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stopdoopy Oct 2018
It burns like an acid,

these hot tears,

Tearing through my skin.

The inside of my chest shredded,

And it's your hand this time,

That holds the carving knife.

Through it all, I hear a pounding-

                          
                                          It's my hand on the table.
                                          As some tune's stuck in my head.
                                          I look around at all my friends,
                                          Grins and smiles a blaze by the fire.
                                          And for the first time in a long while,
                                          I join in, and I'm okay.
Getting over people's a process, but it will happen for you; just as it has for me.


I love my friends
stopdoopy Nov 2019
Two
Halves
Never one whole

Left
Right
But why not both?

Dividing me
Into "opposing" categories
But you can't have one without the other

Neither male
Or female
Simply both
happy birthday to me *****
stopdoopy Jul 2019
lately things have been getting blurry
thoughts
feelings
words
meanings
and I feel like crying
so lost inside my own head
what do I want
who am I
what should I do
my vision is going
and I'm scared
old mood, old issue- I got glasses!
stopdoopy Sep 2018
Your feelings eat away at your brain

until there's no rational part left

and then your fear over comes you

takes control

and doesn't leave

until that one last breath

and then you take the plunge.
Time to post this oldie or else I never will
stopdoopy Jul 2018
I remember the days
on which you said words
that trickled like honey
into my heart
to make it sweet for you

Autumn fresh from summer
"I love you"
and it took only a few months
and I was smitten with you

Winter brought forth feelings
as warm as the drinks we drank
a few more and I whispered
"I love you too"

Spring was the season
a pool I was drowning in
until I found you flirting with her
in front of my very eyes

And just like the first season
everything in me died.
Inspired by my first love, Kodee. They're dead to me now, no hard feelings really, but I'm done with 'em. That **** really ****** me up for a while though; took a few months until I felt normal but once I did, boy howdy.
stopdoopy Jul 2018
I believe I was in love before.
A burst of warmth,
like a gust of wind in the summer.
A joy that clouds the mind and makes it fuzzy.
Yes, I believe I was.
For how else can I explain the tears?
The pain when it ended?
The anger I was DENIED to express without causing further damage?
The sickness that penetrated so deep I could not eat for days.
Yes, I was in love,
but now it's a vague memory.
I wrote this almost exactly a year ago after reading cait-cait's poem "Obituary" by which it is heavily inspired- love you dude, happy birthday!
stopdoopy Oct 2019
It'll creep into your mind
sits in the back and festers
until you acknowledge it
and it makes you sick
having plagued humanity for centuries

It doesn't matter you're happy
a miserable wretch
or a beloved spouse

The dark has no preference
the shadow consumes you sooner than you think
gently swaddled in the shroud of time
something only man knows and keeps
until the end.
Happy Halloween
stopdoopy Jul 2018
(In a vacant church Little Girl and Big Man sit on a parish
a few feet apart, in between them lies a book titled"My Feelings".)

(The curtain opens. Little Girl sits staring at Big Man. Big Man gets up and goes to the statue of himself in front of them for a closer look.)

Big Man: Will talking in person really make a difference?

Little Girl: I like to think it does.

Big Man:  (turns to look at her incredulously.) What wishful thinking, you're so naïve.

(Little Girl opens her book and starts to read aloud.)

(Big Man cuts her off with a noise every time she starts to say something until she falls silent.)

Big Man: Just as I thought, it doesn't change anything.

Little Girl: But you don't-

Big Man: (cuts her off again.) You just can't let things go, that's your problem. I told you I didn't want to do this, yet you dragged me out here. It didn't accomplish anything!

Little Girl: That's because you don't even want to listen or try to talk, you just want to yell and blame me!

Big Man: That's enough, this conversation is over. (Walks off stage right.)

(Little Girl screams in anger and throws "My Feelings" at the Big Man Statue.)

(The Curtain closes.)
I wanted to try something a little different! I've never written stage directions or a play before but I thought this would be a nice change. I didn't really convey the raw anger or passion, nor was it the scene what I originally wanted but maybe it's a step in the right direction. Trying out different styles is neat. Not happy with this piece though but... oh well.
stopdoopy May 2019
I like yellow
I like yellow because like me
I like yellow because like me it's loud
I like yellow because like me it's loud, it's obnoxious
I like yellow because like me it's loud, it's obnoxious, it's bright
I like yellow because like me it's loud, it's obnoxious
I like yellow because like me it's loud
I like yellow because it's like me
I like yellow
And I like me
hmmmm idk how I feel about this

also nervous AF for an interview for a job I don't even want

but I truly love yellow (and myself) so that's life
stopdoopy Sep 2018
A Fix
Burn
Comforting
Fluttering
Itching
Need
Pain
Piercing
Pressur­e
Stabbing
Tingling

-still-

It's either euphoric or revolting,
what some would call love.
wrote this back in june, now it reminds me of some friends (lookin at you Cait-Cait and Trix)
stopdoopy Aug 2018
Many years I've spent in your grace.

Days filled with joy, orange sunsets on summer nights,

but slowly, and then all at once, they turn red.

In the next moment it's over, and you can breathe in the breeze;
Fresh Air.

Free from bindings I carefully crafted, out of a stifling cell, gone is
The Warden.

You know what they say,
"you and me and the devil makes three",
but you're the devil in disguise.

And honey, I'm not in hell no more.
I'm really glad I made the titles of these past poems a pair- because Orpheus is how I used to feel but now it's Eurydice, or at least it's where I'm getting to- not giving a **** about them or being under their control.
Fog
stopdoopy Jun 2019
Fog
Hazy
Hard
to
see
through

.

Clouding
your
vision

.

Unable
to
think
through

.
­
A
gas
that
if
left
on

,


can
and
will
burn
everything
down

.
­
All
it
takes
is
a
spark

,

and
your
life
is
gone

.
life death spark burn gas think vision hazy
stopdoopy Jun 2018
I knew of a girl
in a little green sweater
her eyes were bright
just like the weather
she came from a sunny place but
I slowly learned her insides were more of the rainy type
she said she had the emotional health of a cheese grater
I never really knew what to make of that-
it could be taken so many ways
but what I did know was
she was strong, soft, bold, and outspoken
she might've felt flimsy like aluminum and full of holes,
glass with little cracks to seep through,
but to me she was solid titanium that could shred through anything,
diamond with dangerous piercing points
love ya my dude

(I was going to call it "You Deserve Better" but... you feel like the new title)
stopdoopy Apr 2019
How do I convey how much I appreciate you?
Always by my side and ruthless
To me
Honest and kind
Tell me my folly
My dear with those strong words and determined eyes
I am in your debt for the company you have bestowed upon me
Cait-Cait is the greatest friend one could ask for, and is a treasure.

Also unrelated but "In Hell I'll Be In Good Company" by The Dead South is a bop.
stopdoopy Jun 2018
I should've known
all this time
how I got over new friends
the hurt when you didn't tell me first
frothy anger when I found out about the first
trying to take your time, "protect you"  
overbearing
jealous
conceited
daydream about kissing you...
but we were friends
the first poem...
friends?
that night in November when I came to conclusion...
I felt we were- could be more than friends
you felt the same but
there was a second man already
and I had to put my delusion aside
and be happy for you
and for myself...
based off a past relationship, I didn't like how jealous I was and it disgusted me
stopdoopy Feb 2019
And I'll gladly sit there
in that tacky chair
and bleed out for an eternity

To watch that woman
laugh freely and smile
open and relaxed

All night
and then I'd remember
I'm hers, and she's mine

And I'm so lucky
that she's soft and gentle with me
for surely I'd die in that seat otherwise
Dedicated to everyone, you're all so beautiful.
stopdoopy Jul 2018
Sometimes love isn't what you need.
stopdoopy Mar 2019
You make me go back to the beach
The light breeze your caress
Sun as warm as your smile
Water icy like your words

And I try to float in this sea you made
Tumultuous, and salty as your are
But I'm choking down lungful's
Crying for help

And you let me drown
And it's almost calm down here
On the bottom where I can't breathe
Cause at least I'm out
Of the riptide's reach
"She's a riptide queen and she's super mean"
stopdoopy Aug 2019
Now I see it's you not me
Don't say your same old lies
I'm tired of hearing it all the time

I never wanted this.
Thought that it was always going to last
But now it's failing fast

Wasting my life
It's too much for me to forgive
Knowing how much you hid

Who needs the night
Sick of the fight
You can never find me

Memories swayed
Had I stayed
I wonder how things would've changed

Now that you see what I did
All that's come undone
I just had to run

Not that it was gonna last
I'd've never said goodbye
But all I ever did was cry

Never say I don't care
You were never there
I felt so uncomfortable
stopdoopy Jun 2018
Do you ever wonder if they care as much as they say they do?

Why can't they answer your message?

Why do they only give a few brief words?

Why does it feel like you're the only one trying?

If you have theses or similar questions
then it might be time to cut yourself free and wait.

Wait until they ask you how you are.

Wait until they answer your message.

Wait until they try to put some effort in.

If it never comes, then they don't.
don't just wallow in your sadness either though
stopdoopy Dec 2019
C.E.W,

How long it's been
since you've said your goodbyes

I think of you still
even though I don't wish to

I know
you don't regret it

And I know
I always will, even if just a little

Because despite myself
I was truly, utterly devoted to you

How strange it is
To have been cut out of your life

By your own hands
So final, and definite your judgement

But despite these feelings
I still want you to be buried beneath the snow this winter

Even though I loved you
You've done me wrong, and that I can't forgive

Goodbye,
E.L.C
stopdoopy Aug 2019
You make me want to write poetry,
but I fear I lack the talent to eloquently
put together the words,
to tell you how wonderful you are;
even in the most mundane of moments.
stopdoopy Dec 2018
We are done.

I will no longer sit idle.

I will not wait for my friends to get hurt.

It is long past due,

we will not tolerate it any longer.

Do not make up excuses,

listen to what your friends tell you,

do not give the benefit of the doubt;

they do not deserve it.

If they make you feel

unloved, belittled, ignored, hurt, unsafe,

come to me.

If they call you names

*****, *****, disposable, immature,  a child,

come to me.

Tell, if you wish, all of how they have done you wrong.

Tell me, and I will tell you.

Dump Them.

Gone is the time of "It's none of my business"

Gone is the time of "It's not your relationship"

Gone is the time of "No one asked for your opinion"

That is my friend,

and I will no longer sit and let my friends be hurt.
No matter who you are, friend or not, if you come to me and tell me such things I will not sit there and try to reason it out, I will not hear excuses to their behavior, I will not be forgiving. If you come to me with such words, I will be there to tell you to get out of it now.



I am absolutely fed up with people and how they treat others- that is your partner and you will treat them with the respect they deserve or you will get out. I DO NOT care that you are sexually unsatisfied, feel ignored, and feel unsupported when you have tried gaslighting and dragged in so many things that do not belong in the conversation. I DO NOT care if you are ******* and angry- you treat your partner with the respect they deserve. How dare you.

I'm livid that people will treat others like this and I am done being silent.
stopdoopy Dec 2018
I wish you'd never told me.
Now I'm laying in bed,
torn between feeling sorry for myself,
hating you,
and trying to move on.
As I lay here I think back
"I like him,
I don't know if I could love you as more than a friend,
if our relationship can get deeper".
Why did you say it then?
Why did you tell me my feelings were reciprocated?

You doused my burning heart in water,
and now there's no glow at all,
not even a flicker.
an old post breakup poem I never got around to postin til now
stopdoopy Sep 2018
I want someone to look at me
the way I look at her

for them to be filled with joy
at seeing me
heart pounding
from a goofy smile

to have someone want
to spend all their free time with me

I want someone to love me
the way I love her
Wanted to release an uplifting poem after the Hozier EP drop, this felt like a good one
stopdoopy Mar 2019
Little beads,

Jaded by time.

Bouncing.

Roll on the floor.

The end is here.

Fire Blooming in lungs,

Burning out what once was,

Creating fertile ground for the new.

Flowers weaving through veins,

Bursting through the heart.

Badum Badum Badum.

Excavating the chest,

Tearing through skin.

You see me there,

Rotting on a cracked floor,

Moss seeping through;

Long forgotten.

A smile on my face,

"Thank you for coming"
inspired by some fire ecology and, as always, personal feelings.
stopdoopy Feb 2019
to leave little stains on your cheeks with my lipstick

to see how good you look marked up

your perfume upon my breath

so everyone knows who I'm with

tight hugs

slow dances

nights in autumn

cuddled up

just me and you angel

having a good time
stopdoopy Aug 2018
Wishy Washy.

Tumbling,

Between high and low,

Hot and cold.

Am I delicate like the load of whites? do I need to refresh my color with a strong drink- bleach?

Or am I tough and resistant like denim? toss me in for an hour, shove soap down my throat, and I'll come out like new?

Maybe I'm a mixed load, balancing between the two; teeter-tottering from feeling to feeling.
The day I wrote this I had dreamt of someone who used to be very dear to me who I am having to forget, to better myself. She hurt me bad and I'd been having the same dream of us repairing our relationship for a few months now, and I've felt like a washing machine with my guts twisting and pulling with my emotions going from one end of the spectrum to the next; low in morning, high in the middle of the day, unknown at night. I've had amazing friends, Trixie, Luigi, Houk, Rin, Cait-Cait, and many others who've helped me through these past months who I can't thank enough for their continued support. Whenever I have these dreams and feel this way it feels like a step backwards and I end up feeling guilty for no reason just because I have them, and so I'm hoping that by writing this out it's a step in the right direction. Feeling like this is normal after you've spent some great times with someone you've cared about- weather it's months or years, it hurts and it's okay. I know time will heal these wounds eventually, so for now here's a Band-Aid.

Dedicated to everyone who's been hurt and felt this way or similar, and to my amazing friends;  I hope we all find what we need and can better ourselves, and be happy.
stopdoopy Aug 2019
A love that never was

Oh but I felt it
As we left it behind
getting cut
on the raw edges
not yet worn by time
or effort

Just a fresh feeling
I really did love her
stopdoopy Nov 2018
Getting soaked to the bone

Until some kind people stopped

And offered me an umbrella

A hot shower
A warm meal
A cozy fire

And a new home

Don't come knocking on my door
When you've seen I've found better

Because the rain has stopped

And all I have left to give

Is a scorching heat to burn you with
For this Thanksgiving I wanted a poem that was happy but I decided to post this one instead and i chose it because maybe it by itself isn't happy but the stuff behind it is. Dedicated to my friends who've helped me, and honestly are just there in my day to day life, you guys feel like my family and I love you all.
stopdoopy Sep 2018
Pretty Little Pink,

all wrapped up in silk,

for me.

Beautiful you are,

a gift to gaze upon,

making the hunger grow inside.

My oh my,

you do look delectable, my dear;

and I am starving.
I saw some lipstick and am listening to some music and I just wanted to write something more provocative. Left it gender neutral on purpose. Wish I wrote this depicting something more "filthy" but... ya do what you can.
stopdoopy Jul 2018
Expressing my feelings for you, it worries me.

How would you take it?

Is it awkward?

Are you annoyed or flattered?

I don't need you to feel the same.

I just need you to understand, what I say, feel, mean.

Drenched in two tones.

Both full of love.
And they weren't worth ****
stopdoopy Aug 2018
Sweet lips and kind eyes
I'd sing you all the praises a man can
My Overworked Angel

touch soft and gentle
you radiant being
a feather against my body

warm and gracious is she
perfumed voice
enough to make me bloom
Written because of Cait-Cait's poem,  "I wasn't made for love".


I'm really gay and had to make an unofficial companion piece that doesn't fit it as well as I would've liked, okay bye.
stopdoopy Jun 2018
being struck by lightning
what a sentiment
we think of you as this beautiful destructive force
and you are
but is the electrocution
worth it to taste
that sticky sweet acid
or what about the
searing of flesh in a shattered pattern
branching out
reaching
just like I am to you...
stopdoopy Oct 2018
A woman once
                                        Wished on star
                                        From lands afar

                              "Please oh please
                              Bright twinkling light
                              Give me a child tonight"

                    And the woman prayed
                    Every night for years
                    Her plea fell on deaf ears

          Until a goddess
          Who made me swoon
          Heard her tune;
          The Moon

Begging she had heard
The mother of Earth
The call answered
With a "birth"

          Transcending her planet
          Coming to ours
          In a pomegranate

                    Inside the botanic
                    Did she travel
                    Until cloth unravel

                              Child Delivered
                              To dainty hands
                              Such divine plans

                                        Celestial now infant
                                        Baby and parent
                                        Woman loves ancient
For Houkyou, the title is what my friend calls their daughter and the whole poem is based off of it.
stopdoopy Sep 2019
so gentle and understanding

pining silently, too friendly looks

brushes, only an artist would use

our union under the moon

what should've been, blooming for you

even as I depart, I leave you keeper of my heart

watch over me well, my tender one
im in a sad gay mood for no reason, yeehaw
stopdoopy Oct 2018
your shine

bogged down

by the inkiness

of space

yet you are still radiant

and I can see you even from here

shine bright my love
For Cait-Cait
stopdoopy Jan 2019
Coming from the mouth of hate
A deep green ink tumbling out
With those **** red petals
Having been stained by the blood
Spilling into vile words of suffering
Twisting this way and that
As if alive- slithering into place

I would plunge the dagger
Deeper still into your chest
Turning it and slicing on either side
Until I could reach in and pluck
That beating ***** from the cavity
And hold it in my hand, so tenderly
Just as I always have been with you
And then crush it in between palms
Applying more pressure until
The pain is unbearable and then
Maybe you will have felt
What you've put me through
The line about the petals is reminiscent of my poem "Unrequited Love" and both pieces are about the same person.

This one came from the feelings of when you *****- the rising bile, acrid smell, acidic bite, the retching, and the tears.
stopdoopy Jun 2018
I like to check on you
I don't know if you notice
what I'm doing
what I'm asking
what I mean
it thrills and scares me that you might
you broke me once
but I don't want you to think of me as damaged
I don't need the sympathy
I love you and you don't feel the same
but I need to know the truth
enjoy
stopdoopy Jun 2018
I ended it to make things easier for you.

One instead of two,
but now I ache as I watch you both,
you've pulled away,
the distance increasing.

I know you didn't choose me,
but I chose you.

Even if only as a friend.
post breakup again, yeet

the good think about only writing at certain moments is that you forget them, you move on and  now you can laugh about it
stopdoopy Aug 2018
I wish to gaze upon thee, look at the expanse of virtue.

You truly are a rival for Aphrodite.

An ethereal being.

I am but a priestess, at your alter, worshipping.

If I could meet those eyes, ghost fingers over satin skin, card through sleek locks, then surely I'd be blessed.

For you I'd do as Orpheus for Eurydice, without looking back.

To love a goddess such as yourself is eternal.
I really wanted to write about Hatshepsut and her lover instead but either I found the wrong woman pharaoh or I dreamt the whole thing I've read about her lover before so... couldn't do that. What I remember reading was that her successor started destroying things she's built and having her name erased off of things which is essential for the afterlife, so her lover broke into her tomb to write her name, thus ruining his own chance at an afterlife because desecrating a resting place was a huge no-no. So yeah Idk where I read that or if I did but that's the idea.

So I had to settle on a couple who's names I could remember/actually look up their story and here it is.


Just a heads up because it pertains to a poem coming up, I wrote this months ago.
stopdoopy Jul 2018
Remember that time
I told you I'd felt
like a plant recently?
I'd gone out
and soaked up some sun
after those dark winter months.
The feeling  is
the same when I think
of seeing you again.
To hear that sparkle of a voice
the light of your touch.
You are radiant,
and I a faithful stalk of green.
not the best but I'm very happy with this piece
stopdoopy Dec 2019
I feel like a projection
From a distant planet
Seeing everything from afar

I'm here
I'm seen
I'm heard

But I'm not felt

And I want to feel

As much as this life can give me
So even though right now I'm far away
Maybe I'll get there, someday
stopdoopy May 2019
You make me feel so blue.

Deep as the oceans.

The Aphotic Zone of the heart.

Even so, I would not change my feelings.

For you also light up my life.

Transforming me into a beautiful sunrise after midnight.
stopdoopy Jul 2019
Do you feel it?
As if we're drawn together,
like soulmates.
Maybe you do,
I wont ever know,
but I feel it always ends the same.
Maybe we're not meant to be together.
Perhaps it's always been this one sided...
despite the words you've said,
no matter how we lived.
God and priest,
maiden and servant,
in a war somewhere,
friends.
I don't think we've ever ended up together,
isn't that sad, my dear, Aphrodite?
I suppose it's for the best, darling.
Had to get a last poem in before pride month is over! Hope y'all had a great one <3
stopdoopy Jun 2018
Letting you go to be happy.
A worthy cause in my heart.
If only it didn't hurt so,
but I can let you go.
We can remain how we were
I can be happy this way too.
On that day,
I became a pearl
instead of a rose.
low key steven universe/irl inspired ok bye
stopdoopy Jul 2018
To Transcribe the thoughts
of perfection into words
would destroy the value
and beauty of her
stopdoopy Nov 2018
Eat
1 2 3
Seeds from fruit trees

Love
I've missed you
My cherished one

Soon
You will be
With us again

Cold
Is the earth
Beneath soft snow

But
Way down here
The embers glow

Warm
Are we, beloved
Feelings freely flowing

Waves
Crashing into rocks
Passionate and fierce

Eat
4 5 6
Cross the river Styx
. . . . . .
stopdoopy Oct 2019
Rip me apart
and cart me off
to somewhere unknown

Cut through the top
plunge fingers deep
disgusting, wet, and slick

Rip out the innards
make hollow
for your own pleasure

Unmoving
it sits and waits
for the rest to come

The carving
the face always
comes out ugly

At last
light the fire
and watch it glow

In the bright flames
of a dark night
they'll be left there

Until they're rotting
scrape up the remains
and dump the body
a Halloween inspired poem!

is it really a pumpkin?
stopdoopy Mar 2019
You're not welcome here

There may be posters
on the outside of the building
with your face on them sayin
"Wanted"
but that ain't an invitation

Pushing past the swinging twins
strutting in, without a care
like you've done nothing,
as if everyone in the room
doesn't want to **** ya

For all the things you've done
they wouldn't need the pay
it'd be a service to mankind,
plenty of folks are glad to put a bullet in yer head

But Darlin'
ya always did have a sweet mouth
I'd love to see you talk your way outta this one

And as soon as you go to speak
I can see it plain as day

BANG
Hot anger; what a feeling.
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