A poet is such a loser
Who only speaks through words;
Hoping a blue moon would occur
Sometime in the future.
But Future is too wild to capture;
Galloping, rushing in a herd.
Soaring like a free bird.

And who am I really?
Just another loser
Who can barely bear
To look you in the eye.
Nothing can compare.
hannah Feb 21
Am I the ghost from the past that follows you around
Am I the nobody you are try to shake
Am I the outcast that you don't care about
Am I the loser nobody needs
Am I...

Topsy- turvy upside down
I wear my smile as a frown
An introvert I shy away
but extrovert’s what I display
Out in the world I am on stage
to hide the fact I am afraid
Can feel anxiety creeping in
but must fight back; It can not win

Like ADD meds, what you expect
The opposite is what you get
A spectacle I will create
The food for sharks and I’m the bait
Gregarious is what they see
as I draw all their eyes on me
In center ring with a spotlight
The playful clown who’s filled with fright
For sacrifice I am the sheep
Look strong and brave; Inside I weep

The irony in all of this
Is how deep down the thing I miss
I want so much it makes me ache
Sent to the brink; I can not take
Such loneliness and agony
A caring touch is what I need
To hold someone and feel them close
Not memories of past haunting ghosts
A partner I can trust and share
Equal respect and loving care
Connection of both mind and body
Pleasure from their company

Raw instincts and tawdry desires
Do have their place but soon get tired
Companion who will laugh with me
Life’s silliness and comedy
Travel the world and go nowhere
Responsible without a care
A will that’s stern but not too much
Must also have a tender touch
All of me I wish to share
A worthy mate I love and care

Instead I sit alone in thought
Did not pursue the things I sought
No actions taken, change or risk
Potential not pursued and missed
A civil war I wage inside
I ebb and flow like changing tides
My life is one big paradox
Possess the keys but chain and lock
myself in one big twisted maze
and set all hope of joy ablaze

I’m at the helm; I steer the ship
Aim for the iceberg’s peeking tip
A massive wreck sent to the bottom
Deep abyss I can’t get out of
Locked by fate and where I’ll be
I self-fulfill my destiny
Nothing to no one
All alone
A loser; This is set in stone
Rigid belief inside my mind
So in retreat I run and hide
It's calm and warm in my safe place
Tell myself lies; Don’t want to face

The sad, sad world myself put in
A game of life I’ll never win
This poem is my only escape
I'm on the verge about to break
The pain I feel; The tears I hide
Put up my walls; Keep it inside
Committed to this life’s performance
Play your part or they'll suspect
Each tick, each tock; The days go by
And pass in waste; Yet question why
I travel through both time and space
Merely a blip and then erased
A grain of sand on endless beach
With outstretched arms I grasp and reach
A last attempt of sad despair
But life moves on and no one cares

Written: April 8, 2018

All Rights Reserved
there are flaws in our systems,
perpetual moving parts that do not yield the same results,
there are flaws in all of us
we are jumbled messes created out of flesh and blood.
from heartache to pain,
the only constant is the flaws we face
that is what comprises our identity.
Moushmi Mehta Apr 10
Pick up your weight, it’s time
Slog, slog, slip & slide
Convince yourself, earn the dime
Put all your time on the line

My heart is in it? I don’t know
Who cares, it has nowhere else to go
Been silent for so long now
But stop, no slowing down now

Finally getting a little satisfaction in this
Less worries, the liberation is not amiss
Picking needles & sorting them one by one
Time’s up, reality is circling back, yelling


But I’m still here, you’re still kicking
This shit is not getting old, it never will
You’ve emblemed me, now I’m immune
If words could heart & direct my heart
I’d still be lying in bed, with emotions & reality apart
SangAndTranen Mar 22
It's far from homely
Odour of something
Don't know what.
Kick crushed cans
Envelopes of late payments:
cant afford them.
Shove them aside
Drag thumbs over
The chipped controller
The tinny TV
The low-res game.
Grab a stranger
One night stand
Clinging to their skin.
Chafed and blotchy
Pretty scrawny
No one cares.
Use them
Like they are using you
To escape the drag
That is this existence.
Leave them in silence
Belt buckle done up
Hiss goes the beer can
Take a swig.
Back tomorrow
To the grind
Splash face
With water
Fumble sleepily
With the nylon tie
And crawl through
Another day.
I decided to be blunt and honest, hooray.
You took the cunt from the current.
You wiped the floor with your wit.
You helped yourself to the hate on the shelf.
And now you're left stirring the shit.

You put the bad in the bawdy.
You took the piss out of me.
Your bitterness trait, your mouth spouting hate.
I'm done with you, now let me be.

You suck the life from the living.
You should just walk to the door.
Exit stage right, with your hypocrite shite.
Your company needed no more.

So glad I got that off my chest now.
New chapter, we're clear, no more stress now.
So beat it - retreat, turn sour into sweet.
Our future no longer depressed now.
I don't know who or what this is about, other than tedium.
In a crowd of people
Yet I feel so alone
Surrounded by people
But I am alone
How can it be
With so many around me
A bottomless pit
Inside I'm so empty

Hopeless, sadness, entrenched in despair
Feel all has been lost
But does anyone care?

No need for the question
With certainty I know
Those who feign interest
A performance they show
I'm forced to admit
It's obvious after all
How could anyone give a shit
Insignificant and small

Loser. Failure. Not one who has worth
A meaningless existence every day since my birth

A waste of space
Wasted breath
With this I'm faced
Will be 'til death
Why sit here and wait?
Might as well do it now
Express lane to Hell's Gate
Bound to flub it somehow
Just a single success
Have one thing go my way
No, instead it's a mess
Wish not granted today

Or tomorrow and every day following it
Living my life in this misery pit

A poor worthless soul
Not worthy of pity
Beatings taking their toll
Never leave Loser City
Not how I feel about myself now but depression is something I've battled with in the past and this definitely encapsulates how I can feel during those times.

Written: March 3, 2018

All rights reserved
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