Noah 1d
a  joke that was fine two hours ago
a joke that's been fine 100 times before
a joke that's usually hysterical

silence and doubt
unable to reciprocate a simple
"goodnight i love you"

you feel guilty
i feel guilty for making you feel guilty and you feel
and it doesn't end

kai warned me that it would be hard
if only i had known
that he knew why
ash please don't confront me about this one - i'm not okay but there's nothing you can do.
Jay 2d
Draw me a circle
Draw me a beautiful circle
Make it any size
Make it perfect

It can’t have bumps
It can’t have wiggles
Make it any size
Make it perfect

Use your own special compass
Use your own special parchment
Make it any size
Make it perfect

Keep retracing the circle
Keep retracing the feeling
Keep retracing the steps you took

Draw me a beautiful circle
Draw me a scarlet circle
Make it any size
Make it perfect
Keep retracing the skin until you find
What you’re looking for
I wrote this about a week ago, on self harm. One of my really high achieving, perfectionist friends told me a story of how they would use the compass they had gotten in geometry class to doodle on themselves, and the pain would help them feel less anxious. It got me thinking and I suppose this is what I ended up with
Sam 7d
Her finger met the trigger
Squeezing it with ease
Sorrow was the bullet
Shot straight through her heart
Shattering it to pieces
The exit wound clear to see
That same bullet punctured me
Bleeding out regrets
Giving what I have to give
So she can live once more
So she can dream again
I give her every piece of me
To show her it's worth living
But in the end, I can't pretend
My breathing ever fleeting
Catastrophe Jul 10
“I am alone but I am not lonely” is what I say to myself. I have thoughts,  words, memories screaming through my body, keeping me busy, tormenting me. Blood drips into the bathwater I substitute for human touch. I can see my pain now, I have a reason to cry, but my bathwater chills and ideas of someone holding me die and I’m alone again, but not lonely. I have dishes to do and I remember doing them with her, and her memory keeps me company. The dishwater chills as I take my time, stretching the moment. Any longer and my hands would numb like my heart. I am alone again, but not lonely. I have a bed to crawl into and a pillow to hold like I once held somebody. I have her kiss imprinted on my memory and I let that lull me to sleep. I am alone and maybe I am lonely.
It was an experiment I did
but not until I woke to it.
Smile, smile, all the time,
walk? more like a divine stride.
Smile, smile, all the time,
walk? more like flight.
Then I felt a funny thing
but not until I woke to it.

You can smile for the world
all you want, but if they,
don't like your face,
the Hallmark, "Share the love,"
doesn't mean much,
does it?

Oh, yes! I can see
the Happy Days ahead.

Tell me, tell me, all the time,
walk? catch optimism's ride.
Tell me, tell me, all the time,
the ride is more like flight.
Freedom through
and through.

What if this one sided freedom
for me clasps my wrists like chains?

Smile, converse, be true and kind,
you'll receive the love you give.

Right. Right.

Must be nice to be acceptable and

Right. Right.

The more I smile, the more I'm met with malaise,
so when you say,
"I feel sorry for you,"
I feel sorry for you, too.
This is
the game of
Russian Roulette
Will people like my poem?
Every unloved attempt is a bullet.
You, the reader, are the finger pressing the trigger.
Unfortunately dropping onto my knees and begging
would be aggravating and desperate.
I must learn to accept the lead
the revolver will place
inside my
Will you fire the gun today?
Or will you hold back?
It's up to you.
Blake Jun 26
Oh do not look at me like that.
Although I pulled the trigger you loaded the gun a long time ago.

Oh do not complain that my loose canons of speech are finally repulsively soaring.
When you gave me a deadly spark.

If you do not blame,
Then I promise I won’t too,
The collateral damage of two wishful hearts needs no ownership.

So stop trying to win a forgotten war,
What’s done is done.
No more friendly fire.
Parker Poole Jun 22
i haven't been able to sleep quite right
the nightmares are keeping me up at night
12 years ago, i was molested
4 years ago, i was raped
a year ago, i was raped by someone different
i've been asked why i've been putting myself in these situations
i protest, always
"i'm not! i swear!"
but as i hear their words, telling me it's all my fault
i come to the realization that
maybe it is
maybe its the way i dress, or the way i trusted too easily
i'm trying to keep strong
but i've been making a mess of the bed each night
i try to remember i'm loved as my lover holds me tight
but all i can remember is his rough hands shoving my body down
closing my eyes and trying not to let myself drown
all i can remember is my own flesh and blood
telling me to do things no five year old should
and i've been having trouble sleeping in my own bed
and i wanna tell someone but i put it all on paper instead
Geanna Jun 19
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
As much as it takes, I must do more
5 cuts
Oh my, it'll be too late
9 cuts
10 cuts
11 cuts
It's an addiction now, oh well
~ G.P.O
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