Megan Oct 7

Stone days. Her and I, the infinite
majesty of space, of colour, of
kissing someone else in a club somewhere else,
of thinking that I haven’t changed much,
of thinking of learning and growing and how
I’m not doing any of that.

Wanting her, wanting to wear
her shirts, kiss her lips, make her
feel something in time with myself; wanting closure and
a never-ending romance and
hopeful chastity that neither of us can abide by.

Hot venom; caught between her knife and my recklessness,
holding onto her hope like it’s my own heart in my own hands,
Christmas presents, lazy nights, telling her that I’m
a romantic without the romance.

Rosé wine in a mug and videos on a laptop
should be getting me ready on my own,
nights with people I’ve just met
loving optimism like positivity is the ruling factor of life
without her. Overly positive me and aesthetically negative her.

Giving myself the time I would give to her,
but not the love; storing the love in a little
box, waiting for the right Christmas Day to open it up and say “here,
I got this for you, we didn’t agree on a budget so I just gave you everything I have.”

Motorways and thinking drunk thoughts,
space and atoms and closing everything between us until there’s nothing left,
bare naked and red faced and choruses of “I love you in all the wrong ways”
a run-on confession, minus the church, minus the
god, only the leaving and the confusion and the in-betweenness,
and the infinite intimacy of sleeping alone.

Aishah Oct 5

may all the negativity
flows out through
the cracks and punctured holes
of my soul

This act as a reminder for me and all the people reading this. I wrote this from the lowest point of my life when I was filled with so many negativity, it was draining me out. I needed something to be a better person everyday and this was it.

No confidence
No hope
No "Faith in the System".
Anticipating
Catastrophe.
But I'm completely sober,
Restoring my health,
And I'm still here
As others leave the Scene.

Julie C Smith Aug 11

It's like every negativity against me is turned into the want of being even more understanding and loving towards You, to be good for You

Maybe I wasn't good enough...
Inspired by a song.

Take refuge in the Darkness, my dear child
Because you're never gonna'
Shine in the Light.
The Light is a place
Of comparison with others,
And you're always gonna'
Fail the test.
Sure,
In comparison where you were,
You're infinitely safer and healthier,
But no one can perceive
The dungeon,
Which was once your residence.
They continue to  compare you to their Ideal
Of the way they think
People ought to be.

In my mind there is a voice that likes to play a game
It's quite like me but not quite the same

Every day we play tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for

When it's winning I feel completely wrong
Like a singer without a song

It starts to provide explanations
And I start to feel degredation

It seems to know why I'm hopeless
And why I'll always be mired in loneliness

And just like that, the voice becomes my voice
My reality and my only choice

However, sometimes I start to feel strong
I pull, I start winning and am no longer wrong

My love is no longer just superfluous
My flaws no longer mean I'm worthless

They never are of course
It's just that these thoughts are injected daily by force

Not by a negligient mother
Or a bully who just wants someone to bother

But by a voice that just wants to play the same game
A voice with only one aim, to take over my name

And so we continue playing tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for

I just wish this room had a door...

Grimmest Aug 8

"A negative mind is its own self-fulfilling prophecy."

I just get worried when she doesn't message me back
Can't you guys cut me some slack
I only message her sister because she's there with her
It makes sense to do that so something doesn't occur
Something that I can't control because I'm over here
There is something that I fear
That I can't physically be there for Hannah whom I hold so dear
Why do you two feel the need to give me attitude when I am in need?
Don't piss me off or I may just smoke you like some rolled up weed.
I considered you two my closest friends on GTA
But now you've pissed me off oh so royally,  okay.
So you guys better apologize soon or feel my fury
I'll be here waiting gamertag/ real name: DaddyKiller and Holly.

So apparently Holly is annoyed with me because everytime Hannah doesn't respond to me I message Holly asking what's wrong with her and that annoys Holly according to her boyfriend DaddyKiller and he was getting annoyed too. Here's his exact words when I said I don't know what I did it said to make Holly pissed at me: Cuz you askin about ur gf u can't find out urself
Cuz u keep askin us bout ur gf
So naturally I put on the sorrowful facade and apologized but as you can tell from my poem I'm fucking pissed.
Merida Jul 20

Have you ever wondered if there are really voices inside us?
That pushes us
Pestering us
Keeps us believes
That they are true
Lies that seems to be truth
And mostly
Thoughts that is little by little
Ruining us.

I closed my eyes
And voices start to speak
They're talking to me
But I'm answering them
I don't know what is this drive
That makes me dive
Deeper than abyss
And blurry than darkness
Voices that make me follow
Even when I don't know
Cold voices
Bold voices
Millions echoing
But only one origin
I wonder
Not far yonder
Will these voices remain even when I'm gone?
Or
Will vanish when every thought is done?
I asked myself
Am I not normal?
Why are they keep talking?
It's just you who think
Something bigger
And something deeper
The voice answered
And added
It's all in the mind
It will vanish if you don't mind
Don't sink
Just think.

Subjectivity of the eyes,
Transverse the sea,
To see the world's vice,
Drowning in a sea of lies,
We dream of locks and keys.

Keep to yourself and lie -
- down on roses of red and white,
With scents and fragrance,
So alluring, sweet, and suffocating.
Of roses so white become red,
From wounds of the past -
Opened...

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