No ring no real commitment to me
I think almost engaged must be the scariest place to be
Wondering did I fall to quickly
Or are you right here with me
I look at my hand
once this was yours
and in yours at all times
you liked it that way
I didn't complain
I look at my finger
where your ring used to be
you placed it there with a promise
I never believed it was real
and I was right
Let’s recognize the real from the fake.
Before we take the real for the fake and make a real mistake.
We live life the way we were taught through school but are we awake.
Sometimes we hope for a better reality, our dreams could be a reality we once lived.
For my past dreams has come true.
Felt like I lived that moment before I lean towards the term Deja Vu.
What if we are smarter than we actually pursue to believe?
The scientist of the land says we only us a small percentage of our brain, man made theory.
They also believe we all evolved; evolution through apes and we adapt.
We changed form as we transformed but they deformed our minds to contain us.
To think we’re nothing but animals because of some studied similarities.
Knowledge is power but we listen instead of read and understand.
Our brains can’t grow if we accept to be caged in on demand.
My evolution started in Africa, ancestor brought over to build this land, we own no parts of.
Like death, bodies in the dirt, those memories disintegrate piece by piece.
Until we’re just labeled as a person like the rest and we live life until we rest forever caged.
They must have some significance (?)
Perhaps she's into vanity
And just likes the way they look.
Maybe she's engaged to Jupiter,
But like so many men
He never intends to close the deal.
Could be they gently hold her in place,
As she otherwise has a far amount
Of wanderlust inside her.
Then again, there's always a chance
Her moons have conspired
And aim to keep her prisoner.
Whatever it may be,
She's a mystery up there.
I only hope and pray she's happy
With her situation.
It's her life after all...
Sometimes there's more going on than meets the eye
Call upon her to be your queen,
She's gentle, doe-eyed and naive.
The grim fate you kept from her was unforeseen.
Ask her to be your bride,
She's innocent, willing, and submissive.
When questions arise about her, "she's just a friend," You lied.
For no one could ever know the truth, not even her.
She's the other woman.
"are you ashamed of me?"
Never been better
Than the day i asked you
Not in person or in a letter
But with my special voodoo
You said yes
With love in your eyes
My heart exploded in a mess
I still remember that days sunrise
Awaiting the day
To see you walk the aisle
You said you'd wait for my birthday
I still have the biggest smile
No question in my mind
This is what fate wanted
Our hands intertwined
Never a day feeling daunted
im officially engaged
I still cry over you.
I still mourn the love we had.
As pure as it was.
I never thought we'd be here.
Though another love has graced me,
I miss your unique touch
And the way you appreciated me.
Mistakes make us.
And break us.
I don't blame you.
I never did.
I can't listen to Van Halen
Or watch more of the shows we binged
Or even eat popcorn
Without thinking of you and everything we had.
Nostalgia plagues me
And keeps me feeling
Even though I shouldn't.
I was engaged to a wonderful man, once upon a time. I was ***** by who I thought was a friend. Neither of us knew how to deal with it, and for a while, he was in denial about the violent act. He wanted to believe I had just cheated rather than been violated because it was easier to deal with, even though that thought process made him feel betrayed. It ended. It had to. But I can't help but still love him and miss him, even if its just nostalgia.
It was February on a Tuesday
There was pizza in the break room
I kept my distance behind you
Before realizing there was more than food to consume
You turned around and saw me
You nudged me over saying “get in here”
I guess I never saw you like that before
I was stunned as it all became so clear
I think we had a moment
As you looked me in the eyes
While I drowned there in your ocean
I was feeling so surprised
I think you experienced that with me
Because things started to change
You came around more often
I couldn’t stop thinking your name
I was unsure if it was mutual
Then you walked right through the door
And I think we froze in another moment
That left me wanting more
One day I took the elevator
You went to take the stairs
Then you saw where I was going
And you followed me in there
We stood there in silence
I kept looking at you
Then you broke it with conversation
Of things I already knew
You told me you went on a company trip
I saw you leave that day
You briefly talked about it
And I told you I’d be at the one in May
Things were so simple then
At least I wanted them to be
I don’t think that you knew
But I was getting married
Then one day your demeanor changed
I thought that maybe you knew
And days later my telephone rang
And it was a personal call for you
They were following up on paperwork
For you and for your wife
I shook to those words
As it pierced me like a knife
I had to call you
You must have seen the caller ID
Because your voice stuttered when you answered
But I tried to stay as composed as I could be
I transferred you the call
Then I sat there in confusion
I never looked for a ring
Was all of this just an illusion
I questioned my engagement
But you’re already committed
To the girl you promised a future
I just need to stay acquitted
I couldn’t sleep at night
I was tossing and I was turning
While I laid there next to him
But I knew my heart was yearning
I didn’t know how to react
Was this an indication that my feet were cold
Or was I carrying around this guilt
Because my relationship grew old
I didn’t know how to be around you
When we’d pass we’d look away
The flame was turning frigid
Everytime we unintentionally met in the hallway
I tried to let this fade out
I wanted to find an end
But I’d see you around in passing
And this situation was too much to comprehend
Maybe I wanted more
I don’t know what I was thinking
These feelings kept adding up
With thoughts of interlinking
You’d ignore me some days
And act friendly the rest
And the more this went on
The more I suppressed
I wanted to know everything
But I couldn’t find you
You had no presence online
Of things you were tied to
But I did find one thing
A band you were in
So I went through your music
And played “Mission Accomplished” again
That was all I could find
And I left it that way
As we continued in awkward encounters
That moved along the days
As months began to pass
These feelings remained
But no words left our lips
And no feelings explained
Then the inevitable happened
You took a vacation
I thought I could move on
If there was no temptation
But that’s not how it worked
You remained on my mind
With all these things I presumed
That had been left undefined
When you walked back through the doors
I didn’t know what to do
I lost all control
I was not ready to see you
Then came our work party
We were at the end of the year
When you walked in with your wife
I wanted to disappear
I drowned myself in a drink
Or maybe it was more
And when my fiancé left halfway through
I felt nothing but deplore
I couldn’t stop drinking
I’d never seen your wife
But I was facing you
And lost in my own strife
Later I stumbled towards your table
And I saw that you were gone
I was a drunk mess
Who needed to move on
Then it happened again
You went on vacation
And I found something else
To focus my fixation
But it was gone simultaneously
With when you returned
I just couldn’t escape you
Why hadn’t I learned
But this time felt different
You wanted to talk to me
But our conversation had a cost
That we both could foresee
And we both knew the price
Which is perhaps why you changed
Because you went back to ignoring me
I felt so deranged
And here we are now
We’re one year through
Now I’ve written my story
What should I do?
You are the promise
I'm willing to be
This is for someone who made a promise to me years ago (together with a promise ring) and is very diligent in fulfilling it.
every now and then
I look back at your video logs
and see you expressed your love for me again
and remembering how we chased each other like dogs
It's been two months now since you left
why won't these tears stop
why do I remember the beat of your heart when I'd lay on your chest
every sweet memory of you in every drop
these emotions are killing me
please tell me why am I still so attached to you
is it because I keep remembering how you got down on one knee
and proposed out of the blue
today I remembered something you said in one video
I hesitated to go find it
I tried telling myself no
but now here I lie, in this pit