There is a circle of chairs in this room.
To my left
a man reads "Watchmen".
Red converse, superhero jacket.
a red haired girl squeaks
high pitched moans
at her cell phone.
On my right
three pill bottles exchange philosophy
on how to wake up
Only one considers taking
In front of me is a bulk of man, farm tattoos, blonde crew cut,
Wife back home watching their two kids.
He's building rapport with a lanky indie chick
Knit cap & OBEY hoodie, viynal record brain, paper coffee cup hands
By the map of America sits a quiet girl
Trying not to be noticed
Hoodie three sizes to big
Grey, no coffee, no eye-contact
Beside a blur of neon pink camoflauge
A blob the shape of school bag
packed for an overnight studying
a dead body
Smack center of all of them?
Like IM the one that needs attention.
the world's greatest blessing
and most tremendous curse
never having to worry
about being too loud
or sticking out in a crowd
but it takes effort
for friendships to grow
or to even say hello
you may laugh
you may cry
nobody will know why
just because you're shy
a blessing and a curse
is this state of being
but it's who i am
Crazy is the medicine
as is what the body does
Blood let won't be of my own
Problems? Come find
my home, secluded precipice
Hold up your hand
still it of the trembles
worry at the cost of
all you own
Medicine, come fight me!
Split existence, split to wind.
I'm paper, aren't I?
The weaker of the two.
You're ink, aren't you?
You will do.
i wish to reveal a most precious thing
as Spring has begun
my dearest Daddy’s Birthday is done
he is not a man of celebrations
i want to disclose this personal’s manifest
as his blueprint, i am really beatific
i am very fortunate to be able to recollect
all and everything
to be your beloved daughter
is one most precious and delightful evidence
such a coziest feel to have you in my presence
you embody all that is calm and peaceful
no other impervious Daddy then you, my handsome sensitive
your BirthDay, dearest Daddy is never nebulous
the reputations you left us are all fabulous
you told me tales, they are in fact realities
you are one of a kind, your mind so sublime
you constantly cared and loved me, i am your prime
i love to tell superlatives about you
you deserve the most, dearest Daddy,
i am very proud of you, of your humor and your visions
your cartoons, drawings, and your fascinating paintings
you conjured magic in all your writings
C.C. was your weekly talkings
Charlie was your weekly walkings
in the world of Charlie Chan
i am very fond of you, my very talented Daddy
i know your world too, owned by you as a stage performer….
i remember everything, every detail hidden in my mind
i wish to reveal the most precious thing
last night i went to your place, i was wondering
you were not there, i started sobbing….
© Sylvia Frances Chan
21st March 2017
I think of what I've become
And then I wonder what you'd think of me
Yet you're the one who helped create this mess to begin with
Your verbal abuse was what broke me
I was already damaged goods
You smashed me to pieces
I put myself back together
Now I am just a shell
I have given up
But I have to choose
Whether to stay like this
Or to build myself back up
I would have just kept disappointing you
I would have never lived up to the potential you saw in me
It's a little difficult to please a narcissistic psychopath who lacks a conscience anyway.
Hello, my name is selfless, I only care about other people so don’t ask me how I’m doing I am only concerned with your well being.
Hello, my name is forgetful and I keep forgetting you name and pretty much everything else about you.
Hello, my name is confusion, and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be here or not. Can you help me out??
Hello, I’m apologetic and I’m sorry for everything thing I’ve done, or have done, or things I never did I’m sorry.
Hello, most people call me silence, you can find me in many places but I find the most comfort in peoples discomfort of awkwardness.
Hi, I’m solitude, and I don’t want anything to do with you STAY AWAY FROM ME.
My name is anger and I hate everything and everyone for absolutely no reason, but if you want I can give you a million reasons to justify my actions.
My name is lonely, and I just want you to hold my hand so that maybe it can stop shaking so much.
People sometimes call me disappointing and I hold onto that like it’s the only part of this cliff I can hold onto to keep myself from falling.
Hello, I’m transparent and I’m thinner than the page of the book you used to read, so thin that you can see right through me, or maybe not even see me at all.
Hi, my name is dictionary, and I know how to describe your whole life in many words you may never understand.
My name is Swingline.
And I would make a name for myself to describe what I think I am or what I’m supposed to be. But the name I seek…
Isn’t in the dictionary yet.
Who are you?
What have you been called?
Who do you want to be?
There are so many things that define you
That make you who you are
Why let other tell you who you are?
Do the things they call you make you happy?
Are they true?
You may be thinking;
Who is she to be asking me this?
There's the fun part
I dont know
I myself am still defining who I am
Just like you
With every action
And every moments that passes by
We work on defining who we are
And who we want to be
So I will ask just one more time
And I beg you to think
Who are you?
she painted her nails bright red
winged a decent eyeliner
on her eyelids above her hazel
she wore the same jeans
because they were her favorite
& she didn't really ask for more
she owned some beautiful jewelry
yet only wore her little golden
on her right arm
on her middle finger
maybe because it slipped down
when she wore it on her other fingers
or maybe because it was a thing
to the world
letting everyone know
that she cared no more