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amber Oct 9
this is not supposed,
to fade this quickly.
I'm not meant,
to sink back,
into misery.
have initial butterflies,
already faded?
has my view of you,
already become jaded?
do you like me,
as you say you do...
or am I just ***,
and a dumb joke to you?
What did she have that I’m missing? What did you have then vs. now that changes things? It’s hard to feel like it’s not me. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’m adding to your stress and I’m sure I’m not helping but I just want you to see what this seems like to me, especially considering my history— nobody has ever been sure of me, really.
9/17/19
I get that it’s not me, now. thanks for explaining.
Even the guy who didn’t really want me, was able to get down on one knee. Hell, he even married me— albeit unfaithfully.
Is that why you can’t do the same thing? Do you not really want me? Or are you not sure I’m everything you need?
Why am I not enough for you to really choose me?
9/17/19
I liked that night, we were flying
As the black cloaked your stars, you had your eyes closed
Sleep-deprived and half dead I thought of loving you
It seemed foolish

On the ground, it felt dizzy
like you spun me around
Friendly smiles were small
Everything was so dead I didn’t think of you

I don’t know the day where I thought of it as more
It wasn’t a day but a memory, a rememory
The buttons were pushed before I was ready

Anxiously I worked and worked and acted like your honey didn’t matter to me
It didn’t, I convince myself even now
But the moment came in capitals
You thought I was unattainable

The breaks were pressed by those closest
Of course they were, it’s what they’re there for
I waited and waited and waited and I got tiny answers

I got fragments, particles, portions
I never got it all
I still don’t have it all
Is this you
Is this my body?
Worse, is it my mind

Tell me now, if I ask too much
Tell me now, if communication won’t be our thing
Tell me now If we won’t be our own thing
But just tell me
Tell me anything
Because I need to be told
Jules AA Sep 3
Our world is so beautiful
the trees in metamorphosis,
verdant or burning or bare,
the birds that sing you awake
flutter about carelessly.
The stars that kiss our skin
as we dance by fire in the dark,
and quenching rains
that bring to life the senses—
Oh Earth, why then am I so bereft
of Joy?
Why then does the sun not shine on me
as a flower
and bring life?
leo arden Aug 31
one and another played a game in the forest

where the dark trunks rose tall

and the creatures were a chorus.

the delicate blue air in the midnight’s gloom

left one disoriented:

are the sounds one’s voice too?

one wondered and wandered, but after some time,

another’s voice and one’s thoughts

intertwined in one’s mind.

one cried and one protested, one just didn’t know;

was one even moving?

for one lost feeling in one’s feet below.

the cold wind blurred one’s sight, and nothing seemed clear

so one closed one’s eyes

overtaken by fear.

one was without feeling, legs to chest, and even one’s face.

now all one wanted

was another’s kind, warm embrace.
embrace one another.
Jaxey Aug 17
She kissed him
With question marks?
While he kissed her
With "quotations"
And together they became
a run on sentence...
It never ends.
eva-mae Aug 15
here.
and then not.
well now what?

he’s holding back tears,
this soft summer
says he has a cold,

my hand magnetically,
attaches to his shoulder
and pulls him closer.

He kisses my head,
“you’re such a good friend”
as his arm snakes round my shoulder.

now we’re lying.
swaying summer grass
his hand takes mine,

jokes that my arm
is in the wrong place,
Corrects it with caress.

we are standing somewhere,
here and then not,
this isn’t fair
well now what?
what do I need to say
to say I love you
how can you not know
how can I not know
if you think of me
in such a way

I will tell you soon
when the moon is right
when your smile is bright
and cuts through all the pain
of waiting
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