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There is nothing but darkness here
And rot that fills the air,
Every day I cross murals of my yesterday
And memories I cannot bear,
Dwindling and shattering asking
To why I'm so fragile.
Fragile
I've lived inside a broken shell,
Cracked and leaking
spilling on those who come too close,
I always run away
But no matter how far I go
I cannot escape my fate.
Fate
That binds me to this self-loath
Where flies are my only friends,
This stench that I cannot endure
But now I know too well,
A slave to my misery
A king of this empty hell.
Hell
To offer up my life to the noose
that hangs around my neck,
never tight enough to end this
But with every breath I clench
Reminds me of my worthlessness.
Worthlessness
A burden to my own mind
A wall to my questions of being
Hollow yet overflowing
I've seen enough to know
This tunnel has no end in sight
The light has failed to reach what’s inside.
The Myth of Sisyphus was a heavy read, and I am not recovering from it.
Hunter Dec 2023
It commenced not in the ordinary,
No, it carried a profound yearning,
A yearning to be cherished, not reviled,
To be esteemed, not deemed average,
To experience something, not nothing.

Gradually, it evolved beyond that,
Becoming my sole wellspring of joy,
Aware of the inherent imbalance,
Yet, akin to all my remorseful attachments,
I found myself unable to let go.

Indeed,
The concept of letting go eluded me,
A foreign notion, seemingly distant,
Yet, akin to the frigid days of February,
I understood it would conclude someday,
Nonetheless, I persisted,
Holding on tenaciously.

As the days stretched out,
Snow gave way to melting streams,
Blooms emerged from their wintry cocoon,
And akin to the scorching heat of summer,
My affection blazed brighter than stars.

Picture winning a grand lottery,
That's how it felt,
A sensation of prevailing in life,
The notion of letting go never occurred,
It seemed unnecessary.

Then came September,
A month I abhor with fervor,
When everything crumbled beneath,
Love waned,
Evaporating like recollections of better days,
And the embers of letting go flickered anew.

Fear settled in,
Reluctant to relinquish,
I convinced myself it would mend,
For I acknowledged,
I couldn't let go.

Fourteen,
Fourteen,
Fourteen,
Etched clearly in my consciousness,
That's the date it unfolded,
The day I dreaded,
The day I was compelled to let go.

Anticipated as it was,
Those phrases,
"This isn't healthy,"
"It's irreparable,"
"I'm sorry,"
Tore me asunder.

Here I am,
Penning this poem,
Still in pain,
Still shattered,
Rife with remorse.

Such is life,
A journey void of utopian conclusions,
A cycle that persists,
Until the day we depart,
Until the day we dissolve,
Until the day we finally let go."
B Nov 2023
Your mom still calls me pretty
even though I pretend you don't exist.
I know I've loved you forever
built a house and a bed out of sticks
then burned it all down
like a candle to the wick.
Look at you with such admiration
and I start to feel sick.
Sealed by doom, in 2017
healed by your lips.
Seeking out a brand new lover -
it's you that I miss.
Made out of nerves like second hand china,
always shattered like this.

I hope you'll choose me
repair me, take me to your place
know this rejection is something
I must finally meet face to face.
Calling on your landline, late and weary
it's like screaming into space.
Drove around in a circle
because you always know what's right
with the windows down, I'm blinded
your smile so unbelievably white
and I wish I could stop feeling
like I'm such an ugly sight
maybe then you'd want me
and I'd have less to write.
George Krokos Nov 2023
You and I will most likely be gone as there'll be hardly anyone else around
without a building left standing, to be seen, anywhere near on the ground.
There'll be chaos and destruction wherever one may happen to look about
with the screams of women and children heard from afar in pain no doubt.
The voices of men crying together with words mumbled in resignation
addressed to a deity that had been forsaken long ago in condemnation.
Days of the future foretold now are passing under cover of a blackened sky
with the smell of smoke and ashes slowly rising from the ground to pry.
The earth as it has been known in people's memories now exists no more
and former things of beauty loved been shattered to pieces on the shore.
Hopelessness and helplessness are words to express the current situation
with no effort on anyone's part to make amends in a general desperation.
The howling of many dogs and other creatures can also be heard as well
with the sound of rolling thunder fading in the distance is a story to tell.
Flashes of lightning seen in the clouds above add a surreal touch to be
made out or viewed like it's doomsday come at last for those left to see.
With the earth itself trembling from all the current devastation around
there's no one to speak words of comfort to subdue the noise profound.
Like a worst case scenario the images will be etched in the hearts 'n minds
of all those who've remained alive, in one piece, the way that true guilt binds.
__________
Written in Dec'22. I once read a similar poem by a female poet many years ago on another website to which I commented saying it was too negative and pessimistic but these days views expressed on such topics are becoming more commonplace even with me trying to imagine what may never happen. Or is it happening now? Hmm...............
George Krokos Oct 2023
What could've been never really was
but all of our hopes weren't quashed.
_____
From 'Simple Observations' - S.O.#476, ongoing writings since the early '90's.
JA Perkins Oct 2023
You might see him walking
where the cold wind blows,
a troubled ol' boy
that no one knows..
He'll stumble through
a small, quiet town
talking under his breath
and looking down
Where he comes from
and where he goes,
I guess, depends where
the cold wind blows.

He leaves no footprint,
No hellos or goodbyes
with nary a hint of life
inside his empty, pale eyes
No one calls his name
but the crickets and crows
and the whispering pines
where the cold wind blows.

I hear tell of a time
before the cold winds blew
when that troubled ol' boy
knew all that he knew
He had a light in his eyes
and purpose in his step
with words well spoken
and his place well kept.
But we reap what we reap
from the seeds that we sow
Perhaps he's bound to roam
where the cold winds blow.
A path he knows
but never quite chose
Joshua Phelps Aug 2023
Void in a world
Where everyone is
At their own throats

Tearing each other
Apart, visualizing

That
They're the only
One that's suffered

And you're the
One crying

In a twist, they
Twist and take
The knife

And stab
Themselves
Right back

They just want
To see who
Can bleed more

And see
If you come
Running back

With your
Heart

Bruised and
Under attack

You try to lift
yourself up

But you forgot
How to feel

And you've reached
critical mass

You just
want to break down

From all
the surroundings

And what
brought you hell

Don't let them get closer

Because
You can't be too careful
Anymore
Jamesb Aug 2023
I love you with every shred of me,
But I do so from the desert fastness,
Where the sun boils away sentiment,
Where softness is a dried crust
And silica blows rounding off
The edges of loving intent,

I love you from a high mountain peak,
Where oxygen is scarce to be found,
Where blizzard driven snow suffocates loving intention,
And an avalanche will ****
Any motion towards a heart
No matter how much love there is behind,

I love you from the deep ocean,
Far from the warmth of any sun,
Where stygian darkness rules,
Where unimaginable pressure squeezes
The joy and vibrancy from every cell
Even as it sinks slowly to oblivion,

And I shall love you,
From beneath a marble slab,
Below the mown turf of the burial yard,
From the sanctity of a closed casket,
Held closed by screws and
The earth's embrace,

And I love you from these locations
Because therein you arent,
You are absent from these places,
From receipt of my love,
From reciprication
And here I remain,

Because you have placed me there.
Captures the futility of.loving someone who just does not, or cannit, or will not, love back
Hussein Dekmak Aug 2023
Listening to your silence, I heard:
Songs and prayers
Tranquility and music
Tears and smiles
Laughters and cries
Despair and hope
Sorrows and joys
Loathing and longing
Passion and peace
Whispers and loud voices

Hussein Dekmak
Hawley Anne Aug 2023
I sail this ocean alone every night.
While wondering how much longer I'll fight,
to stay above water on top of the waves.  
  No sight of safety not islands or caves.
I'm alone and I'm drowning in my own despair,
please if you hear me then tell me you're there.
Reach out your hand and pull me ashore. 
I won't let it go this time, not like before.
I don't wish to stay here alone every night,
with nothing but my sorrows in this lonely moonlight.
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