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Vaniexe Kafka Jan 2022
i want to love myself
but i don't know how
drifting in and out
     between the reality and my delusions
trying to search for that vigor
that will to be alive—
to be excited of the sunrise
and feel calm
     soaking under the afternoon sun
and love the changing hues
     of the skies at dusk
and wish the moon a good night
     never fearing the dreams to come
then adore the peeking light at dawn
     reflecting the days waiting to be lived

but then it's gone
all that's left was a monotonous black
accompanied by a crippling silence
followed by the surge of doubts
     storming down my confidence
     its lightning striking
as i look into the mirror
     staring at my silhouette
     with its pieces shattering one by one
just as how, piece by piece
     i slipped into the pit
freefalling
and finally losing
     the will i tried so hard to keep
leaving me with nothing
but a void
i wrote this when i felt really really down, somehow it helped me release all that negativity within. i think i am better now. will be dumping my poems because it's been a while since i've posted
SiouxF Jul 2022
I wonder if I suppress my positivity
And subdue my better nature,
For it is my penance,
My cross to bear,
My guilt exposed,
For sins laid bare
This year was supposed to be better
It was to be the year I got my life back together
Last year was incredibly horrible
This year I was hopeful
It was a mistake to feel that way
My accident left me feeling such dismay
Leaving me with such hatred towards the drunk driver that could've ended my life
He almost took away my chance to find a wife
It's been 6 months since the crash
I'm drowning in so much debt; I need some freaking cash
My brother wants me out by next year
Tbh it makes me wish I never moved here.
It's been 3 years and I never experienced a year of happiness
Everything I've been through built up so much stress
All this stress adds to my depression and makes me prone to suicidal thoughts.
Lately I've been thinking about what it feels like to die
Will I feel anything, will anybody even cry?
Does anybody truly care about me?
Or am I just an empty soul internally.
This is how this year has got me in my feelings
Just a lot of things that's been on my mind lately
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
Oh, why must this be!
In this pretend society,
it proceeds to drown me in
insecurities, frustration, envy.

We are our very own droplets of the universe,
each person with uncharted galaxies
that not all people can descry

Most of us are prone to ire,
a single remark
can spark a fire

Fearing to be seen as imperfect,
we change the pure essence
of ourselves,
that very
moment

Do I even know me?

I started to think
if there was even a calm
before the storm,
our minds frantic,
and
I'm concerned
.
.
Life is a dance, never-ending!
A game of musical chairs,
with a sole chair for all of we

Unaware about the
hundreds of seats
surrounding it;

All this negativity
just because of a flaw
within
me
.
.
.
you,
and
everybody.
𝘙𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘻𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰
—played with a sudden increase of force.
—used as a direction in music usually for special emphasis of a note, chord, or short phrase.
—abbreviation rf or rfz.

-Br.
__

a little lonely...
Arlen R Apr 2021
If like repels like
Why has my negativity
Opened the door
To yours
Norman Crane Apr 2021
someone once said,
a negative mind will never give you a positive life,
but that is itself a negative thought,
which must be the product of a negative mind,
if it is true, it's false,
and if it is false, it's true,
but what identifies a princess is not a tiara but a shoe,
or, positively said,
a negative mind will give you a positive life,
for to live uncritically
is indistinguishable from being dead
Purcy Flaherty Apr 2021
Media moguls
(The big six)

Media moguls, farming us like baboons, leaving just a flicker of our human potential; enough to consume.

A bitter machine, manufacturing and selling the illusion of fear and failure; ******* with our subconscious, spinning and expanding this dark material world; for nothing more than prestige and false profits.

There is more to life than this!
Wake up Space monkeys!
A constant stream of negativity, greed and desire.
Simon Mar 2021
Patience isn't truly the walk of life. Or even the shame for not convincing yourself that everything up until this very point in time...is how it is supposedly meant to be.
But this is the first example towards not telling yourself the truth about the very illusion you've been living this entire time.

...It's called the decline in acceptance to oneself...for not telling yourself you have more in your general self-worth...then what kind of self-contempt you've been blocking away in hopes of accepting your very own disillusioned artificially created...self-resolve.

That being said, the actual chances that you have been living your own life (free of charge) from feeling you have defeated the such negativity in your very lifestyle... Is nothing more than a shower of benign social ramblings (from within yourself) that will sentence you too a psychological error in your very reasoning for illogical decision-making.

Which means, in the very end, choices don't matter in the long run.
Since you already know what you want... Even if reality (outside your very self), isn't what is truly best for you (especially when it wouldn't agree with your very options) first and foremost.
The very basics of life is the turning point for disaster! If or if not, you have already made a good enough paid sentence (full of such processing power) that demands reconciliation on the spot (for how you have evaluated your very life up until this very point in time). Then your fruitful for misguided tendencies. Or even better... Misinformed logic that doesn't sell itself short in the slightest.
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