and suddenly i can see them, colours like i've been so oblivious to their existence before. i notice the yellow rim around my towels and the redness of my lips, the shampoo bottle is actually blue and my scrunchies reflect deep purple. like my eyes and my soul have become desensitised to the beauty surrounding my life. A life full of colour. I don't want to merely exist anymore, I am happy to be alive.
My stomach twists and turns every time I see you staring down at your phone screen as I’m trying to conversate with you but you don’t dare look up at me, probably because you don’t care about what I have to say your phone is more interesting...
A lake Running deep A line stretched To its core. What is it that makes me so Unsure?
A hand In a trembling fit Reaches towards a heaven, May I be free forevermore.
A threatening warmth in my centre Drowns my soul, Permanently stuck in a winter It’s futile to wait For the passing of the cold So I am stuck In my own Quicksand. Stuck Unable to understand The magnitude of it all And so I fall And a certain numbness takes over me, A certain bewilderment Because I have been seized and I do not see.
let me rip away the ivory from the elephant in the room rebuke its presence cover my ears so i don’t have to realize these anxieties you bring they long to dethrone me rip apart each bone pick apart this broken brain of mine with each triggered nerve i scream it’s okay putrid false indifference hopeful lies for the barren sober pain
How could you not see? That you were giving them your all While all they deserved, really Was the recklessness with which they treated your soul How could you not see? That you were burning all your candles While they so easily Blew them all out, without the least what if How could you be so oblivious? So blind? Why did you let them treat you like this? Why did you waste all that energy and time? But now you know, Oh so very well It's all clear to you now, You'll never settle for less