there's too many happenings lately;
it almost feels like
a floodgate breaking due to unseen circumstances,
the water gushing out, roaring, filling the silence with its cries.
it's as if everything feels like
an overwhelming amount of an odd concoction
of what seems to be problems,
diluted only by what i can assume is my sanity.
it's as if i'm drowning, my legs pulled deeper and deeper
underwater, everything and nothing all at once,
trying to fill my lungs until I choke;
there's too much of the world that i cannot simply take in.
and yet, look at me;
the feeling of drowning, the feeling of hopelessness
paralyzes me, fear drilling itself into my mind,
as it advances far into numerous possibilities i can only describe as overthinking.
i describe my own anxiety really badly.
but i do feel bad for being paralyzed in bed, because my undiagnosed anxiety and depression has been pretty bad lately.
I get called lazy when I'm paralyzed with my thoughts. I don't even know anymore. I can't even talk to my own friend anymore.