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james 5d
fun and games
and bright lights on strings
stuffed plushies & autumn leaves
and kindness from every
person i see

until
you remove the carnival glass
and im seen for what i am
and the carnival goers
in all their own carnival masks
do not understand

ive spoken my truth
so they pack up the stands
pile bright costumes
into dark vans

and i find myself left
with an empty field
of cold air
such is the harsh reality of being known
Try hard to push through
Try to bring back the new.
But along comes guilt and shame.
But they wont stop playing their game.

Relationship seems at risk
Relationship seems so brisk.
Maybe it's all in my head
Maybe it's already dead.

Intimacy is more than ***
Intimacy's more of a reflex.
But I need to have honesty
But the one closed off is really me.

Trauma stops any progress
Trauma causing so much stress.
Maybe I can run away
Maybe this problem is to stay.
(c) Allison Wonder
9/30/19
Big Virge Sep 29
"Arrogance" ... or ...
"Self-Belief" .... ??????  

Which of These ... ?  
Is Part of ... ME ... ?  
  
I Have An Idea ... !!!  
But ... What Do You See ... ?  
  
Some Have Said ...  
  
They See ... VANITY ... !!!!!  
  
Well For Many Years ...  
I Saw ..... **** ......  
  
Cos' That's What People ...  
........ Said To Me ........  
  
BIG NOSE ... BIG LIPS ...  
And .... " CroOKed Teeth " ....  
and YES .... Dark Skin ....  
Make Me ... COMPLETE ...  
  
But Nazis And ....  
Those In ... " White Sheets " ...  
Don't Think That .... I ....  
Should Walk The Streets .... !!!  
  
That's Why I NOW ....  
Have ... " SELF BELIEF " ... !!!!!  
  
NOT ... Arrogance ... !!!  
Or ...... " VANITY " ..... !!!!!
  
You Should Check ...  
Your ... " HIS-Story " ...  
  
I'm NO LONGER Gonna Be ...
........ Made To Feel ........  
  
Like I'm ... " **** " ... !!!!!  
  
By ... ANYONE ...  
Who's ... Fearing Me ...  
Because of Things ...  
They Hear Me Speak ...  
  
.... " YES " ....  
I Am ... SMART ... !!!!!  
And Have ... " BEAUTY " ... !!!!!  
  
Outside and ...  
Inside of ... ME ... !!!  
  
I Move With GRACE ...  
And ...... " DIGNITY " ........  
  
And Maintain THIS ....  
  
....... humility ........  
  
That's ... SELF-BELIEF ... !!!  
NOT .... " Vanity " .... !!!!! ....  
  
How Dare You Try ...  
To Say That's ... ME ... !!!!!  
  
ALI ... Showed Blacks ...
...... How To Be ...... !!!  
  
He Spoke His Mind ...  
And Touched Mankind ... !!!!!  
  
YES ... " Black and White " ...  
  
Even When They ....
.... " Criticised " .... !!!!!  
  
But Nowadays ....  
Those SAME White Guys ... ?  
Have Now .... Accepted ....  
  
He Was .... " WISE " ....  
  
... And ...  
  
" SHOCKED THE WORLD !!! " ...
  
When He Won Fights ...  
And PROVED His Words ...  
Were ... NOT JUST Rhymes ... !!!!!  
  
Some ... Would Say ...  
He Was ... " ARROGANT " ... !!!!!!  
  
Well ...  
I Would Say ...  
  
He Used BRAVADO ...
For ... " Defence " ... !!!  
  
While ... Many Think ...  
That Pounds and Pence ...  
Or ......... Even Worse ............  
  
YES ... Dollars and Cents ... !!!  
Make Them .... FEEL ....  
A Sense of .... " Strength " ....  

Kind of Like .... THOSE ....  
  
In .... " Parliament " .... !?!  
  
It's NICE To Hear ...  
  
... " A Compliment !!! " ...  
  
But ...  
If You Don't Want To ...  
  
DON'T GIVE ME ONE ... !!!  
  
Trust Me Son .....  
  
I'll ... Do It MYSELF .... !!!!!!!  
  
It Helps Me COPE ...  
With ... "My Problems" ...  
And ... Problems People ...  
Have With ..... ME ......  
Like Saying ... I'm Full of ...  
  
...... " VANITY " ...... !!!!!!  
  
That's ... NOT ME ... !!!  
  
But ...
Is That ... YOU ... ???  
  
Do You Feel ... ?  
You ... Have To PROVE ...  
That You're ... STRONG ...  
Just Like .... KING KONG .... !?!  
  
Don't You ... REMEMBER ... ?!?  
What Happened To Him ... !!!!!  
  
Women and Men ...
Should ... " OVER-stand " ... !!!!!  
  
You're Told You're WEAK .... !!!  
By ....  Government Man ....  
To Make You ... Feel ...  

That ...  
You Should Be ... PLEASED ... !!!  
  
That ...  
  
You Don't Have To BEG ...  
For Your ... Daily Meal ... !!!!!!!  
  
When ... MANY People ... !!!  
Get A ... " RAW DEAL " ... !!!!!!  
  
So ...
How Do Those Words ... ?  
Make You ..... " FEEL " ..... !?!  
  
I WON'T ... "conceal" ... !!!  
But Will ... REVEAL ... !!!!!!!  
  
The Man ... I See ... !!!!!  
  
A Man of ... Words ...  
Who Has Now ... Learned ...  
  
To Believe In ... " ME " ... !!!!!!  
  
NOT .... " Society " .... !!!!!!  
  
Cos' ... "Society" ...  
DOESN'T ... Want To See ... !!!  
  
A Man Like Me ...  
USE .... " Poetry " ....  
To Make Individuals ...  
Finally SEE ...

That ... "SELF BELIEF" ...  
  
ISN'T .... Vanity .... !!!!!!!  
  
Take A Look In Your Mirror ...  
And ... When You See ...  
  
An ... ARROGANT Glimmer ...  
Let VANITY ... " simmer " ...  
And Drift ........ Awaaaaaaayyyyyyy ................................................  
  
Like .....  
  
Watching Kids Play .....  
On A .... " Beautiful Day " .... !!!!!  
  
These Are .... " Words "  
To .... Help You Sway ...  

Your Mind .... AWAY ....  
From ................................................ " ARROGANT WAYS " ... !!!!!!

See ....... SELF BELIEF .......  
Can Give ... Relief  ...  
  
And May Just HELP ...  
Your Mind To ... " REACH " ... !!!!!  
  
A Place of .... " HOPE "  
And ..... " Inner Peace " ......  
  
My Thanks Go Out ...  
To The ... " Master Jeff " ... !!!  
And The ... " Henry Family " ... !!!!!  
  
For Showing Me .... " LOVE " ....  
When I WASN'T ... " Loving Me " ... !!!!!  
  
These Are Words ...  
That Bring ... " Tears to my Eyes " ...  

Cos' They Take My Mind ...
Back To ... " Sad Times " ...
I Have Had ... "Within My Life" ... !!!
  
But Now I'm ... UP ... !!!!!!  
And Willing To ... FIGHT ... !!!!!!!!  
  
For .... " Peace and Love " ...  
Within ... " My Life " ... !!!
  
"Mum, rest in PEACE !  
I LOVE YOU STILL !  
More than any, Dollar Bill !"    
  
So Folks ....  
Let Me Ask You ?  
  
What Do You See ... ?  
  
An ... ARROGANT MAN ...  
of ..... " VANITY " ......  
  
Or A Man Who's ...  
... "EMBRACING" ....  
  
.... " SELF BELIEF " .... ?
Two, VERY DIFFERENT Things, in my opinion.
Whenever
Poet/Poetess falls in love
Expect different
Expect forever

They will adjust their height
To reach you
They will adjust their time
To honor you
Pay attention to their eyes
Every time it will be dilated
When it's about you

Using metaphors
They will try to reflect
Your presence
Through their Ink
Sometimes as a flower
Sometimes as an ant
Sometimes as a bird

Purity
Honesty
Beauty
What you are to their soul

They may
Burn their emotions
They might share it to you
They may stay silent
Wishing peace to you
However
Never they will stop
Loving you
Genre: Experimental
Theme: To the eternity you will live
It’s so much easier to lie to you with my fingers and thumbs than with my tongue.

So I keep to myself.
I’d rather you hate me for who I’m not, than hate me for who I really am.
Jeff Lewis Sep 20
The way we rewrite
Our histories,

The way we polish
Our achievements

The way we conceal
Our all our flaws

I have to wonder
About memory

Was I ever that "me"
That I recall
Was reading camila's 'How's this song called' when my brain did this.
don't expect me to be easy
theres a fire in my gut
and i wont put it out
for the likes of
y
o
  u

Esther L. Krenzin
Alice Sep 19
there is a soft emptiness in
my bones
and i still
don't quite know what's supposed to
fill it
but your smile
and laugh
and
heartbeat
seem to pour into my
hollow chest
too quickly
and take up
entirely
too much space
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