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I am afraid that you are falling in love with the expectations you have of me

While you ignore the toxic version of me
The loud, broken, desperate version of me

You don’t really see me, you see job offers
a few kids, a wedding ring, new homes, new cars  
While you ignore my deep scars

I am afraid you are falling in love with who you want me to be

While ignoring the real me, the trauma suffering, addict struggling, broken soul, who is afraid to love

You are ignoring the angry man who needs therapy but decides it’s better to feed his anger and throw his emotions at the end of liquor bottles

The man who your mother warned you would break your heart.
I am a victim of my pain, but you ignore that because you see something within. You want me to be that perfect man of your dreams, that you forget to face your nightmares

You hide my scars, feed me compliments while preaching to me about your biological timeline, lying and telling me everything will turn out fine if I find a job that makes a lot of money, bought a new car, a new home with a picket fence, change my accent, dress and act a certain way   

Please don’t try to save me
Save your imagination for thinking it can transform me to meet your expectations
Sometimes those we love to forget to love the real version of us. They think about all the great things and forget to address the warning signs early due to their need to make you their "one and only". Expectations destroy relationships and **** any hope for change. We need to do better at truly loving each other.
Hannah Jones Apr 7
Careful, love,
that you are not
too well-guarded,
sounding high alerts
until no one
dares approach
your gates.

Mind not to wind
yourself too tight
out of fear
to let loose
some brittle flaw
until you splinter
and shatter.

A closed fist
a lover never made--

Loosen your grip
on your expectations
of the audience,
and simply play
your part.

Come curtain,

we may
surprise
each other.
Just wondering if my friend/coworker finally got the stick out from wherever he stored it during our time together.

Those jagged edges hurt both ways, babes.
A great deal of weakness
goes into the man I am now
indecision and a flurry of doubts
that make ways cloudy

But it’s fertile ground below,
this lack of surety
this endeavour to truly know

and if more would live here
how much better we would be
Shame stalks me like shadows
On my heels
Put myself through so much torture
Must like the way it feels

Blame you for depression
I know that isn't true
Because I already struggled
Before I lost you

Words you whispered walk through skull
Play phrases on repeat
Conscious of fact I'll never hear them again
Whimper in defeat

In midst of motionless self-pity
Chaos indetectably brews
Conflicted between sticking up for myself
Or withstanding more mistakes I'll excuse

A stillness appeared a moment
As quickly as arrived it is gone
Built on instability
Cannot trust pavement I tread upon

Rippling across distance
Wind melodic
Moving
Thin
Fabric of time and space silky soft
Not quite as soft as your skin

A trail of kisses leads to
waistband
By my moseying mouth
In turn undress me til body is bare
Slowly work your **** sin south

Bars of piano play symphonies
Resounding from the middle of my mind
Waves rolling in and out with the current
Notes are far more tender and kind

I let myself bask in bittersweet glow
Melting due to warmth of total bliss
Voice has never sounded so smooth
Collision never like this

My being joining in rhythm
Tangling until we are one
We remain connected by flesh
Some time after we are done

Eventually guilt emerges
Torn between directions
Why must head and my heart
Inhabit different sections?

I long to be with you
I'm afraid as soon as you know I care
Feelings will fade when I close my eyes
Open them and again you won't be there
Its the same thing over and over again
Lee Aaun Mar 27
you just need to
keep the door open
love will arrive
when the time will allow it to
let your heart open
Sthembiso Feb 24
SAILOR

WITH THE TRUE LOVE OF SAILING,
IT'S POSSIBLE TO BUILD YOUR OWN  SHIP,

EITHER  A NICE  RELATION-SHIP
OR
A FUNNY FRIEND-SHIP
Be Open-hearted and live a happy life.
The open gaping mouth of glass, looking in and looking out
The light refracting across the silent room
Everything is closed off; the blinds; the doors; the boxes
The glass eyes of the house muffling the sounds of the outside world

The inhabitant grown a slave to watching
The gaping mouth of glass, looking in and looking out
Stretching lines, darkening eyes, smiles turned hollow
She'll trace the filtered light with frozen desperate fingers

Her sounds are empty and echo like a dripping water from a faucet
The tiled floor is as cold as the snow that falls. Unseen
The open gaping mouth of glass, looking in and looking out
The wind seems to be whispering words she no longer yearns for

The blood is dancing with the cold
Warming the static embrace of her head and fingers
The inhabitant closes the blinds again, hiding the quiet scene
The open gaping mouth of glass, looking in and looking out
Most people believe this is about suicide so I'm going to clear this up. The inhabitant and the girl are two different people. The poem focuses on a scene, but the whole purpose is to invoke the feelings that come with paranoia. It's about a man who killed a girl, but also talking about the guilt and fear of hiding a bad thing we've done. I hope it somehow showed what I was trying to convey.
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