I have a confession.
I am not a good person.
I know it isn't original, and I know you've heard this too many times from too many broken people.
But it's the only shred of honesty I can give so please accept it...
Because I do not know how to forgive myself for this tower of lies I built over the last month and a half.
I am not a good friend.
And you know I try. But I haven't been trying as hard as I used to.
But I want to try and make things right.
I have convinced myself that heaven seems too high up for me to get to.
And I'm here asking you to tell me there is still a chance for me to be saved from my life.
I went to church today for the first time in months.
I saw old friends, and read new verses... I learned more.
Although I still feel like an outcast in this place we call "safe".
I can't feel your presence near me even when I pray.
It's like I've cut the communication lines and there is no repairing them.
I am willing to work for my life.
I will build houses of faith and sing praises until I drop, but it won't be enough.
I work well under pressure. So if you told me that getting to heaven was as simple as building a ladder as high as I could in 24 hours, I would work through war and hellfire to get there.
I would climb every rung until the ladder ended above the clouds and started feeling like the solid foundation of a life restarted.
I can only hope you will accept me with open arms, forgiveness...
And a "hello."
She knows not her limits
She knows not her power
She is searching who she is
She wants answer on who she wants to be
She has her mind filled with confusions
She craves a bit attention
She tries to be perfection
She does not know her destination
But she wants to go back home
and be free from future dilemmas
किसी ख्वाब का कभी ऐतबार ना करना,
दोस्ती की हदों को कभी पार मत करना,
खो दोगे उसे हमेशा के लिये,
जो अच्छा लगे उसे कभी प्यार मत करना...
Kisi khwaab ka kabhi aetbaar na karna,
Dosti ki hadon ko kabhi paar mat karna,
Kho doge use hamesha ke liye,
Jo acchha lage use kabhi pyaar mat karna...
Trust merely a dream never,
Cross friendship's limits never,
You will lose them for forever,
Who you like must be loved never...
When you want something
When you know it is within reach
Like water and bread within an inch of the bars of your jail
A jail which keeps you as only prisoner
Life is joy
Life is fair
Life isn’t fair
Life is cruel
To know your limits
To know you will never be able to surpass them
To know that you will never be accepted
It’s eating me up inside
Until the day I die
I want to be a part of every day’s course
I want to work I want to celebrate
I want to try I want to fail
I want to live
But the mind cannot keep up
It tires the body to the very core
To see everyone walking past me
Leaving me behind
It makes me sad
It makes me want to cry
But I can’t
If I could express these feelings of mine
Being a prisoner of your own mind
To know and to experience
I wish I was just ignorant and dumb
Being smart but never being able to use it
Even a prisoner needs to move forward
A life without a goal isn’t worth living
I don’t condemn my life
I just wished there would be someone who understands
I know that I will be a prisoner for life
But it would mean so much
If there would be someone
Who would reach out to me
Because it’s just within reach
The water and bread
In this lonely prison
Within my mind
We are being put at our limits
No where to turn except to the hate, pain, and suffering.
Because everywhere we go it haunts us.
We can't even be positive if we try,
'Cause behind the happiness
Is where the negativity lies.
We are told "Sometimes you have to go though the darkness of the tunnel to get to the light."
But why have to go through that pain?
Because someone else wanted to hate?
All the pain does is break you down into the littlest of the bread crumbs fed to a pigeon at a local park.
And what if we don't get to the light at all?
'Cause our limits are shattered and broken beyond compare,
Never to be fixed.