my heart
that only you could fill

you make me feel like bag on the freeway
floating, fast and melting at the seam

there are secrets that I
have trouble admitting even for myself.
and less yet more than myself
admitting to others.
I can spill some dark secrets
some entirely perverse
damaging
degrading
killing
secrets and
yet there are some that I cannot
I cannot
even talk or think about
or imagine
and therefore I will not speak
you will not know.

these poems express the words i fail to speak
loneliness i fail to admit
moments i fail to remember
sadness i fail to move on from
heartbreak i fail to accept
loss i fail to mourn

It's okay to cry when you're sad;
It's okay to show your weakness and lean on to someone to be glad.
It's okay to put off your mask;
And just be yourself.
It's okay to make mistakes;
And learn from it.
It's okay to get mad and get upset;
It's okay to choose and be kind to yourself first before others.
It's okay to be selfish sometimes;
It's okay to feel lonely and get hurt.
It's okay to admit that you are really not okay;
It's okay to get tired and just rest.

I admit
Being more wrong than right
But I lost
More into those fights
Is it just me
Who struggles to see different light
Too late
Now I know it may or might
be the fate
I just can't control at that time
All the same
Everything fall apart.