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zen 23m
I didnt think i would expose a poem,
or even,
conjour the courage to knit a cape out of my addiction...
This is me settling my habits with cigarettes to rest.

I ditch the nicotine and tobacco and cigarette paper,
and although the thought of this triumph is enriching,
Right now my spirit is pale, and stale of vigor,
The livliehood of a single puff,
could heal all pain of the moment,
until yet again,
time takes its toll,
Frozen I feel,
stuck and bewildered having my crutches
swept from the vice grips of my hands,
and now,
I am to stand on my own two,
with the will of my own my mind and my own heart.
Gravity is heavier here,
as if landing on planet Jupiter
Alien! Indeed is the feeling I feel, feeling, I fall...

Rugged and ruined under rain,
daggered with bows
and blind groping over braille,
Who knew victory could feel so grave, ill?
so grim and muggy and moody and mundane.
The greatest dynasties fell to dust,
and yet God doesnt even show a face familiar to man,
but is felt with the grace of a feather,
behold a blooming forever,
Clandestine, a boon worthwhile...
Roam wasnt built in one day!
I'm walking in the night,
In the night so fearsome.
Burned by another fight,
Another fight to come.

I'm walking in this fight,
In this fight upon love.
With the end in sight,
From above.
Keeping it up now,
Blowing it up, tearing it down.

Speak right, with your flawing mind,
We don't have no time,
Losing what we find.
You know we must try,
Try to see the sky,
We're leaving it to die,
Listen to it cry.

We stand just over the line,
We're out of our mind and astray.
We were never made to shine,
Just like the Sun, it may.

We are meant to fade away,
In the night, so lonely.
But its stars will talk one day,
In our fight, so strongly.
Holding it up now,
Building it up, shoving it down.

Speak now, with your dampened eye,
Speak without a lie,
Let the words flow by.
You know we must win,
When the world comes in,
The final peace will begin.
deephate
lossand anguish
it all mixesinto onelargemess
somewords dont eventouch thisfeeling
myeyes areallout of tears and hanghalfclosed
or is it halfopen to you whofeel
myheart—does itevenbeat
hard totell
youcant know
whati befeeling
howcan you foolsunderstand
youwant tohelp then LEAVEMEALONE
theresnothing youcando
tosave mefromthis
pit
of
des-
pair
ilike theblack
ofthis smallroom
iusedto likepink
iwanted
tobe
apretty princess
andlive inacastle witha
kingso kind
butdreams dont
cometrue
learnthisnow
youfools
dreams
are
like
pa-
per
burni­ngin
theFLAMES
OFHELL
just
like
me
.
.
.
.
do
not
give up
myChild
I still loveyou
myChild
youvegone farther
than
rockbottom
butlisten
to
Me
listen
listenlisten
toMe
.
.
.
.
I
THOUGHT
I GOTRIDOF
YOU
HOWDARE YOU
COMEINTO
THIS
SOULOFMINE
LEAVEHER
ALONE
you are
so
alone
myfriend
cantyousee
noonecares about
you
theylie
when theysay
dothose fools
listentomee
tome
listen
to
me
.
.
.
.
thischaos
inside
ican­notcontrol
itatall
iwantto
SCREAMAND
SHOUTbut
icant
i wantto
crybut icant
letgo
of
me
setme
FREE
p
l
e
a
s
e
.
.
.
.
up
uplook
upMy
C­hild
iamnot faraway
letyourheart
beat
beat
beat
again
takemy hand
myChild
iwill
neverleave
younor forsake
you myChild
istill
love
you
.
.
.
.
is
that
alight
itsbeenso
dark for solong
imnot evensure what
lightlooks like
do i dareto hope
dare tolook
up
up
up
.
.
.
.
YOU
FOOL
thereis nolight
light doesnot exist
ithought youwould have
LEARNEDTHIS BY NOW
theonly waytogo is
down
down
down
.
.
.
.
here
iam
myChild
here i am
take my
hand
please dontlook
down
dontlook
down
i
still
loveyou
myChild
ido
i
do
.
.
­.
.
i
cant
lookdown
doi darelook up
amieven worthit
thelight
is
faint
butican
see
it
clear
as day
.
.
.
.
NO
YOUFOOL
you arenot worthy
you cannot hope
donteven try
hope
is
frail
youcant
trust
hope
.
.
.
.
i
surprise
myself
is­till
look up
ithink maybe
there is a littlehope
maybethere
is a little
hope
.
.
.
.
yes
myChild
there is hope
still look up and see
the light gets
bigger
warmer
see me here
I still love
you
myChild
I still love you
.
.
.
.
NO YOU FOOL
no you fool
no
you
fool
.
.
.
.
the
light
is warm
the light is
bright
i
like
the light
i like
the
light
.
.
.
.
no
dont leaveme
here alone
listen to me
one last
time
.
.
.
.
LEAVE
MYCHILD ALONE
myChild
you are
safe
here in
the
light
you are safe
here in the light
i still love you.
I originally wanted to write something about suicide but this came out in the end. This is about a battle that most people can't see. But it is a battle that goes on within all of us.
i can't seem to sleep
your touch lingers on my thoughts
you're always on my mind
collecting all the dust
cleaning out all the bad stuff
it's moving day for us
we've been turning this into something good
if that's really the truth, why am i up so long -
my eyelids like weights
my body like quicksand,
stuck in this place called "you" -
thinking about us and how it could all be so wrong
"never date your ex"
isn't that what they say?
i always tell myself that so why can't i stay away?
i'm stuck in this tidal wave
you're pulling me in
pulling me in
i'm afraid i might be pulled under again, you see
i do not want to drown again
not again
not because of you
honey, if you're going to stay, please just stay for good
why tear down my walls again like you're just chopping up wood
with an ax
right where it hurts the most
and the scary thing is, if you left, it probably wouldn't hurt
it's just a battle on repeat
the same wound again, i'm numb
you can't hurt me anymore
so if you're going to hurt me, just do it
that way, i wouldn't have to peek around every corner
wondering if it's the end of us
i want to walk away from people,
to go to places, to pick up pebbles
to do the things
i wanna do,
i wanna learn,
i wanna achieve

i don't blame anyone but myself
for the things I have felt
throughout my life,
everyday,
every regret,
every dismay

all these what ifs
kept me puzzled overtime
kept me awake until my eyes droop
the next morning,
the next struggle,
the next challenge

i have never tasted rest
since it started to grow in me
it's a never ending battle
between mind and body,
wants and needs
aspirations and responsibilities
me versus me
Avi 7d
This constant battle between
my self and the demons
plagues me to no end.
It destroys me.
It empowers me.
It is me.
Yet, I wonder what shall
happen when the victor
is crowned…
Should I worry?
Oh, yes! We worry!
daniellaap Oct 7
currently in a battle with a dream
I have not expected to be this hard,
to be this complicated & mind-wrecking
until I realized, I'm trapped

trapped inside a prison cell
fighting for glory without strength, without drive
I'm beginning to feel my flesh, my soul
gradually turning black, burning down

this is not what I wanted, what I wished for
maybe this is not for me
i'm failing, falling too many times,
too tired to get up again and again

years passed, this is the last
I wonder if I am to escape atlast
before the time ticks too fast,
that I'll perish into bones and pass
All you need to do
is fake a smile
and move on
with your day.

Hold back the tears,
Suppress the demons
and pretend you're okay

Some days it's not worth
all the effort that's
draining you inside out

Exhaustion follows you
all day for all the battles
you fought last night

You're brave but you
feel so scared
Running in circles

It feels so pointless,
Yet so meaningful
Stabbing you every way
until you give up.

Don't ever give up-
Reread this poem
and know how strong you really are.
View more poems on my instagram
www.instagram.com/SkullsNB0nes
daniellaap Oct 5
saw myself walking around campus
contemplating about life, about me
it's not just the good things i need to focus
but also those that caused my plea

there are things, circumstances
which I cannot control
those of which triggers those chances
of getting myself into a brawl

yes, i'm always in a fight
a fight with myself, my mind
all the silent cries i have to experience every night
really felt like a daily grind

for other people,
they always thought I'm happy
but the truth is I'm in trouble
for pretending and being carefree
Now that I knew more about myself, I realized that it wasn't healthy to just let it pass because there are things that we have to let go especially when it hurts you so much. Despite everything , I thank God and I'm truly grateful for my family who understands me.
I've been sailing this Old Ironsides
For a long time now
Going to Ithaca in the Northeast Coast
It's a place, in the Northernmost

Waterspout is hitting my vanguard
And maple leaves are slowly falling
Together with the bow in my hands
The first tear broke freely

Furious waves hits the anchor
But the chain can't be destroy
It's made from titanium and tungsten alloy
Serenades the coming of the tide!

Harvesting the labor of perseverance
Is this a voyage of valiancy?
A flock of thoughts liberated with exclamation
As your fears of autumn blue forgotten

In the middle of the sea
Azure His majestic colors
Aesthetic shades filled the place
And the sword wobbly in the air
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