I watch life float by like a dragonfly riding the breeze. I need to seize the current like a brick of gold, soar ever upward, above the swamps, and dead lilies. Transcendent light blinds temporarily, but it's necessary for new sight, and stronger wings.
Let’s recognize the real from the fake. Before we take the real for the fake and make a real mistake. We live life the way we were taught through school but are we awake. Sometimes we hope for a better reality, our dreams could be a reality we once lived. For my past dreams has come true. Felt like I lived that moment before I lean towards the term Deja Vu. What if we are smarter than we actually pursue to believe? The scientist of the land says we only us a small percentage of our brain, man made theory. They also believe we all evolved; evolution through apes and we adapt. We changed form as we transformed but they deformed our minds to contain us. To think we’re nothing but animals because of some studied similarities. Knowledge is power but we listen instead of read and understand. Our brains can’t grow if we accept to be caged in on demand. My evolution started in Africa, ancestor brought over to build this land, we own no parts of. Like death, bodies in the dirt, those memories disintegrate piece by piece. Until we’re just labeled as a person like the rest and we live life until we rest forever caged.
Call upon her to be your queen, She's gentle, doe-eyed and naive. The grim fate you kept from her was unforeseen. Ask her to be your bride, She's innocent, willing, and submissive. When questions arise about her, "she's just a friend," You lied. For no one could ever know the truth, not even her.
I still cry over you. I still mourn the love we had. As pure as it was. I never thought we'd be here. Though another love has graced me, I miss your unique touch And the way you appreciated me. Mistakes make us. And break us. I don't blame you. I never did.
I can't listen to Van Halen Or watch more of the shows we binged Or even eat popcorn Without thinking of you and everything we had. Nostalgia plagues me And keeps me feeling Even though I shouldn't.
I was engaged to a wonderful man, once upon a time. I was ***** by who I thought was a friend. Neither of us knew how to deal with it, and for a while, he was in denial about the violent act. He wanted to believe I had just cheated rather than been violated because it was easier to deal with, even though that thought process made him feel betrayed. It ended. It had to. But I can't help but still love him and miss him, even if its just nostalgia.
It was February on a Tuesday There was pizza in the break room I kept my distance behind you Before realizing there was more than food to consume You turned around and saw me You nudged me over saying “get in here” I guess I never saw you like that before I was stunned as it all became so clear I think we had a moment As you looked me in the eyes While I drowned there in your ocean I was feeling so surprised I think you experienced that with me Because things started to change You came around more often I couldn’t stop thinking your name I was unsure if it was mutual Then you walked right through the door And I think we froze in another moment That left me wanting more One day I took the elevator You went to take the stairs Then you saw where I was going And you followed me in there We stood there in silence I kept looking at you Then you broke it with conversation Of things I already knew You told me you went on a company trip I saw you leave that day You briefly talked about it And I told you I’d be at the one in May Things were so simple then At least I wanted them to be I don’t think that you knew But I was getting married Then one day your demeanor changed I thought that maybe you knew And days later my telephone rang And it was a personal call for you They were following up on paperwork For you and for your wife I shook to those words As it pierced me like a knife I had to call you You must have seen the caller ID Because your voice stuttered when you answered But I tried to stay as composed as I could be I transferred you the call Then I sat there in confusion I never looked for a ring Was all of this just an illusion I questioned my engagement But you’re already committed To the girl you promised a future I just need to stay acquitted I couldn’t sleep at night I was tossing and I was turning While I laid there next to him But I knew my heart was yearning I didn’t know how to react Was this an indication that my feet were cold Or was I carrying around this guilt Because my relationship grew old I didn’t know how to be around you When we’d pass we’d look away The flame was turning frigid Everytime we unintentionally met in the hallway I tried to let this fade out I wanted to find an end But I’d see you around in passing And this situation was too much to comprehend Maybe I wanted more I don’t know what I was thinking These feelings kept adding up With thoughts of interlinking You’d ignore me some days And act friendly the rest And the more this went on The more I suppressed I wanted to know everything But I couldn’t find you You had no presence online Of things you were tied to But I did find one thing A band you were in So I went through your music And played “Mission Accomplished” again That was all I could find And I left it that way As we continued in awkward encounters That moved along the days As months began to pass These feelings remained But no words left our lips And no feelings explained Then the inevitable happened You took a vacation I thought I could move on If there was no temptation But that’s not how it worked You remained on my mind With all these things I presumed That had been left undefined When you walked back through the doors I didn’t know what to do I lost all control I was not ready to see you Then came our work party We were at the end of the year When you walked in with your wife I wanted to disappear I drowned myself in a drink Or maybe it was more And when my fiancé left halfway through I felt nothing but deplore I couldn’t stop drinking I’d never seen your wife But I was facing you And lost in my own strife Later I stumbled towards your table And I saw that you were gone I was a drunk mess Who needed to move on Then it happened again You went on vacation And I found something else To focus my fixation But it was gone simultaneously With when you returned I just couldn’t escape you Why hadn’t I learned But this time felt different You wanted to talk to me But our conversation had a cost That we both could foresee And we both knew the price Which is perhaps why you changed Because you went back to ignoring me I felt so deranged And here we are now We’re one year through I’ve written my story Now what should I do?