Oculi 9h
She

It's been a while since I've seen you
We never really talked, though
I know that you've forgotten me
You have better things to do with your time
Like getting pregnant at 17
Doing drugs and OD'ing at 25
Leaving your son and daughter without parents

Not that I care all that much
I guess you were nice and cute back then
But you're really just trailer trash now
If we met I'd probably avoid your gaze
I'm well above the level you seem to have sunk to
Anyway, have fun getting high on meth
I'm sure you'll lead a great life
You exemplary citizen

Cameron 1d

Words that ring hollow,
Promises unfulfilled,
Memories forgotten,
Day-dreams fade, turn to ash,
Fly into the sky, never to settle.
The world so vast, so full;
It could never contain
All the hurt.
Like gas - always escaping,
Always sustaining,
Never dissipating.

I try to hide from the places in my head...
But running is not an option...
Facing the pain is like reaching out to grab a dozen roses only to be stabbed with thorns...
I used to say...I will worry about the pain later....
Left bloody, leaking a trail across my paths,
Everywhere I look the ground is painted red....
I close my eyes... but the smell of lead perfumes the air and my fingers are wet with the essence.....
I can not run from my mind.
So I hide in the shadows lost at my thoughts...
The memories are a burden to bear,
I’m hurting....
Hurting...
Yet no one is there.
Why haven’t I been found yet?
I open my eyes....looking down at my tightly, clenched fist, dead roses, dried blood, leaves withering...
All this time I’d been holding on to pain,
When my mind could have told my body...
It’s ok...to let go...of it...

Jay Lewis Nov 13

Take me back to that night,
where the lamppost was the only light in the sky.
Where you turned around and looked into my eyes, I held my breath and your lips met mine.

I felt you die in my arms that morning,
You left without any warning.
You left without a word,
You broke my wings so it would take me longer to walk away from the hurt.

It was your last chance.
And you left,
Without any regret.
I wish you held on,
I can never move on,
this for you is my swan song.

I'm Mourning you every day.
No one compares,
you were the one for me.
But I wasn't enough,
I've tried to become tough.
But his love wasn't strong enough to stay.
I wish you could see my pain.
I'm mourning you until my dying day.

the Nov 12

hollowed chest of broken-hearted rhapsody
eurhythmic harmony of maimed individual
this sorness coated with exquisite luminance
delineated ire on a hopeless romantic

carrying nothing but a wall of felicity
falsehood interspersed to young society
tangled tentons of lonesome planetaries
introverted, flying carelessly to abyss

slitted throat, bleeds continually
forming bath of inexhaustible spite
collapsing world, enhancing grief
crucial words of lacerated crowd




vast space of regretful sparks lightly beaming on a decayed embodiment

the superficies of counterfeit prosperity has fallen down into the limbo

the only thing left -  dejected face of a rotten, testy, vacant debris

“Grieved I, when, as the hope-hour stroke its sum, You did not come….”  
                                    Thomas Hardy            


I stole a jelly jar
of wishbones
once from a dead man—
they sang like a rattle,
those ten conjoined
clavicles, and I spent
the day dreamily
shaking them
like a cup of dice—

wondering
if I could harvest hope;
wondering if
one day
you would return;
wondering if
un-granted wishes
arrived like
a still-born?

I buried the forked
bones in the yard.

Saint Audrey Nov 11

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break

In my voice she heard the fear
As my words fell into her ears
I couldn't bear to play it straight
As she watched me start to break

Thankless and adamant
Not a drop went to waste
I can't forget, a single day
As she laughed, and watched me start to break

Fuck it
I lied
I don't need to justify
My time, wasted with you in memory

Funny how things look so clear

Standing here, all alone
Surrounded by the ghost that haunt the
Air I breath, screaming now
Founded on the things I predicate

You watched my heart start to break

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break

Notes
the Nov 10

sphere in which i fathom the delusive state of empathy
has spoken to me, diverge from my existence, unneeded
the way you perceive pierces my shallow soul
but i still have hopes, i haven't given up yet

erase me from your life, i will still hopelessly love you
neverending stream of sorrowful stages in which you and i
will remain forever together in our dreams and imagination
and don't miss me, i know you are lying to me

i sat alone at the park and watch the gleaming stars exhibit your thin silhouette in which i undoubtfully fell in love with

i'm drunk

should i care what religion's true
if i'm damned in them all?
in case you think that i'm kidding,
let's hastily recall:

on my best days i'm gluttony
and on my worst, i'm wrath.
i think that bacon's kinda nice
and work every sabbath.

i stopped repenting years ago
so i guess that's despair -
and half the stupid stunts i've pulled
can't be redeemed by prayer.

what place is there in paradise
for sinners past a plea?
if gods can see good in a soul
they'll find nothing in me.

here's the #1 reason why i don't rhyme my stuff
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