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oUt Of sYNc Jul 17
I was an observant child.
I learned a lot of things growing up.
Things kids are not supposed to witness are tattooed on the back of my mind.
I learned the importance of discipline as fear was used to keep me in line.
I learned that lying is only bad if you get caught and the truth can be bent as far as you'd like to make your stories align.

A lot of my parents' lessons made me learn things like love is earned not given. A cruel truth they taught to a kid who was only seven.
I learned that I do not deserve their love or attention unless I do something, unless I accomplish the things to make me worth their affection.
I was a smart child. I was admired when all I wanted was to be loved.

My parents raised me. Growing up all I wanted was to be like my dad but now I'm worried I see him in my rage whenever I get mad. I learned to throw a punch before i learned how to apologize, I learned how to act strong when all along no one told me it was okay to be weak, I learned how to smile before I learned how to be happy and I learned to shout before I learned how to speak.

I am not a child anymore.
People would commend me throw compliments at my way as if not knowing a candle kills itself faster the brighter it burns.
I open up about the things I learned and they tell me it may be wrong but it made me strong. It made me stronger and it helped me become the artist I am today but I was a child. I did not want to be stronger I needed to be safe.


I learned a lot of things growing up. I learned that sadness felt familiar so I'm relieved when tragedy happens. I sometimes purposely set myself up for failure to at least have a reason to be sad. Self sabotage became my language and boy am I good at speaking. I learned I wanted to **** myself but still learning how to make it easier for the people I love when I'm gone so I slowly make them hate me.

I learned that I am not a good person,
I learned that my parents tried to be. They're still trying.
When you are not fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives and maybe that's why every poem I write hurts me more than it hurts anyone else.
This is raw and there was no planning involved. I guess I just really needed to.say it out loud.
My Dear Poet Jul 7
A thousand kisses couldn’t heal the loss
of a promise given from broken lips
The more the kisses the more the pain
honeyed Jun 15
the more you know me, the easier it'll be to hurt me.
men like to say "i'll never hurt you"
with all the right intentions.
but, i know it's a lie.
you know it's a lie.
you just lied to me, and that makes me dislike you a little bit more.
honeyed Jun 15
i'm sure girls are always throwing themselves at you.
i'm flattered that you like me, but what if you like her better?
what if shes more experienced?
will you resent me for not knowing what to do?
i don't think you will,
but then again,
i don't know you.
Carlo C Gomez May 17
~
Bitter moon

Cold harvest

The fruits of your labor
never to ripen

~
Andrew Rueter Apr 18
I'm a machine-
gun wielding ******-
path of destruction
scorched by hatred
plumes of resentment
billow into the air above me.

Kidnapped
at an early age.
Given straps
and a surly rage.

I have a vicious commander
who wants to get even
so I find it odd
I should call him God
but that's the law.
My arms
an extension of his will.
My mind
an extension of his mouth.

I see my life chiseled in stone before me
it's defined by a maniac's brutal orders.
So in order to avoid misery
I embrace it.
My value is in violence
so I say carpe diem
and RPG them.

I mitigate my murderous misery
through ****** and methamphetamines.
Saccharine civilians deal with life
through hope and faith.
I resent them
for the life they've lived
for the hope they've maintained.
I wonder if their hope and faith will survive
after being ***** by a child.
It suppresses all sorts of resentment. And beyond all sorts of emotional disorder. A shower of it could revived a death sentenced. The thought of it healed a broken in heart. The spread of it eliminates poverty. True emotion of unconditional love.
Love to mankind.  
#C9_fm
I put you on a pedestal
and now you want to stay on top
of my kindness, patience, affection
Obsessed, you can't stop

I'm out of the picture
and it is a lonely view
Trading efforts for nothing
because nothing is what you do
His4Her is a series of poems with different points of view of fictional people
Spadille Jan 25
Lord, My Lord you have forsaken me
You have rejected my prayers
And laughed at my tribulation

Lord, Lord you saw everything
Yet you sat there and watched
With your wine in the holy grail

Lord, I have lost my faith
You are not benevolent
Those verses spoke lies

In the brink of death it was not you that I saw
But it was rather the devil that comforted me
Yet I was still loooking for you

You have abandoned me, in my isolation I've lost my sanity
Hatred became my dearest friend
Grievance was now my lover.

With this I no longer knew nor understood my self
I was now torn between praying or dying
Would I go back to your arms? Or continue my resentment towards you?
Lost faith that needed to be found
Kristin Jan 21
Don't burn a bridge
What if it hurts more than a smidge?

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water
Don't understand why you act like such a rotter...

Don't throw away ***** water looking for clean
Why were you so mean?

The grass isn't greener on the other side
Why do you keep wounding my pride?

Just forgive and forget, move on
I still feel like a pawn

Time heals all ills
Your words still give me the chills

Silence is golden
When will I no longer feel beholden?

So many empty phrases, trite words
Do not perfume over these turds
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