"She speaks before she thinks,"
The lady said.
For I was sitting calmly in my chair,
Looking at my plate,
Not knowing, yet again, what I did wrong.
I think before I speak,
I speak before I think.
What does that mean?
For up until now,
All that I said,
All that I spoke,
Was what I thought.
And all that I thought, I spoke.
There was no filter.
It was all coming right through my mouth,
Just like the river passes through,
The stones here and there,
Flows through nature,
Unperturbed.
But oh, how things have changed.
Oh, how things have changed.
All that I thought, I said,
And all that I said, I thought.
But oh, no longer.
For I have installed a permanent filter on my mouth,
With holes so small, almost nothing passes through.
The only way to be remotely acceptable for the world
Is to walk around with that colander.
With smaller holes, that is.
When did things become so complicated?
Why is it that everything I say,
Everything I think,
I should keep it to myself?
There is no way to share with anyone what's going on inside.
Because God forbid, they see who you truly are.
God forbid they see who you truly are.
God forbid they don't accept you.
God forbid they reject you.
Enough.
I don't need a colander on my mouth.
I don't need it.
I'll walk around with a free soul,
Grounded in the belief that I have a good heart.
Whoever my words touch,
They'll caress the right people
And pinch the rest.
Because breathing has become more difficult.
Because smiling has become more difficult.
Because kissing is basically impossible.
That's why today,
I take it off.
Forever.
