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Asonna Nov 2021
It's here...
The time has come,
yet my feelings unmatched
to how i thought i would handle it.
this pain that dwells,
a haunting like no other.
Permanently ingrained,
stitched to my soul ...
the raw thought,
rolling your name off the tongue
in the past tense.
They're not just tears.
My eyes, they leak.
Hitched with the breath that plays repreat.

You push on...
But how?
the new day starts,
the old pain persists.
I don't want to miss you.
Let me keep loving you, still.
I know you no longer suffer,
but right now it's transfered.
I struggle to breathe
Struggle to sleep
Struggle to let your memories creep in.
I don't want to miss you,
But I'll never stop loving you, still.
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2021
I hate how I love this feeling
Warmth that crawls through each vein
All control lost in it's presence
Dependency driving insane

I ride wave like a surfboard
Wherever it may go
No matter how low it carries me
Don't have the will to let go

Time spins circles around
Feels like I am frozen in place
Not only am I not in first
Not even running the race

But wings of comfort lift
In the air while I am high
I inevitably come crashing down
That comfort is only a lie

Hardly notice pain when I land
The drugs have made me numb
It is only when I run out of them
That I am forced to face what I've become

I watch dreams slip out of hands
They fly somewhere out of range
In their place are thorny regrets
Does not seem like a fair exchange

Nothing good blooms here anymore
Body became a barren wasteland
Only the occasional tumbleweed
Rolls across desert of sand

My soul scorched and blackened
Like earth where lightning struck
All the universe offers me
A pocketful of bad luck

The world a beautiful place I know
To me it no longer looks that way
Envy the people who still see it as such
From my perspective surroundings are grey

Maybe if I hold on a little longer
Blue skies will one day return
It's hard to hope when you've witnessed
Everything you love and care for burn

And it is even harder living
Amidst ashes of your greatest desire
When you cannot escape the awful fact
You're the one who started the fire
This one came from deep in the heart
Tichozpytec Apr 2021
That feeling
Like you want to smash your head against hard ceiling
Like you want to cut your arm off to justify the hurt
The longing for a box surrounded by dirt
The want for tears when you are not an easy crier
The desire to set yourself on fire
The dominance of hate, the absence of love
The constant reminders you are not good enough
That hurt after you've been wronged
While you are cursing yourself for not being strong
To talk and scream towards your foe
Feeling like you are the lowest of the low
Is a feeling I can't wait to never experience again
Can't wait to laugh "Oh, how silly I have been!"
Somewhere further down the line

I can't wait to feel just fine...
Maruko San Jul 2020
It can be beautifully awful
or awfully beautiful
with so many hurtful memories
and untold stories
but mostly are depressing and
unwanted marks of the past
SA Szumloz Jun 2020
You try so desperately to fit in,
Playing the monkey of which others see you as
Unfortunately, there is no way of winning
When you're the Elephant Man.
Apoorv Bhardwaj Apr 2020
I saw a 10 year old,
Walking down the street,
With a handful of bowl
And in another a younger kin.
Chanting "what was our sin?"

I saw a handsome lover,
Beside a lonesome tree
Strangled by the memories
Of his lover who loved somebody else
Trying to stop how does it feel.
Writing up the blues to heal.

I saw an old aged person
Who barely can walk
He was happy, had a family
Not so long ago
Sitting with his basket
upon the sidewalk
With nowhere to go

I hope you think about them
If not me when you say
Life is unfair.

I saw a mother of two,
Sunken beneath a pannier.
Dreary eyes and a crooked leg,
Says the burden of life's heavier.

I saw a husband, a son,
A father of one.
Miles away from home,
Aiming to be suffice,
Guarding the border,
A few laughin' at the sacrifice.

I saw a man in a white coat,
People say he's akin to god.
Broken in tears saying
'There are battles that can't be won
For these hands saved so many
Now loosing a loved one.'

I hope you think about them
If not me when you say
Life is unfair.

I saw the dreamers
Quitting before they die.
Heard them saying that
they gave a million try.

I saw people dying in lone
That were once on the Billboards
At times there's no one to hold
I saw blind men crossing roads.

I saw the animals crying for the lost homes,
People fencing their little domes.
I saw the birds crying for the lost trees,
The poor cries and no one sees.

And yet you say
Life is unfair.
Amidst so much of suffering life goes on.
noah Feb 2020
i made this week difficult.

i was struggling with myself and i made it hard for you too.
i turned nothing into problems
and blamed those problems for my ****-ups.

i hurt you
and i knew i was hurting you
and i did it anyway.

i said things
and made you sound like the bad guy

but i was a *****.

and im sorry.
i will spend forever saying sorry and hoping you still think it's okay.
Fenixx Menefee Jan 2020
I used to think I was flawless, truth is I am less than perfect.
I can't believe how awful I am, but I mean, what do you expect?
I am less than perfect, that much is true, but I can't help but wonder
What does perfection physically look like? Each of these ideas I plunder.

I don't know. I'm not sure about anything anymore. Haven't a clue.
Everywhere I look, it's just multiple copies of the darkest shade of blue.
Everyone stares at me, their soulless eyes, a dead, glazed look.
So I try to keep my head down, hiding behind my many notebooks.

Perfect. Why even have a word for something that doesn't exist?
It's a useless word, something I try to avoid but it always persists.
Sometimes I think about if I were perfect. What would I look like? Act?
Then I try to push the many thoughts away, they're way too abstract.

What does it mean to be perfect? It means to not have ANY flaws.
That's all I'll ever hear, "Be more perfect, you'll gain some applause!"
I hate that I have live with this idea of perfection, it's a "utopia", so dumb.
So I have to change myself to be the person that people want me to become.
I used to think I was perfect. I was not and am not.
Ash C Jan 2020
I'm told I'm talented, beautiful, amazing, smart.

Told I'm a goddess, way ahead of others, easy to talk to.

But all that doesn't matter, because I'm also told I'm a *****.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
I never truly understood before
Meaning of the word "bittersweet"
Until this moment our fingers
Cautiously extend to meet

The rush of longing fills body
Mix of nostalgia and despair
Electric passion flowing through me
Almost more than I can bear

The teardrops wet my expressionless face
I am thankful the sky is dark
You tentatively fiddle with the radio
Unaware I'm falling apart

I am trying so hard to be grateful
Each second I spend with you
The whole time our skin is touching
Wondering if you're grateful too

My eyes glisten and betray dismay
You finally notice something is wrong
Crack a joke to make me laugh a little
The happiness only lasts so long

One look at you
My hopes soar
In sinking waves of blue drown
Scolding stupid emotions for flying
I know our love will come crashing down

Yet despite desperate restraints
Expectations climb against will
So fond of you it makes me sick
Too infatuated I feel ill

The air coats clothes with loneliness
Lungs with empty residue
Stardust permeates sore limbs
Brightening everything we do

So curl up halfway on your lap
Savoring temporary bliss
The agonizing thoughts lurking in my brain
Are not so easy to dismiss

The ecstasy blooming in my center
Is why I remain here
Why does all the good between us
Have to be tainted by pain or fear?

The sizzling sensations are sweet
Presence infects my core with glitter
It's the inevitable hurt when you break me in two
Rendering me jaded and bitter

Now I realize how wonderful
Yet awful that word can be
Learned it is impossible
Spelling bittersweet without "we"
Finally one I am proud of that is semi-recent
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