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Joe Workman May 27
I'm stripped to bones,
so take them and
hide them from me
so I can never stand again.
I don't deserve to.

Time and temper flow over me
and I'm completely under.
No joy here, no peace to breathe
and I can't help but wonder
how it would be if I could try.

Years have vanished
since I was me
and worth knowing.
Now I'm fear and I'm misery,
worthy only of dismissal.

So take my bones,
crush and powder them,
and throw them far -
let the whimsy of water win.
I can find my way without them.
Estelline May 26
Might as well drag me through the mud
Or pull a hit and run
It’s how you treat me mentally
Like I’m just a ghost
It hurts more than you know
I should of never gotten close
Then I wouldn’t of gotten hurt
Kelsey May 21
When I feel
Inadequate
I get the urge to
Cut
Like slicing my
Arm
Would make me
Worthy
Would make me
Enough
As if
Devouring
My flesh would
Prove
That I am as they
Say
I am
Not good
Enough
Not good
Enough.
No.
I'm
More
Than
Enough.
My new mamager always tells me everything im doing wrong. Never gives me the credit for taking on the job of 3 staff members. I cant keep giving if the taker is never satisfied.
That one wilting rose in a blooming batch
That one wrong stroke in a masterpiece
That one broken pixel in your screen
That one sour grape in a bunch of sweet ones
That one useless child
That useless child, with no worth to this family
~19/5/21
Nomkhumbulwa Apr 11
Words mumbled,
If any at all.
Staring at nothing,
If anything at all

Sunken red eyes,
Unable to focus,
Slumped over the chair,
**** pungent in the air

I hardly see you
We hardly speak
And when I try
You’re too tired to speak

You sit on the street
Drinking with friends
I’ve no problem with that
If only I could see you at weekends

I know you work hard
You deserve the rest too
For me it’s chocolate
Cannabis for you

But you’re one of many
Nearly all my friends smoke
Yet we still communicate
We can laugh, we can joke

They can still see me,
They notice me here
No matter the ****,
No matter the beer

But do you see me?
Am I just in the way?
I feel so alone
Even when you’re here all day

No communication
No conversation
Staring and smoking
Then blanket over the head sleeping

You awake snorting loudly
Giving me a fright
It doesn’t seem to bother you
In the middle of the night

I’m not really here
It’s like I’m a ghost
You look straight through me
Then go for a smoke

The body is limp
The mind unfocused
Hardly able to smile
Ignore what I suggest

I cannot change you
I get it, it’s you
You are inseparable
**** is number one for you

It’s not up for discussion
Should I ask you smoke less
It is just so insulting
To try change someone else

Just to cut down
One less joint a day,
I might see the person
Hidden by the smoke and haze

Is it my fault?
Am I making you like this?
I sincerely hope not
For us both it’s a loss

Do you still know me?
When can we talk?
Or enjoy time together
Just in the park

Or is this just it?
How it has to be
Is this how we live?
Us who don’t smoke ****

I live with a shell
An empty smoke filled case
Not interested in me
I can tell by the long drawn face

Is there anything inside?
Are you there at all?
How much longer do I wait?
What am I waiting for?

Do you still know me?
Or am I just a “thing “
I cannot stop your ****
That would be classed as a sin

Everything I ask
Is repeated ten times
Over and over and over
You still cannot take it in

Is this how we live?
If living is what this is
Or am I being too sensitive ?
About how you seem to live with your friends

But they are watching tv
I think you are too
Only to discover at 2am
You’re sleeping, passed out in the studio

It is clear to me now
That I matter the least
You have to please your friends
Even as I cook and you eat

Why do I want communication?
Is it a failure in me?
I just feel like there’s nothing
It’s even a chore for you to make me a tea

I mention the idea
Of spending time together
But it’s taken as an insult
Depriving you of your friends, together

We do our own things
That’s healthy I know
But to spend time together
It’s a chore, so much effort, I know

This is the end,
The relationship passed
Stuck here without you
While the **** takes all of you

You live for the ****
I know that is true,
If you had to choose between us
The **** would win, it’s true

It consumes your life
I guess that’s how it is
But is this it for me?
Do I marry someone who doesn’t see me?

I do get confused
As you expect me at night
After ignoring me all day,
How will I do things at night?

Surely for such intimacy
A relationship comes first
Or perhaps it’s just me,
Wanting what I don’t deserve

You’re not here Tsietsi
You make noises, not talk
The words make no sense
I might as well speak to a wall

I’m not trying to be cruel
I’m not anti ****
The last thing I want to do is control,
To take away what people need

But I’m confused and tired
Yet I’m never enough
I try to cook, grow veggies,
It’s still, still not enough

The relationship to you has meaning
Very different to that of mine
Washing the dishes, removing weeds,
Is the level of connection we enjoy

Is that enough for you?
That I’m just here to cook?
To sit silently, without you
Not trying to talk

Is this how it’s meant to be?
A life without you, only me?
A woman is to marry
But a woman is not to see

Or perhaps it’s just me?
Should I smoke **** too?
Am I mistaken?
We don’t need communication?

I say goodbye, not leaving,
I just know you’re no longer here,
I will carry on
While you keep the **** and beer

Goodbye Tsietsi.....,,, let me know when you wake up **
Apologies I’m new
Madam X Mar 27
I’m sorry I’m to sad to love you the way u need to be loved okay.
And that every time you try with me, I seem to just push you away

I’m sorry that my hearts too broken to make you smile
And that you haven’t heard my laugh in a really long while.

I’m sorry I’m stubborn and that I cry way too much
And that being with me is looked down on a bunch

I’m sorry I can’t be skinny or even close to pretty
And that sometimes people describe me as being a little ditzy

I’m sorry I don’t accept the love you send to me
And that I make you feel like you keep me less free

I’m sorry I can’t show you how important you are
And that words have always been something that’s hard.

Im sorry I’m sorry for so many things
And all of the problems my mental health brings.
tia Mar 21
cracking
the lines and curves of the sentences fall apart
screaming
the facade pleads to be rescued from this madness
crying
the entity shakes, and the world trembles along with it

worthless
if you disappeared not a single person would make a remark
unwanted
an unlovable friend, for who wants someone burdened by sadness
pathetic
a stubborn fool, such that even death asks you to submit
Estelline Mar 10
Should I even try to speak
When you don’t hear me
My words don’t “benefit” you
Like your friends do

I want to tell you I’m weak
Like a plant in the storm that bends
I can only bend so far under the pressures

But you would just blow it off
Maybe you can’t take the stress of it all
You don’t want to bear mine
But I think of ur friends
You listen to them…
Maybe I'm forgetting the times
you’ve listened to me rant
Maybe I’m expecting too much from you

But it still hurts when you don’t even look my way…
It’s never perfect
But is it supposed to feel this lonely?

Maybe I’m not good enough
I don’t deserve love
I’ve made mistakes
Piled higher than the mountains
Would you forgive me if I let go?
Because I can’t see the love...
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