those pensive ones as they seem to me birds on the wire gazing this way and that lost invariably to their ennui their melancholy their obliviousness to the point some may say pointlessness of their existence in these moments without reason or incentive enough to prompt one or the other to take to the wing embracing the bluster of the ever-blowing winds rather they sustain this idle malingering waiting listlessly for that which none can know
My hands feel limp and impotent My fingers half-numb across the keyboard I've never felt so thirsty for understanding But nobody in the world is quite what I want
I'm not going to shut my door Even if all the cold air leaks out I'll stare into the frame and Maybe something will jump out Maybe it'll all just rot with me Maybe something will happen to me Because I can't happen myself All I can do is stare
My brother asked me, "Do you want to shoot a gun? We can go over safety. How to load and unload one. You may never have to use one in your life but this is America knowing this could save your life." I told you before, I don't trust my hands when they're still. If I know the code to the safe when I'm ill and how to load a gun when I'm scared, will I remember who I am and who cared? So my brother, I fear what I'll become if I learn this will I get control of my thoughts? Will it bring me power? Will it bring me peace? Will I be in control when I turn off the safety? My brother, I want to know but not enough to hold this answer to the question "When will the pain go?" It's so finite. So absolutely cold. The barrel in my hands so still with idle thoughts.
at the neon glow of the kitchen clock as though its a laser in my eyes. it stares right into my eyes but i dare not blink for what i may miss - - - look at me looking at you as you change minute by minute hour by hour until the orange glow reappears on the easterly horizon and disappears in the west.
yet still nothing new with each setting moon. i've seen the shapes you hold come and go yet still i watch the afterglow time and time again until i wait no more - - - for what? I'm not sure