I should’ve known how this would end
We played the part of distant friends
I knew this would hurt like a metal fist
When I came near & barely felt your kiss
You should’ve seen my hand the other day
Shaking and trembling like a rusty train
When it comes and goes in a fiery blaze
Lungs burn, blood boils, a grueling state
I’m calling around for a saving grace
And with two bruised knees, I’ll try to pray
What was that thing you said to my face?
Honey you’ll find love but not today
After so long
I let my heart bleed out
on my sleeve
on my tongue.
And you countered with reason,
left me pale,
as my life blood spilt
so deep I drowned.
You flayed my psyche.
Left my intentions bare
for me to see.
Was this love?
I had just grown wings
and you tore them from my flesh
And I fell from a cloud,
back into my shallow grave,
buried in closure.
I didnt plan on writing this.
I wanted to diversify.
You said write from the heart.
Well all that's in there is you.
I used to be hopeless,
Now I'm full
of your love,
of all our moments together,
of the future I see.
You awaken something in me.
A part of me.
The best part.
And its you.
I rather you tell me
You don't want me
Then lead me on
You end up hurting me more
If you don't just say the truth
Let my mind overthink
Let it wonder
Let me question
But please don't
Ask why I am gone
I may seem naive
But I know you don't want me
And that's okay
Please don't say you miss me
I have heard it all before
This why I don't give in too quickly
You never know about people
They lose interest
They no longer want you
Is it something you did
You will never know
All I ask is
Even if it may hurt me
I can take it
the ******* version of me
always got the most things.
I’m being told to practice honesty,
getting sober kind of really *****
most of the time.
I take my medication every morning,
I go to my meetings at night.
I fill in the spaces with adjectives and nouns and bad reality tv.
I make my phone calls
and attend my appointments
and talk truthfully with the counselors
who have the same credentials as me.
But I float along on my “pink cloud”,
happy to not be bleeding out of my nose
or begging my racing heart
to please, calm down.
I feel things,
maybe less intensely than before
but in a real sort of way,
that isn’t filtered through
whatever I decided to numb myself with.
It’s not exciting, it’s not glamorous,
but I guess I’d rather live this way
than trudge through hell every day
and die a disappointment.
Breathlessly broken, yes we are,
Nothing more, nothing less;
Held together by cheap regrets,
And the stains of beer and cigarettes.
Shamelessly spoken, yes it's true,
The passing of life, nothing left;
Soaked to the skin in compromise,
Burnt from within by our troubling lies.
TS Lefort. May 2020
How will you see?
How will you measure me?
Because all I do is state the truth
Truths of life and death; truths
Of fairylands and ruthless errands
So, how will you see
If I truly am being me
The scale I play within
Is just too broad for any accurate measurements
I worry then
Will you ever be able to see
A fact too obvious; a fact so sly:
Two distinct truths, when put together
Are still a lie.
A confession; The gaping holes you see, aren't really imaginary.
So... Moving On ……………..
It’s Time To Go Beyond...
Corona Virus Songs...
Because Now I’m Inspired...
By Where I Belong In This World of Wrongs...
So It’s Time To Look DEEPER Into What Features...
Into Who I Am... Big Virge The MAN...
... Am I A Sham...
... Am I Really A Man... !?!
Now By That I Mean Within Society...
Could I Ever Fit With New Gender Kids...
Because Where I Sit Is A... Simple Ting’...
Woman And Man And Then Children...
I Just Can’t Get With Negating That Plan... !!!!!
But Let’s Clear This Up Quick...
Different Views Exist...
When It Comes To These Things...
And That’s... LEGIT... !!!
So For New Gender Herds...
These Are WELL OBSERVED Words... !!!
... Y'all Need To Deal With It... !!!
Live How Ya Wanna Live …
But REMEMBER THIS...
When You FORCE Something...
Isn't That Like … ******...?!?
But... MOVING ON...
That Lyric Was STRONG...
And May Cause Me PROBLEMS... !!!
But Because of THIS...
That It's... SOUND Logic... !!!
But Moving On...
Do My Words Belong In A Coffin... LONG... ?!?
Because Many Have Left My Skills For DEAD... !!!!!!
Because My Poems Have Hurt Their Heads...
Because of Their Strength...
Because of Their Length...
Because of Their Depth...
Because of Their Breadth...
And Because NONSENSE...
Is A Thing They REJECT... !!!
And Because Common Sense...
Is What They... DEFEND... !!!
Instead of Being Lead...
By Money And ***... !!!
But... Moving On........
When It Comes To My Dad …
Was He Good Or Bad... ?!?
After Beating My Mum …
Til Her Eyes Were Black... !?!
I Mean …..
What Kind of Man Treats His Wife Like THAT... !?!
But Moving On...
When It Comes To My Mum …
I Can Only See Love...
Way Above This Stuff …
Like … Corona Bugs... !!!!!
But Moving On...
Have You Had Enough …
of These Words I Run... ?
Cos’ This Piece Was Quite Fun …
And Now It's Almost Done...
But It Is Also About... DEEP Reflection... !!!
On How My Life...
Has Developed My Mind...
To Write These Rhymes...
Even In These Times...
Where Corona Vibes Are Taking Lives...
But This Here Line Will Let Hope SHINE...
Humanity WILL INDEED SURVIVE...
Because It’s STRONG....
And WILL Always Find Ways...
........ “ Moving On “......... !!!
Whoever remains after all of this craziness, will most certainly have to !
I don’t think about you.
Instead, I think of ways to be happy.
You are not a part of that.
In my mind, love comes to me.
Loud and clear without hesitation,
Love finds me.
For this to be true,
I know it isn’t you.
The sun was my reason.
The stars, moon, galaxies, never ending space,
Guiding light, journey without end.
More than fairytales..
Love that is real.
Love that means more..