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J J Oct 6
Always keep in mind--
You are your own worst enemy to somebody else
Just Grace Sep 18
I felt it then
like I feel it now

There was a dead end sign
at that moment I peered into our future

We tried to give space
Then that choice was taken away
One more chance to prove we can survive
locked down together

So we took my family land
We tilled that soil
Built distractions
Illusions and dreams

The peppers and tomatoes
that I now harvest
I prepare them alone
The nightshades
the itch
now taint my tears
and pink-stain my cheeks
where they have streamed
JJ Inda Sep 4
Suddenly
you cast upon me
doubts and flaws;
not a single virtue
as resentment creeps.
Holly Aug 20
I can still remember
the way it felt
to know the person
meant to protect you
chose not to.

I am afraid
I may never love you
the same way I used to
before I was old enough
to know what
lying really meant.

I still think of home
as a space
I was too scared
to breathe in.

sometimes
I think about
stepping out in front
of a car
and the only thing
that stops me
Is the questions
I know you would ask.

My closet
was the safest place
I felt I had left
to hide in.

It bothers me
you can’t hear
the venom
in my voice
I can’t hold back
from spitting up my throat.

I still wish
you taught me
how to love myself
Instead of
how to fear everyone else.

I still have nightmares
I am convinced I haven’t
woken up from yet.

I am a funeral
you still celebrate
every time I come home.

Some days
I hate you
for the way
you made me
love what hurt me.

There is a part of me
that still believes
I am unlovable.
setting others free by forgiving them means
setting
yourself
free

resentment is really a form of attachment.
I freely forgive everyone
in the course of a day
should a thought of a grievance
or resentment come up
I bless the offender briefly
and dismiss the thought.

the underlying cause of all my troubles has always been fear.

**** fear
**** resentment.
I need a free heart
without burden
to wander and roam the landscape
laughing
ABIL Jul 20
Dreams

Dreams open truly devoted , never conflicted
Another addiction, but this the drugs were prescripted by Cupid
How stupid of me to fall into sleep
To dream what can be a child hood fantasy
To feel love again and not pain
Cause pain brought rain and days of sadness
And madness lying with in my shattered mind
And you couldn't see me crying ,when you said
A.B.I.L: "it's over "
Over and over ,my mind on replay
Sending you texts like please bae
It's mae
Lets put this on delay
And I don't blame you cause you needed to leave
I don't hate you cause you needed to breath
I'm just ****** that you did this to me
Set me free when you had the key
To my heart , I start again and say
I love you
And if I'm a fool so be it
I don't see a better reason
Monique Matheson Oct 2018
Today, I was going to call you
I thought about it all day
I practiced what I would say to you
"hey, hows it going?"
"hi, how are you?"
"you doing okay?"
but none of these questions were about me
I didn't rehearse lines such as
"oh yeah I went to a concert yesterday" or
"been working a lot" or
"I hate you".

Today, I was going to call you
because even though I wouldn't admit it,
I was scared of your anger for not having
jumped as your lap dog after 2 days
1 day
a few hours
I know how you feel about me
I know what you say about me
So today, I was going to call you
but no matter how many times I say
"how high?"
when you ask me to jump
you'll always tell everyone
I'm a terrible kid.

so I'm not ******* calling you today.
Mercy Jul 1
Reminisce.
@niamornimo

I kept wondering why
In such a long time i
Held the memory in
The back of my mind

Pictures to scenes
Perfectly clear while
He took away
My innocence
Bit by bit

I told myself
Time heals but its a decade
Past but instead
Of forgetting becomes
More real
More pronounced.

As i listen to romantic()
Memories floods my mind
Like a broken dam,
Twisting my heart with pain
I guess the many similar
kinds of tenderness
Were also different kinds of sadness.

We've all been forgotten.
The pretty face outshone
The peach blossom
I don't know where the beauty went;
The peach flowers still smile
In spring breeze.
Memories
Pman Jun 4
What is this anger?
Where does it come from?
What is this hate?
A hate towards the people I love
A resentment for things they’re unaware of
I can’t control it
I can’t keep it in
I let my emotions get the better of me
How do I keep it in?
I feel all their problems quickly becoming mine but,
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
I didn’t mean for things to go so far,
For things to get so out of hand
I wasn’t gone for long
And I came back strong
But where did that leave them?
It’s not my fault
I did my best, and do my best
To rectify the mistakes
Mistakes of my own,
And of those I love
But nothing’s happening,
Nothing is changing
Nothing
Is it me? Am I their problem?
What can I do?
Why is it so hard!?
What is this anger?
Faith Tagle Jun 2
I feel like I'm in that cycle again
Where you fill me so much of your love until I'm drunken by it
To make me fall deeply in love with you
And once I do, you step back, you hold back
The confusion game begins

I start to wonder, what have I done wrong?
Am I not enough for you? Or am I too much?
Is there someone else?

When you don't look at me the way you used to,
Who do you look at?
When you don't tell me you love me,
Who do you tell it to?
When you...

I've wondered and often so wondered
These doubts pushed me to hold back just the same
To go back to doing things on my own
To build a wall around me
Higher than me, higher than you

I'd be strong for awhile
But you always had your way of breaking through that wall
Again and again
And then the cycle of the game begins
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