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Have you ever seen the bottom?
Have you ever made it that far?

My eyes have seen everything
It’s always the same
Wake up it’s a new day
Splash some water on my face

I can already hear it calling
It’s waiting for me

I tried to save myself
But there ain’t no use in that
The world has changed me
And I will stay in this state until it is gone

You can never go back
You can never return
Never tell yourself
Look at what I’ve learned?

Never say the things that you been meaning to say
Never repay the debts that were never repaid

I am sick of all these day dreams
They’re killing me
I have something hiding
Behind my teary eyes
My tongue is twisted
From speaking all these lies
My head is now shining
From loosing all my grey
And I can’t seem to shake
The nakedness of the day

My head is aching
for a peace of mind
My hands grow weary
For the answer they’ll never find
ArcherGirl Sep 30
War, pain, heartbreak, corruption, rejection, injustice...
How could life be a gift?
What's the point of it?
I wish I had, the courage to end it.
I was so consumed and overwhelmed by this I found myself in a prison called Hopelessness.

Depression, Suicide, Unforgiveness, Fear, Self-hate were just some of my inmates.
Then there were Anger, Jealousy and Anxiety.
I'd like to say we held eachother's back but they beat the crap out of me.
I kept losing all these wars within me, now you know why, I've got all these marks on my body.

But still nobody was able to make me free. NOBODY.

Until one day in my defeat Jesus Christ entered the compound wearing a thorny crown, His body; all blo*dy, broken and beaten down. Suddenly,
Puff! My ears were opened to the sweetest sound and out of my tongue rolled this good old song, "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me...my chains are gone..."
There my Saviour was holding a cross engraved LIBERTY.

For true is the saying "Who the Son of Man makes free is free indeed."
Grace Sep 2
This mind, you'll find, has been long abandoned
by the calming solace of discretion

Perfection. Pure and simple. Perfection
My mind is crippled by your wants
and yet, it yearns for nothing more

I hate myself for what I seek...
and that is you, perfection
You cunning angel of deceit

And while I weep for what I can't achieve
I see you taunting me, oh my sweet perfection
The weight of all I’ve been carrying is crushing me
stones I’ve put on my own chest
mortared into place with the dross
of lies and failures and regret
pebbles in my shoes
sand in my lungs

Is my struggle my strength?

When I put those stones down
when I go barefoot and no longer wheeze
will I be strong enough to face what comes next?

Or will my no longer blockaded quarry heart wither in the light?
2020 needs to just be over already.
I was wondering if there would be a chance you would contact me and talk about what had happened to us, that maybe we could see each other and maybe by then I’ll have what I need-closure. Maybe by that, I could find acceptance and finally say that this is the reality and I have to face it. But I know it won’t happen. I know you, you should have done it earlier, at least?

I’m still waiting for your message. I’m still holding on maybe we could work this time again or maybe we could sort this out but I know that the more I try to connect with you, the more painful it could be since you already cut me off from your life and I don’t want to become selfish to your decision. To be honest, everything is still not clear to me. Maybe because I didn’t get the answers I deserve, that I still lack your explanations to the point I’m wanting to see you so we could settle this out, and maybe by that I could finally have the courage to say my last goodbye. I’m wanting to see you- to make sure you’re okay, to hug you for one last time, and to tell you I’m thankful for everything.

Maybe we could see each other again, for the last time. And maybe by that, I would finally feel the freedom and assurance that it’s over.
Dark* shadows
Invade 
I didn't invite you
You invited you
I wish to be alone
My  emotions belong here
Beside me.
You see
They are me.
They run cold
Vibes
Deep
Embedded
The pain reacts to poison
Leaving unsovled
Matters
I  wish not to lie on a bed of self-pity
But my head is mash
Its confused.
Utterly
Disillusioned.
(Alone)
And sad.
Isaac Ward Aug 14
At the toll of the bell,
After Heaven and Hell,
When our satellites fell,
Did we fare so well?

When the oceans have choked,
Fraught with plastic and smoke,
The halcyon barriers broke,
And the Old Ones awoke.

Now we are so few,
Scattered fro-and-to,
Like Babel anew,
What are left to do?

The sun has grown cold,
Withered stories untold,
Our hearts had been sold,
For failures and fool's gold.

So pray for calmer weather,
Now and forever,
But this life won't get better,
This is my final letter.
A boy sits alone
cornered by the conflict
darkness pervades the room
silence cradles his crying

A mother sits alone
in the corners of her mind
darkness pervades her life
silence cradles her crying

Together they sit alone
in silence
waiting for the light to pervade
their darkness
7/28/20
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