cait-cait Mar 9


so much blood leaked into
my eyes
as you took apart the
pieces in my head.

i don't know when it started:
but i was four, maybe
the first time i remember
you taking a big chunk out of me:

i was sweet, rosy red,
and stuffed in a dress,
and you were black,
a pale shadow in
dark clothing as you grabbed
my legs when i tried to run....

and did again,
every night
from then on out.

i was
seated on a couch each time,
i felt as though
my eye bags
touched the floor
every second and all i really
was for you not to be angry...

i hate that stupid couch.
i lied so many times.

if i could remember everything id ever seen, i would've died a long time ago. i was just a little girl.

You lied, love
In two years I will have known you
For half of my short life
I wanted to spend the rest of it with you
Give you my part of this world
Sleep on your chest
Hold your hand in grocery stores
Take your picture in the afternoon sunlight
Drink coffee with you too late in the evenings
So I could stay up with you all night
You could've picked the colour of our front room
Helped me drip paint all over the floor
I gave myself to you
In the quietest ways
I thought of you to fall asleep
Looked for you when I woke up
I waited endlessly for you to arrive
To come back
For something, anything to show that you hadn't disappeared
I mourned for you
Cried real years at the loss of our imaginary world
I've wished you eight Merry Christmas's
Carried you with me into the New Year
Missed you for more minutes than I've loved you
But for what?
I've got nothing to show
You're starting a new life
And so am I
Me with him
You with her
We could've had it together
You lied, love

A letter to my dearest Jenny, how I do love her so.
Alia Mar 2016

You told me you'll be real,
You told me you're here to heal,

You told me you'll never lie,
You told me the truth is you're mine,
Its a lie.

You told me you'll always be by my side,
You told me not to fear anything, you told me you're with me in this ride,
You lied.

Karina Putri Oct 2016

I have a story
The reason we died
With smile and agony
And no peace can keep us

I thought it was a parade
Amused, then amaze the mind
Fulfill the dreams we had
Enchanted our sleepy eyes
The melody like a spell, so dazzle

It's just a dellusion
They tear the tree of dream
Fading our imagination
Pour our land with beautiful agony

Don't talk!
They don't care cause they don't hear
Don't, don't ever have a hope
Don't ever have a dream, they said

That's why we here
With smile and agony
We died

Mims Oct 2016

"i'll sleep! i promise!"

i lied.

it is currently 2:20 and i am pondering why we exist
Dwalker Sep 2016

So he wanted this
So he thought this was it
So he thought that this was going to be the last
So where is this coming from so how many times has he lied
So how many times has he told me he loved me
So how many times did he actually mean it
So how long is he going to give me the silent treatment
So how many times will he confront my friends instead of me
So what do I do now, I'm so confused.

EG Sep 2016

Remember that guy,
Yea the one who I said made me feel all this love inside;
Well he fucking lied,
He played with my mind,
I should of known after seeing several bad signs;
Never did I ever think he would or could do that to me,
He fucking cheating on me,
He thought I wouldn't see;
I'm too smart to not have found out,
He thought I would believe his words without a doubt?
Thats funny,
"You thought you could pull one over me honey?"
Nah my intuition
is far beyond his cognition;
So I got up the fuck and did better,
To not value me is something I won't except, never;
So fuck his love,
Fuck all those fake hugs;
They mean nothing now,
What he did to me was fucking foul;
I have no losses,
because in this situation I was faultless;
I just hope I'm not having his baby,
Because to have two bitches pregnant now thats crazy;
It's too bad
he lost the best life he could of had;
As for me I'm unbreakable,
And he's now erasable.

Mims Sep 2016

I met this boy, back a few years,
First I didn't care if he disappeared,
He told me, "I'm not really looking for someone to date"
So we stayed just friends,
We claimed we could wait,
But then I jumped right in every night I returned,
He reckoned we weren't really lovers,
It burnt,
I went away for months,
Until our paths crossed again,
He told me "I was just looking for a friend,"
Maybe we could wait,
I said "wait till when"
Baby if you didn't want me then you could've just said,
He saying,
Our love don't lie-
Don't Fuck with my love,
My heart is so,
All on my own,
I already know that,
Our love don't lie,
Don't Fuck with my love,
I told you,
You already knew that,
Our love don't lie,
For a couple weeks,
He says I only wanna see ya,
We talk away the days,
He said I don't wanna leave ya,
Before a Kik message was the only way to reach ya,
Now we're skyping at my place,
And I love the way he treats me,
You were singing, "babe I need ya"
He never wants to sleep I guess I don't want to either,
But me and him we make jokes the same way,
Sarcasm and loving the same day,
But those jokes have never been what it's about,
I'd rather put on a film with ya and cuddle on the couch,
But maybe we'd joke together and just figure it out,
We shoulda talked about plans,
But we were skipping it,
And we had written it down,
The way that things played out,
And you weren't missing me,
How? I was confused about,
He shoulda figured out,
While I'm sat here singing,
Our love don't lie-
Don't Fuck with my love,
My heart is so cold,
All on my own,
I already know that,
Our love don't lie,
I told him he knows,
He already knows that,
Our  love,

I don't really like it...                                                  Next time you listen to it keep me in mind.
The Lonely Bard Sep 2016

What lied within your lips,
I could not read it.
What lied within your hips,
I could never treat it.
What lied within your love,
I could not sense it.
What lied within your eyes,
I could never see it.
What lied within your heart,
I could not beat it.

My HP Poem #1138
©Atul Kaushal
Raquel Butler Jul 2016

I lied, he actually meant everything to me.
I lied because I was afraid of what he'd do to me.
I lied and now my stomach is in knots,
my heart only beats.
I lied for the sake of safety, but this safety feels like hell.
I lied and now I can barely get out bed.
I lied and everything feels different.
I lied because it was easy.
I lied and now I can't even remember why I lied.
I lied and now my body is just bones.
I lied to spare myself, but I wish I hadn't.
I lied to myself, and now I'm numb.
I lied, uneasy and in love.
I lied, how foolish.
I lied, how dumb.

yo this is an old poem that I just found and thought i'd post... for the most part I am over what happened in this piece.
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