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I am an addict
I am a mother
I am a daughter
A sister, a friend.

I am an addict
and I live under
The spell addiction sends
right through my bones,
my mind, my heart, my soul

I am an addict
and I have never felt so small
I am an addict
I told myself
As I held my head in shame

I am an addict
and I cannot live with all this pain
I am an addict
I deserve nothing but the worst
I am an addict and
I live under this curse.

I cannot have it (I told myself)
The right to a good life
I am an addict
I’ve caused too much pain and strife.

I cannot have it (I told myself)
I don’t deserve to smile
I am an addict and
I am at the bottom of the pile

I am a survivor
I am a warrior
I am a Queen
I had a habit
That dampened all of my dreams

I am a fighter, a writer
I am clever, kind, caring and strong
I am an addict
but under labels I do not belong

I am a women, a human
Who sadly had to break
To be transformed into
The champion she is evolving
into today

I am an addict and
although yes, I do lust
for drink and drugs
I now have a Higher Power
I can trust, who showers
me with strength, guidance and love

I trudged for miles but
with hard work,
The shackles soon fell off
and although yes,
I fell face first
deep into the mud
I wiped my eyes,
squeaky clean and
I truly felt Gods love.

I began to breathe, to believe
in myself, in all my worth
and dare I say it……
I was thankful to still have
two feet firmly on this earth.

I remembered how it feels to live,
to dream, to be free
To feel alive –
and just how beautiful
This universe really is
Through my new fresh eyes.

I am an addict
And I do not wish to forget
For that could do me harm

I will always remember
my loved ones, my friends,
my family
Who lost their battles
In this crazy search for calm
and I hold them here
Firmly within my heart.

They provide me with the fuel
When my internal fire
barely starts
But the ones who keep me
Strong, who really ignite
my light
Are the ones sat amongst us,
The ones who daily fight
to stay sober and clean

We’re not perfect but
We try, the survivors,
the warriors, the ones
fighting to the end
carrying a light for their
lost loved ones and friends

You’re the champions –
In my eyes you are all stars.

And you deserve every bit
of goodness on this earth

Addiction puts blinkers on your
eyes, but recovery removes the curse.

Please understand, it isn’t
easy, it is a daily fight
but with time, care and
a lot of love, I am grateful
to have been given another
chance to try at life.

I am an addict
But I am also a survivor
And freedom tastes so
very, very nice.
. © Karen L Hamilton, Sep 2020

A personal poem, written for the message rather than the format. I was asked to write and read a poem at Norwich Cathedral Sep 2020 for those who are struggling addiction and the families/ friends of those who have lost their lives through addiction/ alcoholism
I can feel the trembling of the earth through the soles of my shoes.
The grinding of the plates down there coming from the tombs.
Sound of ancient maddness seeping through the seams.
The killer in the night lurking in my dreams.
The sadness of my life howling through my bones.
The hollow sound of scraping from the catacombs.

I can feel the trembling blowing through the trees.
See it in the moonlight night fluttering through the leaves. Growing in the midnight winds a smiling lunatic.
The sound of fleeting dreams all gone as my body slips.
The killer in my eyes tonight laughing in my face.
Screaming from the mouths of death as angels fall from grace.
najy Sep 23
The best is a beast I must slay
Living in the valley of expectation
And I know I moved myself there.
The beast lurks late at night
Waking me at three am
Giving me such a fright.

I sharpen my swords
I ******* my shield
And I stay inside.
I practice, practice, practice
Never perfect.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I will not die buried as I lived
Wrapped in bronze, silver, or dirt.
Cast me in immortality
A golden Goddess
My dying wish is to live forever.

I study
I steady my hand
If it’s not perfect, it’s no good.
I must be prepared and precise
Dedicatedly detailed
A single flaw is fatal.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I am not religious, but giving up is a sin
Second only to failure.
So, I practice my acceptance speech
I know, I know,
I know I will never give.

I know it’s no use
I know I’m too scared
To ever do anything worthwhile.
I fear failure so much
I never even try
And I wonder why I’m still stuck in this valley.

The best is a beast I must slay
This is my life’s goal
Because it will take a life of work to get close.
So close I can taste it
I will probably die
An inch short of the beast’s beating heart.

I march up the hill
I tell myself
Today is the day.
I have done this more times than I can remember
I scare myself
More than any beast ever could.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I remind myself of what’s at stake
More than the glory and gold.
I want to beat the beast
So I can know I can beat the beast inside me.

The best is a beast I must slay.
I am forever changing my mind on what I want this poem to be titled. I have tried Best/Beast, The Best, The Beast, and The Be(a)st and nothing quite feels right. The best title for the poem is the beast I must slay. If anyone has any title ideas, let me know!
Do you dare think
that you are superior?
You are not familiar with her, she
who stands before you.
Yet you find yourself above such a creature
who has moved oceans and rescued
sailors out at sea, while swallowing
bucketfuls of salt water, without protest.
You dare think that you are superior?
She has washed up on shore, spurting blood from her lips but she does not tell you her adventures in turmoil.  
You do not care, for you are only passing through.
You begin to utter choice words, but you may bite your tongue.
For she will send the tides to drown you out at sea.
Inspired by years of working in customer service and facing people who think it's cool to be cruel to you when they do not know who you really are.
Nitin Raikar Sep 4
Burning Pyres
Weeping Widows
Charred remains of innocents
Victims of political manipulation!!!

Alas! What has befallen
On this, once omni verdant paradise
A land painted Red
By Artists, who wield brushes
That bathe the canvas of Life
God the Almighty
I pray to you

To instill in the air
The euphony of ringing cymbals
Rather than the cacophony of deafening explosions

For if not
My brethren
Will be drowned
In the Whirlpools of Red Oceans!!!

@Nitin Raikar
My poem reflects the suffering of targeted genocides of humankind and also laments the internecine feuds leading to war and loss of human lives...
Lyn-Purcell Aug 4

I merely express my rioted mind
A forest of thoughts and loves
screams and fears,
angels and demons that run rampant
Leaving no part of me unmarred
For I am too aware of all around me
With eyes that speak more than they say
I may not say it but I miss nothing
Perhaps if I were stupid, I would be much happier

My heart is a torrent
Can I no be soothed by a coat of dew and a kiss of rain
I merely a woman who wishes to live and not survive
To be recognised but not seen
To contribute to a craft that I so truly love
For I only am one and have one life to live
For all the things I lack in this life,
Physical beauty
Total confidence
A pure conscience

But my fire is there to keep me warm from world's chaos

I sincerely hope that my many mistakes
will not overshadow my passions
For now, I truly understand the power
of artistic expression and integrity
And I feel as I do not deserve to even
tread the path of those I have admired all
these years and have been immortalised in mind...

I truly do not want to be false, a fraud, a fake
But more then ever, I want to be free...
Never will I take the power of the pen for granted again
For writing may be the is the one true
thing that shows the best part of me...

An entry I wrote in my diary yesterday before bed.
I find that I'm my most emotional and vulnerable at night,
It's so easy to be lost in my own head.
Lyn 💜🌹
Joshua Phelps Jul 23
Devastated by personal and political turmoil
The world, now in month seven of an outbreak,
Face tensions that have increased almost tenfold,
Since the virus took over.

Riddled with anxiety and uncertainty,
The people of the world watch in fear,
As the numbers climb, and people they love
Pass away from an illness
That took many innocent lives this year.

Feeling trapped,
Ensnared in the confines of their homes,
They're left to their own devices, viewing articles,
About a virus that scientists have yet to eradicate

Riddled with fear and doubt,
The people of the world wonder:
When will the world return to normal again?
Instead of posting links of how I've begun to lost hope, I tried to write this in a general perspective of how we're all feeling during the coronavirus pandemic. In the U.S., poor governmental response has left many without hope.

I hope something changes and a light shines our way to see out of this darkness that enshrouds us.
Elle Jul 9
Humming silent calmness
The gentle breeze over empty fields
Birds biting their tongues
Stillness in turmoil

Hateful deafening calm
Breath screaming into the wind
Feet covered by the dust coated earth
Uncomfortable by the peace
My mind finds any excuse to be uncomfortable these days.
Lyn-Purcell Jul 2

I seem to be deaf to the moon.
So pure yet cold,
it's soft light whispering deep
into my soul, lulling me to a peaceful
rest and yet, I turn away
Various seconds, minutes, hours, days,
months, years blow by like the wind;
fleeting and colourless
Am I not just a speck of dust,
a dancing vapour,
a grain of sand that will
crumble and be forgotten?
How I yearn to be more,
transcend through this mortal coil
to be free of any burdens
to not let my emotions gnaw and drink
from the pools of my sense
my securities
my dreams
and turn a woodland meadows
of light, life and birdsongs
into a blackened forest with raining
ash, brimstone sky
My quill and ink are there
but my hand turns to
that of golden stone, beautiful
but stiff
Still lost I am...
Where is the girl I thought I was?
I fear that all I've cloaked
I will one day become...
I know it's all obscure
But I plan to overcome

Imposter syndrome, a demon that is so hard to **** at times.
Sophie Sharp Jun 16
So many options.
When can't we just stay still?
Life is so packed that we start to forget,
Stop and just swallow this pill.
You can use distractions all your life,
Drink yourself to death,
Read every book, watch every film,
But what will you have left?

Emotions are all that really count,
But you're too scared to feel.
Your mind is closed off an unhealthy amount,
Maybe it's time to get real.
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