#despair poems on Hello Poetry

19m

Obsolete

Many have pondered life and what its purpose is.
I, however, have spent more time pondering what life would be like were I not in it.
Pondering purpose has never done much for me considering I am nothing more than a failure.
What purpose could there be for someone like me?

I aspire to better the entire world, yet I can’t even help those closest to me.
I could never meet them, so expectations are the bane of my existence.
Constantly falling short, my presence is nothing but a disappointment.
No matter my efforts, failure is destined.

The hand of guilt rests eternally on my shoulder.
Guilt for not being able to bring happiness to the ones I love.
Guilt self-directed for not being all I once dreamt of being.
Guilt for being a waste of time to everyone I’ve met.

Why should someone such as myself search for purpose?
Such an inquiry would only lead to further suffering.
It is time I accept the truth, that truth being that I am obsolete.

#despair

5h

Heart of White

Eyes white as ivory staring blankly from those rancid depths
Legs trembling and heart stuttering at the closeness of death
Retreat away from stinking pit into the light
Where a man oh so “civilized” and skin so white
Will pull me from despair into a beautiful white haven
A false sanctuary where not is true and all are craven

A poem I wrote after reading Heart of Darkness.

#racism #deception #lies #africa #dark #death #despair #heartofdarkness #fiction

2d

No One Ever Tells You

These are the times,
That no-one tells you how to live.

The times when you wake up,
Hours early,
And your mind is filled
With thoughts of them
What they'd say,
What you'd say
What they'd want you to say
What you'd want them to say

No-one ever tells you how to live those times,
No-one ever tells you how to not be hurting,
No-one ever tells you how to silence the fantasy.

The times when you look up
From your own life,
And the world around you seems to have gone mad,
The stable society you trusted all your life
Seems to be breaking at the seams,
And the people in charge
Don't seem to know what they're doing,
Or care to listen to those who do.

No-one ever tells you how to live these times,
No-one ever tells you how to not feel hopeless,
No-one ever tells you how not to feel helpless.

The times when you go to bed,
And as your brain shuts down,
And all the civilised parts of you switch off,
You're left with pure feeling,
Loneliness
Hurt
Sorrow
Love.

No-one ever tells you how to reconcile those feelings,
No-one ever tells you how to deal with them,
No-one ever tells you how to live,
Without feeling loved.

#heartbreak #politics #loneliness #despair

2d

And to end this

I hold it true, whate'er befall
I feel it, when I sorrow most
'Tis better to have love and lost
Than lie and never have love at all.

I'll cry out for your name
But it will never be the same
Enraged i cry, heartbroken inside
Can't take the pain, there's no way to hide.

I sink down right beside your promise
Your love in despair was put in demise
It's blissful as it seems every night
But then I'll woke up tomorrow like there's no light.

Good bye, for you cannot see me weep
Burn everything, there is nothing for you to keep.
I did not want to leave you, never.
But what you have said forever,
is never together.

A death of love

#lie #love #lost #despair #demise #forever #never #together

3d

Why am I like this?

No one asked for me to be here
Least of all myself
I know I am unwanted
That I am a wrong being
I was not made to be loved
I’m sorry to all those who have tried
I know you think I fall for those smiling eyes
Those next to kind words
But I know the truth
I am insignificant, and you know this to be true
I am only a side piece to a true connection
People would only miss me
Because they feel like they have to
Or because they’d tricked themselves into thinking I was worth something
That’s not just their problem, though
It’s mine
How can I expect myself to leave when I will leave so much sadness in my wake
Even if it’s not warranted
Even if it’s not asked for
I’ve already caused so much harm by being here
By being wrong
But I can’t end things now
Because that would make everything worse
I know no one truly should care about me
But some are too good to see that
And try to love me anyway
They can’t see that
I was born broken
I cannot be fixed
But I won’t let them know
Because I don’t want everyone to know there’s something wrong with me
I shouldn’t be here at all
I shouldn’t be alive
So every night, I ask myself,
“Why am I like this?”
Why am I alive?

#depression #existential #despair #the #usual

3d

Not so silver harmonica

A silver harmonica lustrous and new
Left alone too long and went askew
Rust and grime build up the edges
Mold and fungi growing in the wedges
Once played over and over again
Played so cunningly it should’ve know then
Letting out a peep of despair
That silver harmonica became aware
It refused to sing its melodic tune
And was discarded under the blood red moon
Only to sit deep in the foreboding shade
Wondering if she should’ve just stayed.

#sad #despair #darkness #regret

5d

World without Love

A world without love
is a world full of despair and dwindling lives,
a world without love,
is a world without children,
a world without love,
is a world without empathy,
a world without love,
is a dying world,
a world without love,
is not a world worth living in.

#love #world #empathy #children #despair #heartbreak

5d

Unseen

I see him every single day. The longing inside of me aches for his acknowledgement. His knowing of my existence.But truly I should hate him. He is a monster after all. I hide in the shadows of halls and argue with myself. There are people at my school who cannot let others joy pass through their sights. It’s as if their desire is to make everyone else weak so therefore they can maintain their power. But what is power that is taken from negativity? I will never know so therefore I will never speak up. I can’t speak up. No one will ever hear me or see me. No one even notices me unless I fall and cry or break when the teacher calls on me. I’m their daily amusement. My hands are always clenched in agony and my heart is always being ripped into shreds from vain conquests. Despite the tear in my throat my heart beats for the ailing souls of the forgotten. It knows what the others don’t see and hear. Despite my agonizing breathes of air I’m still alive today. How I can still walk with my breaking bones and how I can still see through the foggy lenses society has bestowed upon me is truly beyond me.

I cannot allow myself to speak. Speaking takes energy. I don’t have enough energy to simply express my being and then have my voice heard. My voice is quiet and raspy with edges of cut mirrors and thorny rose bushes. I used to be a lemon tree sweet and sour but golden and sunny as most people expected from me and came to realize and to be simply put that was their recognition. But then the hazy storms of dread pricked my fragile fingers and brought forth blood of ruins. I was ruined. But at first they didn’t care. They wanted to see me for the way they knew me and not the way I had became. How was it fair that she got the recognition from her ex and not I? Not everyone knows of my full story simply because of the sacred secrecy I have been cursed with. He has banished all thoughts of fantasy and left me as a beggar for mercy.

#monster #teenage #despair #agony #self #worth #life #lemon #tree #broken

Jan 15

PAIN

PAIN
Everything I've tried but I've always failed,
Judging myself through all these strange eyes,
I can't stand I don't talk I've lost my voice,
But I will bear this dispair;
Rage pumping up my vein it's
PAIN
Left alone lost my phone outta zone,
Can't contact feels detached,
Ain't no one to help I know I'm on my own,
Though I'll try I won't cry;
Searching known faces in this rain it's
PAIN
Feeling hungry but I know I've got no money,
Empty jars empty drawers no refrigerator,
Feeling faint it's all same since I lost my mater,
Stealing food, raw or stewed;
Getting caught up in this chain it's
PAIN
No motivation not literate no education,
Not employed jobless life feels like vacation,
Jobs interviews but no news so disappointed,
There's no earning empty wallet empty pocket,
Lost identification left with hesitation;
Can't survive financial drain it's
PAIN
At the end I got nothing to say,
Choose your path walk along make your way,
Give your best your hardwork will pay,
Don't lose it don't you ever give up;
My life's over but don't get caught up in my stain it's
PAIN

It's PAIN living through all your hardships but that's life, have no regrets.
Hope y'all like this one

#pain #suffer #problems #despair