After days of fighting again, of going round and round and circles... I woke up to the most beautiful, burning, sunrise... the orange clashing with the pinks in the most beautiful and chaotic way. Inspired by the sky, I accepted he was never going to change his ways... the friendship was never going to change and always end and restart the same way like it has... with damaging words and unforgiving flames from the fires he was always lighting.
We're all ****** when it comes to "love" or "like." I've learned that by now right? It starts with racing heartbeats and stars in the eyes. It starts as a fun crush, but some move onto more while others are stuck with just crushes. Wishing that he would like you instead of her... Or wishing that you were special compared to his past girlfriends. Or thinking that when he constantly looks at you that must mean something right? Or it ends with heartbreak and wishing you could just have your best friend back.
So, here it goes... This is for me and all my girl friends.
There's one who says she's over her ex and I believe her, but she still wants to hang out with her ex like that's normal. There's another that looks at the guy she likes while he's talking about another girl. There's another that knows she deserves better but settles for a guy that doesn't want to commit to commitment. She's the catch here. There's another, they would be so good together, but he's taking forever to make his intentions known. Should she dare to hope? Then, there's me, who pines for a guy that is a shy one and he looks like he has some interest... But there's a big problem of distance. We may never have a chance to start.
Why do we go for the complicated ones? Why are we the cats in this game of "love"?
I'm writing this really in frustration for my friends in how hard they may be hurt in the process of their relationship or at the end of it. Every one of them has their reasons or irrational reasons for liking who they like or staying with them. Honestly, the same goes for me. I should just get over this guy... I don't even know if I have a chance. But don't we all get ****** because of someone?
Better a flawed diamond, than a perfect pebble. Deny your own heart; you’re a rebel. I cry for your happiness, you’ve laid it on a pile of bones. This is why so many people lose diamonds in search of stones.
But diamonds are brilliant & bright, And pressure only makes them shine with light.
One carat gone, a thousand more to find. From the rough, new stars shall be mined. I hope you are not left with only coal, Because I’m about to discover the light of my soul.
For while you grant me the strength to live, and the resolve to thrive, While you grant me the loyalty of the most loving companion, While your kindness draws the eyes of strangers and the hearts of the bitter, And while you have pledged all of this to me, in an act of love I can never hope to see again, I must depart.
Because for all your virtues, you could never see that your flaw was me.
aka. The concluding remarks of a letter I never sent
Stop Yes you do What does it help Does it not bother you to think of what we had or what we wanted to be It kills me Then forget it Don't do that to yourself But that would only hurt so much worse You're telling me