Were you to ask it
query it
seek it
the answer to my heart
is there shade on the eve of love
indeed, there is
a shade like mountain's umbra
a gloom cast from the deep
a shadow that cloisters
clutches
croons in one's ear
sorrow of the like one wishes experience only once
if at all

There is a time to be glad,
but not on this eve
today, we experience love's eclipse
a respite from charm and wonder
a delay of inevitable passion
a somber
slow
seething
slump
into a chasm of finite eternity
where seconds last years
and moments are lifetimes
but not cherished times
not a calm before the storm
it is despair before victory
the long sigh of anticipation
as one is disemboweled
waiting for death's promise
a metaphorical death of
all our hopes and dreams
as the queen of night
suffocates our sun on high
we dream a waking nightmare
but know
it only lasts the night

And suddenly
like the snapping of a finger
it appears
not sound
but light
a pinprick
and
though small
it envelopes one's whole mind
a shard of light
like a rope of hope
penetrating your soul
you know it
the eclipse draws to an end

A sliver of its radiant face
the sun peeks round the corner of doom
smiling wanly at first
but as the eclipse abates
you know the warmth
the curling of fingers around fingers
eyes connected
you see them
as if having waited centuries to see them, despite it being first sight
embracing, you are taken adrift
into a flight so free that wings are an inconvenience
arm in arm with your lover
you cascade out into reality
up and down and down and up
the eclipse is no more
love is free
a breeze so firm and sweet that
your lungs feel brand new
your chest swells with pride
you're found
and you have found
together,
you and your lover,
ascend heaven's heights
and dream of eclipses no more

Bound in freedom
free in mind and soul
hearts as one
under the sun
despair
no longer takes its toll...

Tasting the cold rain
of her lullaby dreamscape
I floated through
her open streets
like open veins
where we carried out
our transfusion of love
such was
the umbilical cord of trust between us
such was
a long night's passions
not a drop wasted
she swallowed
the waters that were spilt in open corridors
rivers wide and winter white
ever fluid as they wound their way
into her dreamscape
spinning webs of reality from potential
and on nights
like this
I dream of who would have become if she loved me
but she dared not
and the cobwebs never spooled again
never cast their wide net
out into the hungry world
where babes go to die and ne'er do wells
eat breakfasts with smiles
I waited for her
and she never came
it was then I knew the brutal cruelty of the world
how
promises age
like foul eggs
wherein one thinks oneself soon to be fed
cracks open the vault of life
and goes mad
from the sight of the bitter truth
that all men die of heartache
long before their bodies give out
long before they never heard "I love you"
from tongues not forked
and lips not peppered
with the winter wonders
of myriad men
to whom love was also promised
and never made manifest

Decades of lifeless cold
follow a brief summer
The stage at the end,
practically a walk of shame
Many eyes turn away,
a few painfully blank
A mere shell of a former person,
Deformed by sins and their blame

It's such a miserable thing,
he can't be saved anymore.
He's been swallowed heart and mind
Into the valley of hurt and despair
Alas, just numbing the pain
doesn't make a person whole
He might as well be a sinner now
How do you even wash away stains from a soul?

as it were
i  b r  e    a      k
full of wasted grace
making the dry dust
that remains
my instrument
wildly
writing all the wrongs
new lyrics
for an old song
time lost
to an arcane rhythm
m      a  d
from the absurdity
of this life
that I suffer
in verse

through crescendo


and endless



fermata

Tear the layer of this sheath
where he ran through his mitt
her hands strayed and pinched
that it was grazed in too deep

Lift it from my face
he had whispered, shushed my name
in where she touched on and snick
and my innocence was raid

Let it burn to flames
in the branch of hopelessness
I was in agony
to crawl off of my veins

If you ever saw me in green
then it was purple in my range
it was yellow on my smell
but screamed red in the end.

a dragonfly
set me off

i realized
i didn’t hear insects
didn’t see birds

just felt
the sun
searing
scorching
parching
the earth
dissecting
my body
sapping away
my will to live

i’ve become anxious
depressed
lethargic
despondent  

i don’t understand why
now I realized
i’m afraid
of what’s about to come
Earth is dying

life will never be the same
normality has gone
this is the day
God died

I can barely remember the last time I felt seen by a man.
Truly seen for what I was.
Passed the partying.
Passed the thirst traps.
Passed my naked body.

I carry a depth you can't see from the surface.
I carry pain you can never quite grasp.
I carry emotions with such passion,
Love is one to name.
I carry many parts of me hidden behind a self-constructed ivory tower.
But you saw it.

Briefly.

I had never felt so exposed,
But I reveled in it.
You were everything I thought I would never find,
But you were never mine.
Just a glimmer of hope.

It's been a while since Love came to call,
O, to hear its footsteps just once more!
So I've asked the moon to shine brighter
On the pathway leading to my door

But the moon told me Love needs no light --
Down the darkest paths it finds its way,
For Love itself is the light that guides
Wandering feet that at times tend to stray

O, sagacious moon, you've earned your crown!
Guardian of the melancholy hour;
Can you tell me why Love hesitates
To unchain me from this lonely tower?  

Has my heart been deemed an unfit host?
Absurd! Warmth and tenderness abound!
Chambers exude tolerance and peace . . .
Where might a more perfect nest be found?

An old weeping willow keeps its watch,
Straining to hear Love's knock at my door;
And it weeps with me throughout the day --
But when night falls, I cry so much more

No birds violate the evening's calm --
They've no reason to burst forth in song;
Filled with pity, they hear my laments,
Chiding Love for tarrying too long

I draw comfort now from memories,
Memories that time cannot erase;
But Hope's candle flaunts a radiant flame,
Just in case Love's listening  . . .  just in case